the broken arm of lady justice
the evened-out rage of alleged allies
my own agreement with those
who urge agreeability over gunfire
Done with
the stink of my confusion over who I truly am
the longing to reconcile all my parts
the ornery spirit that then seizes my hands
and pushes them into this sodden mess of art
the damnation that adheres to them
when I pull them out again and try to simply live
Done with
the notion that living could yet be simple
the sunsets and sunrises that try to say there is hope
the hope that will not touch me as I wish to be touched
the touch that hope offers that will not do to calm me
this whole curse of a hopeless body
that stumbles over everything
the time I’ve lost recovering from stumbles
trying to right myself on the grand wrong path
the mistaken faith of others that
such an implacable path leads anywhere worthy
Done with
the days of staring at my inadequate garage
the garage itself as public tell of where I fell from grace
shame and anger and guilt and insomniac self judgement
over my blind acceptance of lady justice’s sullied grip upon me
the days behind the days ahead and the days between the cracks
in the mirror I have in front of me at all times
the legacies of all who put me here
my own ease in how I have let them matter
Done with
the compulsion to say all this and still claim citizenship
in a place where I was never meant to be
Done with
opening days always with a sneer
closing days always with a sob
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