Regrets, I Have A Slew

come so far so hard upon
the trail of where
I went once without
care for how it would look
to others 

damn it was easy
when I was young and 
all I had for care was 
residual longing
to belong

now that’s gone
to regret and guilt
but on the poor corner
I look like a king
to everyone but me

if I had a dollar for
every dollar I didn’t keep
when it was in my hand
I’d still be one broke bastard
looking for my confident used to be

with the take for granted hair
and the body that didn’t look like
this betrayal of a Creator’s fabled image 
I used to be just beautiful enough
to believe in God

and now there’s a mistake in every pore
and the distance to travel has wrinkles
and mountains and mutant caverns
I wish I could catch up to the youth I was
spin him around kiss him and say don’t be a fool

you are going to die too soon
and it’s going to be your own fault
and people are going to wail over you
and dogs are gonna fight over your bones
and this is how will be forever 

look me in the eye
and tell me
you are glad I exist
that I caught up to you 
and you are fine with having made me