violets clinging
to the rock on the lake shore —
the waves fall just short
Author Archives: Tony Brown
modern love
break the night’s fast
with absinthe and
glazed donuts. spend the morning
back in bed twisting the sheets.
buy drugs in the early afternoon
and walk for miles talking of crippled
ducks under the highways by the
dirty river. back to bed and then
when that’s done, eat roast beef
sandwiches and hard cider in front of
fictional crime. throughout,
cigarette after cigarette and
kiss upon kiss.
tomorrow, work or love
or work and love.
pay too much for bread.
steal books from a grocery store.
maybe fight again
and make up, then
go out to drink hard cider and
stare into the pierced faces
of those whose stories
are as weird as this one.
in another time,
someone would have called this litany
surrealism.
something there is these days
that does not love a foundation,
a normalcy. something there is these days
that demands chaos from lovers.
only the stillest moments
of our meager sleep
remind us
of our parents.
Argument
You roiled me and
set me hot enough
to shine red and angry
while still being
in love with you.
How dare you make me
insecure? I was
solid as a leftover coal
and I was sure
there was nothing left
that could burn, and now
the innermost piece of me
is raging and I’ve got
to handle all that
consuming flame.
Mistakes happen.
I am tempted to say
you are one. I am tempted to say
I made you happen without
you being involved in the process.
Sitting with my hand
on the warm and cooling phone,
I’m ready to dial again just to see
what opens up into full fire.
The only problem: you
would be on the other end, and you
fan the blaze until I can’t control it.
Instead I will wait for you to arrive tonight.
You roil me, you and your simple words, your
easy grasp of the easy that goes against
my own love of the complex. You roil me,
set me hot enough to let anger
draw me out — first a thin trickle of smoke,
then a thread of flame, then
something transformational —
a tangle of heat and destruction
that gives off sacred, addictive light.
A message from Tom Daley and the Online School of Poetry
Tom asked me to forward this to anyone who might be interested. Worth checking out.
SPEAK Cancelled tonight…
Due to circumstances beyond my control — and a raging head cold — I’m cancelling the reading tonight.
Spread the word, k? Don’t want people driving who don’t have to.
just a note:
Tonight was the first night in a long time where I hosted a reading with a mike and a signup list and got to be a hardass about time and goof around in front of an audience.
It was fun. A lot of fun.
Fun enough that I’m done arguing the Green Mill issue. Poetry counts, not the internal foibles of a subculture’s rules.
Besides, arguing the rules of slam is like trying to learn Klingon — entertaining for some folks, but of limited use in real life.
kids, we got us a reading…
Gotpoetry Live was a smash tonight.
Full house. Standing room only. Diverse readers. Great energy. Superb feature. Ecstatic management.
We just have to keep it up now.
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to everyone who was there…
in non-slam related news…
Gotpoetry LIVE goes live tonight at Reflections Cafe, 8 Governor Street Providence, with our feature Sou MacMillan.
Sign up book is ready, goes out at 7, reading starts at 7:30 sharp.
Come down and help us kick this thing off right.
Regarding the Green Mill Controversy
For the nonslammers on my list…this will make little sense. Bear with us.
I think a lot of the folks who are excited by the idea are missing a point: that those allegedly open competitions in the semi-finals and finals are open only to those hand chosen by Marc and his chosen associates at a previous opportunity.
Strikes me as a distinct violation.
I would never have qualified in a competition like this. I am not a fan of group work, and my work doesn’t lend itself well to collaborative adaptation. I would have felt locked out of this type of thing. If other slams in the area are not doing well, as I’ve heard, then it pretty much would have locked me out of NPS contention altogether.
I guess my biggest question is this: why does Marc get this kind of a pass from so many of you? If it were being done somewhere else, people would be all over it.
Kill yr. idols.
T
PS: I don’t suppose Marc has any idea already who he will be choosing, does he?
the bodies — alternate take
After you’re gone,
I touch my legs, my belly,
run a hand down
over my cock.
This morning I’ve learned
the words
of an ancient language,
and now I am waiting impatiently
to say them again
without embarrassment.
At last, this is how
to explain the way
the left leg
holds everything together, the way
the right leg
slides against thighs
while the hands move
(apparently randomly to the casual observer)
over and under and into and around.
Afterward
there is joking.
There is more
than kissing,
as if a deserved blessing offered
more than a deserved share of hope.
Then the legs again,
the hands
again, and the tongues
that become involved
once words
no longer suffice.
You told me once and now it is obvious that
I have been dumb for years.
Poetry was sign language.
My tongue has been born again
into a new way
of saying
old, old things.
the bodies
i am amazed
that the bodies
at last can do
what bodies
are supposed to do.
there are no words to explain this
without embarrassment
and inaccuracy.
i will say only this:
the left leg
holds us together.
the right leg
slides against the thighs.
the hands move
(apparently randomly to the casual observer)
over and under and into and around.
afterward
there is joking. there is more
than the human share of kissing,
as if a deserved blessing offered
more than a deserved share of hope.
then the legs, the hands
again. tongues
become involved once words
no longer suffice.
afterward there is much more
kissing and the bodies amazed
at what they’re done.
in the hours
afterward
i stumble about the house
on feet that refuse to walk
and think about the distance
they’ve come today.
it is not enough
to call this poetry.
call it instead a new way of saying
old, old things.
i touch my legs, my belly,
run a hand down my pants
over my cock, understanding
the feeling of knowing the words
of an ancient language,
and of waiting
to speak them again.
san diego — the return
Well, I’m sitting here in Dulles (DC) airport at 6:30 in the AM after getting in from San Diego at 5:00 AM. I took the redeye from CA and got not one moment of sleep. There was a guy next to me, part of a larger group, who kept digging his elbow into me the whole time he slept. I played with this thing, wrote, and played CDs — was able to pick up a pair of CDs I didn’t own for cheap — Public Enemy’s greatest hits and the first Fugees album — so I had some entertainment for the ride, at least.
I had a lot of trouble getting from Escondido, where the meeting was, back to SD for the flight. There was a huge accident on the 15 — a Hummer had crushed a smaller car so badly I couldn’t tell what it was. I am sure whoever was driving was seriously injured or killed. They had obviously used the jaws of life to get the driver out. Scary.
This also meant that I had no time to change my clothes for the trip, so I’m still in the same suit and shirt I was wearing yesterday from 6:00 PST. Coming up on almost 24 hours — I feel grungy as hell.
The meeting, which was an orientation to the contract I’m working on, went well — I’ll be working on a rollout of a new coaching program to a very large accounting firm over the nnext 6 months. I also made a couple of valuable contacts for new work.
Was struck by the number of people in this field who are in the same position I found myself in — ending long corporate careers to strike out on their own and create lifestyles more in line with their values. Of course, I’m one of the few who is also trying to incorporate an artistic slant to the lifestyle, but no matter — I’m in good company, I think.
Some time ago, I developed a workshop that incorporated poetry and the attempt to make a difference through art — myainsel and multimediagrl may recall this. I think it’s time to revamp and re-create this, hoping to use it now that I have some time and energy.
When I get home, it’s time to reconnect with the self-marketing — look for more gigs as well as training opportunities. Time to sit down and figure out my next steps.
Not today, though — today will be about getting home, posting this, and then sleep.
See y’all later.
PS: gotta pull Ken Hunt stuff together, too. Planning to go to Slammasters — hope to get this on the agenda even if only briefly. How do I do that, by the way?
T
san diego trip
If I get searched or stopped one more time while on a flight I’m going to scream.
(O’Hare)
I think I’ve been stopped 90% of the times I’ve flown since 9/11. I know I’m on the watch list (they tell me every time) and I get frisked, questioned, puffed for explosives, etc.
Today was no exception — was checked at the counter and at the gate; they were waiting for me at the counter — when the counter person called in my name, she said, “Oh, you’ve got him too?”
After the usual questions regarding carrying large sums of money, travel in and out of the country, etc., they let me through.
Which political activity of mine do you think triggered this?
— membership in the Greens
— membership in the American Indian Movement
— membership in activities regarding the El Salvador and Nicaraguan conflicts
— organizing and campaigning for Amnesty International (I know for a fact the FBI investigated this one)
— being a poet
— all of the above
I’m in O’Hare writing this offline; will continue in flight and send from San Diego tonight.
(in flight)
I’m watching the kid two rows up and across the aisle trying to pick up the woman sitting beside him.
When she sat down, his buddy in the seat in front of him turned around and the two of them sorta rolled their eyes and practically salivated.
She’s conventionally cute, conventionally nice figure/chest/ass; came on board with rollerblades; and in general looks like the exact type of woman stereotyped frat/jocks would like.
Directly across the aisle is a redheaded punk grrl who is bobbing in her seat to something on her iPod. She’s completely self absorbed and a total doll.
I don’t believe the boys have even noticed her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There has been a plethora of children on each my two flights today, and they’ve both been full to the brim.
There’s a family with seriously bratty kids three rows back. Boy, has that been fun.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(San Diego)
Well, I’m in a nice room — DVD player, sleep number bed (I’m gonna try em all till I know what my number is), and a wet bar I won’t be using because I still have work to do.
I know — not my most interesting post, but ya gotta do something when you’re trapped in a airplane and a hotel room.
Night, all.
Gotpoetry Live
Still looking for a couple of features for April for the Gotpoetry Live reading.
I have April 4 and 11th available.
There are also plenty of dates in the future — if you’re touring please get in touch.
A note: I’m trying to balance locals and touring poets, plus I’m reaching out to worlds beyond the performance world (for instance, I have a fantasy/SF/erotica/poetry writer, Teresa Noelle Roberts, coming in on April 18). So hit me up.
And locals…please understand that I am TRYING TO BALANCE the schedule, so if I take your name and say I’ll get back to you, that’s why.
