Originally posted 9-15-2016.
Here is a riddle
A clerk at a butcher shop
stands five feet ten inches tall
and wears size 13 sneakers
What does he weigh?
Meat
He weighs meat
Ha ha
good one
we’re supposed to say and
it’s true as far as it goes but
it doesn’t take into account
the possibility
that the butcher might also sell
various deli items
and the clerk
might weigh out piles of slices
of provolone into
white waxed paper
sealed with brown tape labels
with name and price handwritten
in black grease pencil
or that said clerk might also weigh
heaps of potato salad
into plastic tubs
from a white enamel case
with huge sliding doors
the way Michael Morelli did
when I was a kid
on my family’s Saturday morning trips
to his dad’s market in Milford
I remember his old man
would hand slices of cheese
over the counter to me with a wink
when my mom wasn’t looking
The riddle also
doesn’t take into account
that the same clerk might also
at some point
have to weigh
a decision set before him
whether to maintain
this family business
or sell the building to a barber
upon his father’s death
so he might go on
and do other things
It skips entirely
the possibility
that the clerk might also
continue to weigh
the consequences of that decision
every time he passes
the now empty and decrepit
storefront that long ago
went from being
a butcher shop
to a barber shop
to an antique shop
to a computer repair shop
to an empty shop
to a broken hole
on a broken block
in a broken downtown
The clerk goes home
Weighs himself
Sighs
Stares into his bathroom mirror
Ssits in the dark
in his clean modern kitchen
at the butcher block island
Ha ha
Good one
he says
This riddle is endlessly retold
for new audiences
more and more of whom
have never seen
a butcher shop
white paper
brown tape
grease pencil
have never smelled
mingled sawdust and blood
never felt the cold blast of air
from the walk-in
where full quarters of beef
hang behind glass
behind the counter
So now
here’s a new riddle
A writer on a couch with a laptop
five foot eight when standing
wears a size ten shoe
at 59 is shocked to realize
he can still remember
the name of a butcher
and his son
who once owned a shop
that’s been gone
for most of his lifetime
and at how much
this memory weighs
When does this all get funny
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