I am sick of wearing glasses.
I’d rather not see things so clearly.
When I take my glasses off
people are softer and I take more time
with them, listen to them more closely
because I can’t judge their faces
or their clothes.
I’m sick of wearing glasses.
Why don’t I just get in the car
and drive over them? or crush them
in the disposal? or shove them
into that box the Lions Club leaves
at the store so they can recycle them
to people who in fact want to see better?
It’s because I don’t want them to see better either.
I’m sick of everyone being able to see clearly!
If we weren’t all wearing glasses
we’d be less able to use the computers.
We’d stumblefinger over the remote — in fact,
who would care what’s on TV?
Turn the radio on! Or,
we could talk to each other more.
No more driving! No more reading!
No more work!
Let’s try giving our glasses
to all the people who don’t need them!
That would be the Great Equalizer.
They’d get us then.
It would be like living underwater,
all of us lost in the blur,
except we could breathe.
(And don’t start with “have you considered contacts?
What about laser surgery?” Don’t distract me,
I am planning for the future of the world!)
Of course, there might be people who would still see clearly,
who wouldn’t get a pair because the numbers
probably don’t match up. Some folks would still
have perfect eyesight and there wouldn’t be enough glasses
for them. (They’d probably all be
snipers and pilots. We’d have to watch that.)
Maybe we could pass a law?
Maybe we could isolate them somewhere?
Of course, we would have trouble finding them.
I’d suggest we make them new glasses
but we’d have outlawed the grinding equipment
and besides, who could see to run it?
I guess we could just hope for the best
in our new, vaseline-coated world
and pray for their mercy…
or, we could blind them.