An emergency game
of back and forth
as I try to fix myself.
How much I depend upon
the vanity of thinking
such things.
I still imagine I’m
repairable. I still put it
in writing. I still put it
out there. An emergency
back and forth, a triage
disguised as tug of war.
Everyone who can see
knows the game i’m playing
and how played out it is,
how I have played myself.
There’s no real emergency
in this back and forth.
The tug of war as always ends with both sides
sprawled and defeated yet
I imagine tomorrow will somehow be different.