Daily Archives: April 12, 2022

Ex-Smoker

In my heart 
(although it’s been years
since my last smoke)

I’m still ending
most conversations
with the thought of the arc
of a flicked spark
— cherry on the end of a butt — 
into a nearby puddle 

which means most of the time
in my heart it’s been raining
and the notion
that such an action is harmful
is less important
that the joy
of the cool it used to represent

whenever I perfectly centered the toss
into the puddle so that it hissed
punctuating the completion
of my every pithy thought

now I’m just
cancerous and failed
wheezing out platitudes

still
that Marlboro scent can
give me heaven
with a death punch
and I miss 
the hiss
the rain
the time when my heart
could hold things


Foul Taste

The flavor of how far you have fallen 
is smoky and full, coating the cheeks, 
sticking to the lining of the throat. 

All you can eat turns into what you can stomach,
but you are so unwilling to starve 
that regardless of the rotten tang of it,

you belly up any time you are
the least bit hungry and take in
what you can stand. It is enough

to keep you some sort of alive without
offering any sort of true nourishment.
It’s a taste, a foul taste, but it’s all you have.


In A City Of Light

You hear a solo guitar
being played
in a city of light

Then imagine somewhere
in a garden
nearby

Someone
dressed to kill
is dancing alone

Because longing
took over 
their dreams

Which turned hard 
as a coastline
soaked in spray

and roused them
to try and dance
back into sleep

While
in a bar
not too far away

Someone’s drinking
their third Scotch
of the night

Wishing things
were different and they were
still open to touch

This is not the life
they once imagined
they’d live

A life
beyond vanilla
to make church people cry

For their vision
of heaven that was mostly
flat plain and white

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (instr. break)

Listening
to music
You start to cry

You can feel
something coming
that smells like a grave

Hope is exhausting
when hope 
is all that you have

to get
from dark to dawn
and then through the day

Go to sleep
past dusk
then wake up in a sweat

Your picture of the future
turning
so flat plain and white

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (instr. break)

Four Scotches in
Shut off 
They go stumbling home

Stops to lean 
on the brick wall
of a garden nearby

On the other side
a dancer
continues to twirl

and the drunkard
starts humming
as they close their eyes

while this song
they don’t know
continues to play

The dancer 
and the drunkard
so close in this city of light

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (instr. coda)

They never meet
Hope fails again
Their dreams collapse
Into flat plain and white