Daily Archives: April 19, 2015

Call Center Incident

Originally posted 11/27/2009.

The first words
out of her mouth are,
“why are you working on Thanksgiving?”

I hold my tongue
instead of saying,
“why are you shopping on Thanksgiving?”

Later in the call (which is far longer
than our four minute standard
and I’ll probably get written up for it)

she tells me her son’s
moved out of state
to be with his girlfriend,

who has a huge chest. For Christmas
she’s buying her
our Fairy Fantasy Sweatshirt;

do I think the XL
or the 1X 
would be a better fit? 

I say I would go
with the 1X
based on her description.

She says she also has a huge chest
and both her sons were always
“tit clutchers”

and she’s had long talks
with the girlfriend
about that.

OK, I say,
and by the way,
we’re running a special today,

as a thank you you can have
another one or two items
at 15% off.

She declines at first
but then
goes silent.

I can hear the pages flipping,
she’s looking
for something else to buy — 

a perfect gift for someone.
She mentions that her other son
doesn’t talk to her at all.

I take another bite
of the cold apple pie
the company’s so thoughtfully provided

and I’ll be damned
if I hurry her