Slowly Lying Down

Slowly 
lying down as if there were
long unconscious hours ahead and
not such short time
before necessary waking.

Head
upon pillow as if nothing
has changed at all and 
daybreak will bring just another
round of work and play.

Heavy 
eyelids closing as if there were
no fires burning and no one
screaming for rescue as their roof
tumbles in upon them.

You don’t recognize
this slothful self.
You don’t recognize
this frightened, frozen
self who hears and sees
all this yet decides
to crawl into bed
and fall into such 
an evil sleep

that when you wake
you aren’t even sure
that you should
be allowed to continue
to use your own name
in polite company, you’ve
stained it so.