My left thumb,
numb; left big toe,
numb; the rest of both feet
perpetually burning
after first daily contact
with the floor; lately
both hands are beginning
to tingle as well.
They all still work but
are starting to cost so much
in comfort and ease
that I’m beginning
to avoid using them,
some days
doing next to nothing:
staring at screens
large and small instead;
plotting dark points on
black graphs in my head;
making this agony so mythic
that it keeps me in my bed;
holding a grudge against myself
that pushes me closer to dead.
Still, there are those moments
when the window works,
the breeze works,
the sunlight works
to remind me
that I still have senses
that can be trusted
to offer joy as needed; still,
in spite of the long needles
in my soles,
the pricks and flames
that rise in my skin
at the slightest brush,
most days
I get up and see
how much balance
I can salvage
as I rock between those
extremes from
fearful waking to
exhausted, relieved
sleep.
Dark Matter 
April 14th, 2017 at 8:55 pm
I’m counting on Cannabis at the rate I am having surgeries that don’t seem to be totally successful in the sense of relieving pain. I knew that we all got old and died, it just never occurred to me that we did it one part at a time.
April 14th, 2017 at 9:41 pm
Sad but true…
April 14th, 2017 at 8:46 pm
Was in a wheel chair for four or five years from a form of psoriasis on the bottoms of my feet that was as painful as shingles. Even the weight of a sheet hurt terribly. But finally they came out with a medicine that controlled it, though it cost almost $1000 a month. Now there’s a medicine that cures it for $35. Hoping you will also find a cure.
April 14th, 2017 at 8:49 pm
Thanks. It’s not likely, though…the nerves themselves are damaged from diabetes. There are meds, but I can’t take the most effective ones because of another condition. Cannabis and derivatives of that can help, but no cure in sight. Ah well.
April 14th, 2017 at 8:41 pm
Ouch.