I do not trust
what is called “joy”
longer
than a second or two
beyond its initial arrival
or the feeling called
“despair”
for any longer than that
either
preferring instead
to poke at each in turn
until they morph into something
called
“closely watched anxiety”
which lasts and is
genuine
because I call it so
and can understand it with my head
while joy and despair
(not unfamiliar to me
but never completely welcome)
being more emotions of the marrow
are too bone deep
and beyond thought
to be trusted
to endure
the joy may leak free and leave me in despair
the despair may freeze in there
and still me
thus leaving me either way
in despair
too deep to break apart
May 11th, 2010 at 9:21 pm
I LOVE “emotions of the marrow.”
Very straightforward and a poem of great sensibility.
Pearl