If there was ever tenderness
I have forgotten it.
I do recall
how honest you were,
telling me not to go
the route you went,
and here I am now,
somewhere else entirely.
If there is a rationale
for your advice,
I have become its
embodiment. I indeed
ruined everything. Indeed
I am myself a ruin:
a mystery, an unexcavated
burial chamber waiting
to be bulldozed and regretted.
Hear them revving their engines
now. You are still here and will
be here after they pass — no one
guessed that would happen.
When they finish the road
over where I was, you will
take it to wherever it goes.
I’ll be in the blacktopped
earth, still underfoot.
I did not go the route you took.
I instead became that route
and look where it got me: if ever I had
tenderness to offer,
it remained unoffered. It remains so
today. Here in the sealed earth it all ends —
for the best perhaps, considering
what I was, what I might have been.
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