I’m
of less and less
value
to those
I love
as I move deeper into
my lifespan
My brain
Full of holes
My ears
more or less
stoppered
I don’t know
how to explain
the kinks
in my heart
other than to say
they hurt more
than just me
My pockets
so empty and they
don’t hold water or
a clue about how
to fill them up
again
and there’s a
lacking
under my clothes
I can’t seem to fix
but I still love
and in dark moments
my skin moves with that
like the sea
I once dived into
a night ocean
lit by a thin
moon
Swam afraid under
thin clouds wondering
what would come up
unseen and kill me
It is much like
that these
days
I feel love
and fear for those
watching me
from the beach
No need for them
to see me jerk and
sink abruptly
or bleed out shaking
in some huge mouth
But I came back to shore
laughing to them that
I’d dodged one
They turn from me
now as they should
knowing I’ve dodged
nothing as
I shake in
such jaws as these
that have me now
and the smell of blood’s
in the water
Dark Matter 
October 7th, 2017 at 9:38 pm
Well written as always. And unfortunately right on target also. My husband had what was supposed to be a frequently performed cardiac ablation and a one day stay in the hospital. In recovery he began to bleed out and then pass out. Two nurses were taking turns putting as much pressure on the site where they inserted the tube as they could while another made the head of the bed go down to get some blood to his brain. Upon getting back to full consciousness, he asked the very good looking blonde nurse who had one knee up on the bed to help her keep pressure on to stop the bleeding , if she was trying to get into bed with him. 🙂
He may be 81 with multiple serious health issues, but he’s not dead yet!!
October 9th, 2017 at 9:44 am
I like that attitude.
Good luck to both of you going forward…