Daily Archives: December 18, 2019

Fever Ball

Part of a secret project…!

see them all?

at first

peacock boys slide
their glorious backs 
along the walls

glowing girls
dance together
out on the floor
away from the shadows
on the walls

but then say

who dares to say
which is which
who is who

shoulders upon shoulders
bodies spin against 
time and convention
to ratchet rasping rhythm

in a ghost ballroom

a ruinous city 

perhaps new Paris
or old Havana
or a pure fiction
of both at once

awash in peril and sex

their glitter hands
roaming and now

under the roar of sacred danger
see them glide into 
this jeweled wake
this fever cotillion
of open desire
and clandestine tension

see them all as they move
along the walls

away from the walls

hear them

Pug And Wolf

I had just left the trash at the curb
and turned back to the house

when I had a flash of fantasy:
a pug was sitting 

on the porch, speaking to me
of winter. 

Back in the house
with coffee and comfort now,
I can’t recall what the dog said.
Rolling possibilities over themselves

I try to jolt myself
into falsehood, telling myself
it was not a pug
but a wolf
and ancestral truth had been
offered to me at last,

but I know it was a pug.
I know I cannot recall the message
precisely because
I want it to have been a wolf.

I want to have been chosen
by something
stereotypically pure,
faithful to what my whiteness demands of me:
that any time nature speaks
it must speak to the brown in me
and not to the hybridized me,
most certainly not to the aging urban poor
me, the crumbling me who 
spends his vision quests at a keyboard.

What’s happened

is that even when I am given a vision
I can’t see it
because I’m wrapped in a lie
and cannot see the truth 

that I’m a pug here myself,
a pug in winter; cloud forming
before my nose, so close to my eyes
I am blinded by
my own breath.