I’ve stopped looking at certain magazine articles
about travel to places I’ve been
because I will not likely go to any
of those places again: Los Angeles,
Columbus, Atlanta, Miami, Fargo.
There’s no point in looking at travel brochures
for places I never went to
because I will not likely go there now:
Tenerife, Juneau, Kingston, Omaha,
Tzitzicaztenanco, Lagos, Cheyenne, Rome.
I look into each room I enter now
long and hard, because I will not likely know
which entrance will be my last entrance,
which entrance will not be followed by an exit;
not that my struggle to memorize the details of each
will matter, for if I do indeed pass in that very room
right then and there, no one will know what I saw
and noticed. I will take that work with me
to wherever is next, or it will fade with my own fading
from sight. I tell you this now so you will know
how much it matters to me now that I am present
wherever I am. When I pass I will strive
to hold onto that moment as long as I can.
If it vanishes with me then so be it. It of course
will vanish for you then, and I am sorry for that.
Just know that I have already stopped thinking of
Paris and Tzitzicastenaco with regret
for never having been there. That I have no regrets
for never having returned to Atlanta or Chicago.
I got what I needed there and hope I gave
as good as I got from each. Whatever room
I depart from now, I will try to grace it. I hope
someone turns from me slowly cooling there
with love for my having been there. I will work
to honor all the spaces where I have yet to be.
May 6th, 2018 at 11:42 am
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