when
can
I kill
myself
when can I let myself off a hook
as sharp as this one’s been
and hold
my dead head high
when can I be unreasonable
slip stupid thoughts over my eyes
like treacherous hoods and buy into
whatever I tell myself
damned if I know if I’ll ever be able to
seems I’ve got a plainclothes conscience
that sneaks up on me
I want to claim entrapment
give me a handcuff key
and let me go
the will to live isn’t all it’s
cracked up to be
word on the street is
I’ll never get my chance
word on the street says
I snitched and death
is too good for me
NOTE WELL!!!!!!!
I’m fine, ok? It’s a poem based in reflection on past feelings — not distant past, I admit, but past nonetheless.
Again: with my work and of course others, to assume the voice of the poem is automatically the voice of the poet can get you in trouble. I can see why folks might think that here; but really, I’m fine.
Dark Matter 
November 11th, 2004 at 3:15 pm
Re: like the indie Eeyore
thanks!
November 11th, 2004 at 3:15 pm
Re: like the indie Eeyore
thanks!
November 11th, 2004 at 3:15 pm
Re: like the indie Eeyore
thanks!
November 11th, 2004 at 3:15 pm
Re: like the indie Eeyore
thanks!
November 11th, 2004 at 3:15 pm
Re: like the indie Eeyore
thanks!
November 11th, 2004 at 3:15 pm
Re: like the indie Eeyore
thanks!
November 11th, 2004 at 3:15 pm
Re: like the indie Eeyore
thanks!
November 11th, 2004 at 3:15 pm
Re: like the indie Eeyore
thanks!
November 11th, 2004 at 1:00 pm
like the indie Eeyore
you can just say the poem is in my voice. they’re used to it.
it is v. v. good as a pure exploration of applied metaphor.
November 11th, 2004 at 1:00 pm
like the indie Eeyore
you can just say the poem is in my voice. they’re used to it.
it is v. v. good as a pure exploration of applied metaphor.
November 11th, 2004 at 1:00 pm
like the indie Eeyore
you can just say the poem is in my voice. they’re used to it.
it is v. v. good as a pure exploration of applied metaphor.
November 11th, 2004 at 1:00 pm
like the indie Eeyore
you can just say the poem is in my voice. they’re used to it.
it is v. v. good as a pure exploration of applied metaphor.
November 11th, 2004 at 1:00 pm
like the indie Eeyore
you can just say the poem is in my voice. they’re used to it.
it is v. v. good as a pure exploration of applied metaphor.
November 11th, 2004 at 1:00 pm
like the indie Eeyore
you can just say the poem is in my voice. they’re used to it.
it is v. v. good as a pure exploration of applied metaphor.
November 11th, 2004 at 1:00 pm
like the indie Eeyore
you can just say the poem is in my voice. they’re used to it.
it is v. v. good as a pure exploration of applied metaphor.
November 11th, 2004 at 1:00 pm
like the indie Eeyore
you can just say the poem is in my voice. they’re used to it.
it is v. v. good as a pure exploration of applied metaphor.
November 11th, 2004 at 11:59 am
>Solomon’s book sits untouched on my desk in the office, I am ashamed to admit. I might crack it now…
Like I said, it’s a book I had to return to a few times to get through, but it was definitely worth it.
>Styron’s book is pretty unrelenting. I’d like a little funny if we’re gonna talk about this.
I totally agree. Solomon’s an interesting writer–he shifts mood fairly effortlessly, and he manages to neither pull punches or lose his sense of humour, which is interesting.
> If you were scared…my work here is done.
Yeah, I think more poems should induce panic attacks in the workplace. (:
November 11th, 2004 at 11:59 am
>Solomon’s book sits untouched on my desk in the office, I am ashamed to admit. I might crack it now…
Like I said, it’s a book I had to return to a few times to get through, but it was definitely worth it.
>Styron’s book is pretty unrelenting. I’d like a little funny if we’re gonna talk about this.
I totally agree. Solomon’s an interesting writer–he shifts mood fairly effortlessly, and he manages to neither pull punches or lose his sense of humour, which is interesting.
> If you were scared…my work here is done.
Yeah, I think more poems should induce panic attacks in the workplace. (:
November 11th, 2004 at 11:59 am
>Solomon’s book sits untouched on my desk in the office, I am ashamed to admit. I might crack it now…
Like I said, it’s a book I had to return to a few times to get through, but it was definitely worth it.
>Styron’s book is pretty unrelenting. I’d like a little funny if we’re gonna talk about this.
I totally agree. Solomon’s an interesting writer–he shifts mood fairly effortlessly, and he manages to neither pull punches or lose his sense of humour, which is interesting.
> If you were scared…my work here is done.
Yeah, I think more poems should induce panic attacks in the workplace. (:
November 11th, 2004 at 11:59 am
>Solomon’s book sits untouched on my desk in the office, I am ashamed to admit. I might crack it now…
Like I said, it’s a book I had to return to a few times to get through, but it was definitely worth it.
>Styron’s book is pretty unrelenting. I’d like a little funny if we’re gonna talk about this.
I totally agree. Solomon’s an interesting writer–he shifts mood fairly effortlessly, and he manages to neither pull punches or lose his sense of humour, which is interesting.
> If you were scared…my work here is done.
Yeah, I think more poems should induce panic attacks in the workplace. (:
November 11th, 2004 at 11:59 am
>Solomon’s book sits untouched on my desk in the office, I am ashamed to admit. I might crack it now…
Like I said, it’s a book I had to return to a few times to get through, but it was definitely worth it.
>Styron’s book is pretty unrelenting. I’d like a little funny if we’re gonna talk about this.
I totally agree. Solomon’s an interesting writer–he shifts mood fairly effortlessly, and he manages to neither pull punches or lose his sense of humour, which is interesting.
> If you were scared…my work here is done.
Yeah, I think more poems should induce panic attacks in the workplace. (:
November 11th, 2004 at 11:59 am
>Solomon’s book sits untouched on my desk in the office, I am ashamed to admit. I might crack it now…
Like I said, it’s a book I had to return to a few times to get through, but it was definitely worth it.
>Styron’s book is pretty unrelenting. I’d like a little funny if we’re gonna talk about this.
I totally agree. Solomon’s an interesting writer–he shifts mood fairly effortlessly, and he manages to neither pull punches or lose his sense of humour, which is interesting.
> If you were scared…my work here is done.
Yeah, I think more poems should induce panic attacks in the workplace. (:
November 11th, 2004 at 11:59 am
>Solomon’s book sits untouched on my desk in the office, I am ashamed to admit. I might crack it now…
Like I said, it’s a book I had to return to a few times to get through, but it was definitely worth it.
>Styron’s book is pretty unrelenting. I’d like a little funny if we’re gonna talk about this.
I totally agree. Solomon’s an interesting writer–he shifts mood fairly effortlessly, and he manages to neither pull punches or lose his sense of humour, which is interesting.
> If you were scared…my work here is done.
Yeah, I think more poems should induce panic attacks in the workplace. (:
November 11th, 2004 at 11:59 am
>Solomon’s book sits untouched on my desk in the office, I am ashamed to admit. I might crack it now…
Like I said, it’s a book I had to return to a few times to get through, but it was definitely worth it.
>Styron’s book is pretty unrelenting. I’d like a little funny if we’re gonna talk about this.
I totally agree. Solomon’s an interesting writer–he shifts mood fairly effortlessly, and he manages to neither pull punches or lose his sense of humour, which is interesting.
> If you were scared…my work here is done.
Yeah, I think more poems should induce panic attacks in the workplace. (:
November 11th, 2004 at 11:51 am
Solomon’s book sits untouched on my desk in the office, I am ashamed to admit. I might crack it now…
Styron’s book is pretty unrelenting. I’d like a little funny if we’re gonna talk about this.
If you were scared…my work here is done. (OK, not really. But you get the picture.)
Thanks…
November 11th, 2004 at 11:51 am
Solomon’s book sits untouched on my desk in the office, I am ashamed to admit. I might crack it now…
Styron’s book is pretty unrelenting. I’d like a little funny if we’re gonna talk about this.
If you were scared…my work here is done. (OK, not really. But you get the picture.)
Thanks…
November 11th, 2004 at 11:51 am
Solomon’s book sits untouched on my desk in the office, I am ashamed to admit. I might crack it now…
Styron’s book is pretty unrelenting. I’d like a little funny if we’re gonna talk about this.
If you were scared…my work here is done. (OK, not really. But you get the picture.)
Thanks…
November 11th, 2004 at 11:51 am
Solomon’s book sits untouched on my desk in the office, I am ashamed to admit. I might crack it now…
Styron’s book is pretty unrelenting. I’d like a little funny if we’re gonna talk about this.
If you were scared…my work here is done. (OK, not really. But you get the picture.)
Thanks…
November 11th, 2004 at 11:51 am
Solomon’s book sits untouched on my desk in the office, I am ashamed to admit. I might crack it now…
Styron’s book is pretty unrelenting. I’d like a little funny if we’re gonna talk about this.
If you were scared…my work here is done. (OK, not really. But you get the picture.)
Thanks…
November 11th, 2004 at 11:51 am
Solomon’s book sits untouched on my desk in the office, I am ashamed to admit. I might crack it now…
Styron’s book is pretty unrelenting. I’d like a little funny if we’re gonna talk about this.
If you were scared…my work here is done. (OK, not really. But you get the picture.)
Thanks…
November 11th, 2004 at 11:51 am
Solomon’s book sits untouched on my desk in the office, I am ashamed to admit. I might crack it now…
Styron’s book is pretty unrelenting. I’d like a little funny if we’re gonna talk about this.
If you were scared…my work here is done. (OK, not really. But you get the picture.)
Thanks…
November 11th, 2004 at 11:51 am
Solomon’s book sits untouched on my desk in the office, I am ashamed to admit. I might crack it now…
Styron’s book is pretty unrelenting. I’d like a little funny if we’re gonna talk about this.
If you were scared…my work here is done. (OK, not really. But you get the picture.)
Thanks…
November 11th, 2004 at 11:39 am
>I’m fine, ok? It’s a poem based in reflection on past feelings — not distant past, I admit, but past nonetheless.
Thank God. I’ve never been more scared shitless by a poem in my life. Which, I suppose, is an accomplishment.
Did you ever read Andrew Solomon’s “The Noonday Demon?” Excellent book–half memoir of depression, half research, and he flows near effortlessly back and forth between the two. I couldn’t read more thna 20 or so pages at a time, because the shock of recognition was a bit too much to handle, but it IS excellent. (And, oddly, sometimes funny. Which is a small mercy, as opposed to, say, Styron’s “Darkness Visible,” which is not.)
Anyway, he talks a lot about suicide, about how having it as an option sometimes was enough to remind him that he did have options. I’m probably oversimplifying. It’s the book that cemented my belief that suicidal tendencies were not a symptom of depression, but rather that depression was the result of the bodies attempt to suppress suicidal impulses. Interesting stuff. In small doses.
November 11th, 2004 at 11:39 am
>I’m fine, ok? It’s a poem based in reflection on past feelings — not distant past, I admit, but past nonetheless.
Thank God. I’ve never been more scared shitless by a poem in my life. Which, I suppose, is an accomplishment.
Did you ever read Andrew Solomon’s “The Noonday Demon?” Excellent book–half memoir of depression, half research, and he flows near effortlessly back and forth between the two. I couldn’t read more thna 20 or so pages at a time, because the shock of recognition was a bit too much to handle, but it IS excellent. (And, oddly, sometimes funny. Which is a small mercy, as opposed to, say, Styron’s “Darkness Visible,” which is not.)
Anyway, he talks a lot about suicide, about how having it as an option sometimes was enough to remind him that he did have options. I’m probably oversimplifying. It’s the book that cemented my belief that suicidal tendencies were not a symptom of depression, but rather that depression was the result of the bodies attempt to suppress suicidal impulses. Interesting stuff. In small doses.
November 11th, 2004 at 11:39 am
>I’m fine, ok? It’s a poem based in reflection on past feelings — not distant past, I admit, but past nonetheless.
Thank God. I’ve never been more scared shitless by a poem in my life. Which, I suppose, is an accomplishment.
Did you ever read Andrew Solomon’s “The Noonday Demon?” Excellent book–half memoir of depression, half research, and he flows near effortlessly back and forth between the two. I couldn’t read more thna 20 or so pages at a time, because the shock of recognition was a bit too much to handle, but it IS excellent. (And, oddly, sometimes funny. Which is a small mercy, as opposed to, say, Styron’s “Darkness Visible,” which is not.)
Anyway, he talks a lot about suicide, about how having it as an option sometimes was enough to remind him that he did have options. I’m probably oversimplifying. It’s the book that cemented my belief that suicidal tendencies were not a symptom of depression, but rather that depression was the result of the bodies attempt to suppress suicidal impulses. Interesting stuff. In small doses.
November 11th, 2004 at 11:39 am
>I’m fine, ok? It’s a poem based in reflection on past feelings — not distant past, I admit, but past nonetheless.
Thank God. I’ve never been more scared shitless by a poem in my life. Which, I suppose, is an accomplishment.
Did you ever read Andrew Solomon’s “The Noonday Demon?” Excellent book–half memoir of depression, half research, and he flows near effortlessly back and forth between the two. I couldn’t read more thna 20 or so pages at a time, because the shock of recognition was a bit too much to handle, but it IS excellent. (And, oddly, sometimes funny. Which is a small mercy, as opposed to, say, Styron’s “Darkness Visible,” which is not.)
Anyway, he talks a lot about suicide, about how having it as an option sometimes was enough to remind him that he did have options. I’m probably oversimplifying. It’s the book that cemented my belief that suicidal tendencies were not a symptom of depression, but rather that depression was the result of the bodies attempt to suppress suicidal impulses. Interesting stuff. In small doses.
November 11th, 2004 at 11:39 am
>I’m fine, ok? It’s a poem based in reflection on past feelings — not distant past, I admit, but past nonetheless.
Thank God. I’ve never been more scared shitless by a poem in my life. Which, I suppose, is an accomplishment.
Did you ever read Andrew Solomon’s “The Noonday Demon?” Excellent book–half memoir of depression, half research, and he flows near effortlessly back and forth between the two. I couldn’t read more thna 20 or so pages at a time, because the shock of recognition was a bit too much to handle, but it IS excellent. (And, oddly, sometimes funny. Which is a small mercy, as opposed to, say, Styron’s “Darkness Visible,” which is not.)
Anyway, he talks a lot about suicide, about how having it as an option sometimes was enough to remind him that he did have options. I’m probably oversimplifying. It’s the book that cemented my belief that suicidal tendencies were not a symptom of depression, but rather that depression was the result of the bodies attempt to suppress suicidal impulses. Interesting stuff. In small doses.
November 11th, 2004 at 11:39 am
>I’m fine, ok? It’s a poem based in reflection on past feelings — not distant past, I admit, but past nonetheless.
Thank God. I’ve never been more scared shitless by a poem in my life. Which, I suppose, is an accomplishment.
Did you ever read Andrew Solomon’s “The Noonday Demon?” Excellent book–half memoir of depression, half research, and he flows near effortlessly back and forth between the two. I couldn’t read more thna 20 or so pages at a time, because the shock of recognition was a bit too much to handle, but it IS excellent. (And, oddly, sometimes funny. Which is a small mercy, as opposed to, say, Styron’s “Darkness Visible,” which is not.)
Anyway, he talks a lot about suicide, about how having it as an option sometimes was enough to remind him that he did have options. I’m probably oversimplifying. It’s the book that cemented my belief that suicidal tendencies were not a symptom of depression, but rather that depression was the result of the bodies attempt to suppress suicidal impulses. Interesting stuff. In small doses.
November 11th, 2004 at 11:39 am
>I’m fine, ok? It’s a poem based in reflection on past feelings — not distant past, I admit, but past nonetheless.
Thank God. I’ve never been more scared shitless by a poem in my life. Which, I suppose, is an accomplishment.
Did you ever read Andrew Solomon’s “The Noonday Demon?” Excellent book–half memoir of depression, half research, and he flows near effortlessly back and forth between the two. I couldn’t read more thna 20 or so pages at a time, because the shock of recognition was a bit too much to handle, but it IS excellent. (And, oddly, sometimes funny. Which is a small mercy, as opposed to, say, Styron’s “Darkness Visible,” which is not.)
Anyway, he talks a lot about suicide, about how having it as an option sometimes was enough to remind him that he did have options. I’m probably oversimplifying. It’s the book that cemented my belief that suicidal tendencies were not a symptom of depression, but rather that depression was the result of the bodies attempt to suppress suicidal impulses. Interesting stuff. In small doses.
November 11th, 2004 at 11:39 am
>I’m fine, ok? It’s a poem based in reflection on past feelings — not distant past, I admit, but past nonetheless.
Thank God. I’ve never been more scared shitless by a poem in my life. Which, I suppose, is an accomplishment.
Did you ever read Andrew Solomon’s “The Noonday Demon?” Excellent book–half memoir of depression, half research, and he flows near effortlessly back and forth between the two. I couldn’t read more thna 20 or so pages at a time, because the shock of recognition was a bit too much to handle, but it IS excellent. (And, oddly, sometimes funny. Which is a small mercy, as opposed to, say, Styron’s “Darkness Visible,” which is not.)
Anyway, he talks a lot about suicide, about how having it as an option sometimes was enough to remind him that he did have options. I’m probably oversimplifying. It’s the book that cemented my belief that suicidal tendencies were not a symptom of depression, but rather that depression was the result of the bodies attempt to suppress suicidal impulses. Interesting stuff. In small doses.
November 11th, 2004 at 10:55 am
Oh, no no no. Sorry.
It’s very much a piece inspired by the title and my own sense of trying to understand myself.
I’m fine. Thanks.
You be fine too.
November 11th, 2004 at 10:55 am
Oh, no no no. Sorry.
It’s very much a piece inspired by the title and my own sense of trying to understand myself.
I’m fine. Thanks.
You be fine too.
November 11th, 2004 at 10:55 am
Oh, no no no. Sorry.
It’s very much a piece inspired by the title and my own sense of trying to understand myself.
I’m fine. Thanks.
You be fine too.
November 11th, 2004 at 10:55 am
Oh, no no no. Sorry.
It’s very much a piece inspired by the title and my own sense of trying to understand myself.
I’m fine. Thanks.
You be fine too.
November 11th, 2004 at 10:55 am
Oh, no no no. Sorry.
It’s very much a piece inspired by the title and my own sense of trying to understand myself.
I’m fine. Thanks.
You be fine too.
November 11th, 2004 at 10:55 am
Oh, no no no. Sorry.
It’s very much a piece inspired by the title and my own sense of trying to understand myself.
I’m fine. Thanks.
You be fine too.
November 11th, 2004 at 10:55 am
Oh, no no no. Sorry.
It’s very much a piece inspired by the title and my own sense of trying to understand myself.
I’m fine. Thanks.
You be fine too.
November 11th, 2004 at 10:55 am
Oh, no no no. Sorry.
It’s very much a piece inspired by the title and my own sense of trying to understand myself.
I’m fine. Thanks.
You be fine too.
November 11th, 2004 at 10:54 am
I’m hoping this is a fictional piece. If not, please hang in there. I’ll promise not to kill MYSELF if you promise not to either.
November 11th, 2004 at 10:54 am
I’m hoping this is a fictional piece. If not, please hang in there. I’ll promise not to kill MYSELF if you promise not to either.
November 11th, 2004 at 10:54 am
I’m hoping this is a fictional piece. If not, please hang in there. I’ll promise not to kill MYSELF if you promise not to either.
November 11th, 2004 at 10:54 am
I’m hoping this is a fictional piece. If not, please hang in there. I’ll promise not to kill MYSELF if you promise not to either.
November 11th, 2004 at 10:54 am
I’m hoping this is a fictional piece. If not, please hang in there. I’ll promise not to kill MYSELF if you promise not to either.
November 11th, 2004 at 10:54 am
I’m hoping this is a fictional piece. If not, please hang in there. I’ll promise not to kill MYSELF if you promise not to either.
November 11th, 2004 at 10:54 am
I’m hoping this is a fictional piece. If not, please hang in there. I’ll promise not to kill MYSELF if you promise not to either.
November 11th, 2004 at 10:54 am
I’m hoping this is a fictional piece. If not, please hang in there. I’ll promise not to kill MYSELF if you promise not to either.