Y’know,
when I had a job
I liked my job.
My HR job —
yeah, I was
one of those.
I liked the problems,
I liked the people
at my job.
At my job
the bosses liked it when
I listened
and answered
as they expected.
If I disagreed or took another tack
they called it “recreational arguing”
and dinged me on my review,
year after year,
for doing so.
A disrespectful thing to say —
as if I did not care, as if
this was a game to me —
as if the day to day labor
of how to make lives better
during the third of a lifetime
people spend at work
was amusing, was not worth
consideration
from multiple angles.
They won.
They won
a different game,
one I didn’t know
I was playing.
Years ago now,
all of that. Water
over the top
of a failed dam.
I do not argue anymore
for game or love
or righteousness.
They taught me
how to play the real game —
the one where I sit
and wait in the dark.
I sit and think
of how to play the game.
I sit in the dark
even while
the dark sits in me.
