That was a time:
anyone who said “let’s go”
found a friend
in me.
I’d be ready at once. I insisted
on buying the tickets or driving.
I’d hold the door as we glided out,
a company of foolhardy beings
adrift in the mysteries of the world.
But even then I knew
I did not belong among them.
I was raised instead
to sit by the window
in a hard chair
on a sore ass
and snub the rude world
when it approached
but somehow,
I kept standing up befuddled
when it came for me
and bewildered I would walk to the door
and swagger out among those
urging me to join them and
I would although
I’d be terrified the whole time.
Now I stay home pretending
I can still be counted among
those ragged, brave ones
even as I know
I never truly was
cut out for danger,
and when the world knocks now
I hide behind my curtains and say,
“Shhh…go away…”
and I am proud of myself
for ten whole minutes
after the knocking stops,
after which I curse myself
and begin, once again, to die.
February 8th, 2018 at 5:10 am
Beautifully written.
If you don’t mind, we would love it if you could register on our site and share your content there.
February 8th, 2018 at 5:13 am
Well, I’ve registered already — posted one yesterday, in fact. I may want to do something more with this one, some editing first. But thank you.