Tag Archives: meditations

Glass Fist

Originally posted 9/29/2009.

In a world
wracked by anger and justifications
for anger

Glass Fist,

weirdest superhero of our time,

breaks his hands
on yet another villain’s face,
leaving the enemy shredded and wailing
and himself
crippled
yet again.

Back at 
the Fortress of Righteous Anger
his snickering friends watch

as he thrusts his hands 
into the Superkiln
and refashions them once again,
blowing shape back into each finger,
gloving them after they cool.

“What, exactly, is the advantage
of this particular superpower?”
they ask him. “You’re only good
for two shattering blows in any battle
and then we’ve got to save
your sorry ass.”

Glass Fist smiles and bows his head
in assent as they laugh — 

but later, when
he is alone in his lair,
Glass Fist pulls off
the gloves
and the mask.

Stares into his palms —
so clean,
no trace of blood.
His true and naked face
stares back from them
stained by tears,
soaked in doubt.


God’s All Right

Originally posted 8/1/2010.

God’s apparently
a pan-Humanist —
he says,
“these are my people,”
while pointing everywhere
and confounding everyone.
Doesn’t seem interested 
in choosing sides…
mostly, he’s just
content to be God.

Or she is.  
Or they are.

Anyway, God’s all right.
Vaguely Amish,
kinda simple tastes.

Sometimes, though,
God says
fuck it. 
Sometimes
God belly-bumps you
and screams,

“Me dammit —
this place is a mess — 
who built this half assed world?
Who left me out here
without a backup?”

Looks you in the eye
the whole screaming time,
and it’s hard to fall back
on religion for answers 
when God’s
up in your face

with such big questions.


The Rider

While this did come out of an old fragment in an old notebook, there’s also no way around it:  this is a new poem.

Ride a motorcycle
out of a twenty story window
and plummet to the ground below — 
that’s the way to go;
so much

implied backstory, so much 
obvious preparation. Those strangers
unable to mourn such a whacked-out demise
would nonetheless be talking about it
for days,

and those who loved the Rider
would wonder in their sorrow
if indeed this was the best way
to go, if this
was indeed

the obvious final arc
for someone
following their bliss
to its logical
conclusion.

Every death by diving from on high
makes at least one person wonder:
what if they had landed on someone?
Someone else always wonders,
what if they had found themselves able to fly?

Would they have changed their mind?
Imagine putting in
all that work
only to learn
that you are Icarus.

Imagine watching the bike
fall away from under you as you rise, hover,
begin to consider your options,
to imagine what those options
could possibly be.


A Man In Need

Originally posted 3/19/2012.

You look like a man 
in need of a punch
to the side of the head

or a piercing

in the side of the body

You’re looking for something that hurts
Something from the hand of a punk
or a Roman soldier

Something you can add to
your Martyrdom Book

Something as good
for starting a conversation
as any 
suicide attempt
colossal drunk striptease
bad haircut

Something to tell
the LADIES about
over a bottle of tears

You look like a man
in need of a narrative
to put it all into

A man in need
of a rabbit to tear apart for effect
as if the rabbit were an envelope
and the winner’s name was inside

A man in search
of a terrible weakling to be

A man
who knows his disease well enough
to call it up for a ride
when he needs
to get somewhere FAST

A man who’s not going to get
that much needed punch in the head
from this guy
because this guy
has no desire
to help you
win your victim badge 


Attending To Mundane Things

Originally posted 4/27/2009.

Nothing against
palmistry and scrying crystals,
Tarot cards and Zodiac.
All serve the purpose.
It’s their modern monopoly
on divination
that’s troubling.

People act if they couldn’t
find peace and clarity
in the random jumble
of socks in a drawer
or the shadows of skyscrapers 
knifing across downtown streets 
if they tried
when every jammed closet

is a cathedral if you know 
how to pray in it. 

Whenever the ancients and their arts
are called upon
to tell us where we’re heading, 
they must ask themselves,

who are these frightened people
who do not understand how to make do
with what’s right under their noses, cobbling together
a peephole into time from whatever is close at hand?

All we did 
to meet our God 
was add a little attention 
to the mundane.  

Look into our own hands, pick a rock
from the ground and stare into it,
notice a truth when we gambled, 
ask the sky a question and listen.

All we did to meet God
was look for God,
trusting that
we wouldn’t have to look far.


Labor Day

Originally posted 9/5/2011.

The rude elements

have dressed your dirt-blessed hand.
Do not apologize for that —
make the rich ones, the clean ones,

shake it.  Make them look at your face
and see you: 

tired, aging too fast,
forearms threaded and popping:
the result of work.
Force them

to see your clothes, how thin the fabric
on your jeans, the patches, the tears.  

Give them a moment
to take it all in
then smack them

with how you’ve built them
and their multifaceted estates

and holdings.  

Seize their throats
and gently push upon them
the everlasting schedule
of your simplified days —

how each day you rise, sup,
work, sup, work, sup, and sleep,

a routine broken only by the time you steal
to make children, make a home, or
bounce the baby on your greasy knee.

None of the dirt you carry
makes you their sort of unclean.
You deserve a moment of anger
as you count pennies, consider famine,
make do.  

You’re more glue
for this shiny cracked country
than any glitter-fed celebrity

or squinting dollar-breeding usurer,
so make it known.

Grab them one and all by their hands
and make them shake yours — show them
that honest tan under your grime.
If fear is the likely result,

it may be the wedge 
to open the door
they’ve kept barred for so long.
Who better than you
to open it?

It’s only your shoulder,
so long pressed to the wheel,
that can possibly burst that lock.


Angel Food

Originally posted 3/14/2008.

the random blast
one block away
is just a backfire for once

and the neighbor’s reggaeton
ripping a hole in saturday afternoon
seems less loud

when there’s angel food cake
on the coffee table
for yolanda’s birthday

daddy’s home for once
instead of serving someone else’s chicken
to someone else’s guests

mama’s not looking as tired
as she usually does
after a week on the fast food register

the whole family’s here
bearing hot dishes and foil pans
full of what they’ve made for each other

someone drops some mac and cheese
in a corner
the dog gets to work on the pile

while everyone laughs and yolanda claps
her smile’s more delicious than usual
with that smidge of frosting on her chin

yolanda has a love for angels
and seven years worth of joy bubbles up today
for all these angels bearing heaping trays

of cookies and wings and old recipes
they just call “grandma’s favorite”
there’s white bread and stewed tomatoes

but yolanda’s got no business with that
when there’s sweet sugar frosting
clinging to the white crumbs on her plate

outside this room
there may be people addicted to devil’s food
and the darkness on their lips may be rich enough

but in here yolanda’s having a birthday
with her yellow dress sweetened by more
than the smear of angel food that her mother

rushes to clean away before that dog
starts licking it off her
(even though

yolanda
would probably
beat him to it if she let her)

when she’s done
she turns to her sister
and says

something sweet
and a little sad
but a little more full of hope

the words are lost
in the sound
of the beating of wings


City Story

Originally posted 10/13/2009.

— after Gunter Grass;  for Italo Calvino

There is a city, and
there is a man in the city
who is alone.
One hundred eighty thousand people there
but he is alone,
so for his purposes he can say
there is no city.

A man
who is alone in the space
called a city by others
is happy there,
alone and happy.
For his purposes
the space is solitude,
not loneliness.

There is a city, and a man,
and if he sees another man
the man becomes a part of his solitude.
The city now begins to exist for him,
and when the second man is gone
he and the city become memory,
so for his purposes and ours
we must now remember a time
when a city existed,
for that time is not now
as there is solitude in its former place.

The city may now exist somewhere else
and there is likely a man in that city
for whom there is no city, and for whom
only solitude exists, solitude and happiness
at the sight of another whom he sees as
an extension of his solitude.

Here is a city,
here is a man who lives in the city,
moving among memories 
while choosing tomatoes and beer, 
paying rent to an imaginary landlord
who lives elsewhere in the city
that is in fact
a comfortable nest
woven from comfortable fiction.


An Actor Prepares

Originally posted 12/16/2009.

No one photographs him
more than once
after they realize
that the only pictures
that show him happy
show him onstage.
All other images
make him look like
a pillar of salt.
Apparently, to fake
confidence in the future
he requires an audience.

What’s his motivation?
He gave up everything
to gain a spotlight.  But

that smile you see up there
is genuine, if fleeting.
Stick with that.
Next time, use no flash.
Catch him standing there

in his natural setting:
darkness all around,
pretending like mad
that light is the Sun.


UFO

Originally posted 12/26/2009.

They’re scared because they have seen
a delta shaped object
outlined with lights
over their suburban heads

They say
“I don’t know what it was”
but they lie
to themselves

Neither the future
nor the extraterrestrial world

brought these triangles of dread
to the space above their heads

No aliens up there — just
a grand and terrible ghost
come to haunt them
in the shape of the Mississippi Delta

bearing dead history
forgotten languages

rapes and suppression
negation and killing

The slaving
and pillage
of many generations
do not simply disappear

but rise into the common ether
and hover
often unseen
but always there

legacies in the night
making selected random viewers
think of genocide 
send their children inside to hide

They shiver in the air
outside their handsome 
stolen homes
and living standards

and so in partial reparation
for history’s 
extravagant misuse
of darker beings

comes a raising
of fear in the bellies
of those who have not paid it
enough heed


The Kaboodle

Originally posted 3/7/2011.

Sometimes I plods until I stops
like I’m made of gods. I’m walk till drops;

I lose a little ground and then
fall, impounded, anywhen.

See the bloods? Mine, I thinks.
I’m stone that floats until I sinks.

I’m not that mad, just split kaboodle
without a kit.  My bad; I’m doodle

on a napkin all grease and stain.
It’s where I wrap a little brain.

Sharp, isn’t I?  I scissor though
and maybe shed a scrap down low.

Bursty me, shell of once upon.
I’m never dim enough to not be on.

Sometimes I plods and then I stops.
Leave a trail of gloomy plops.

Let this be the Big Reply:
Smile, then weave a bit of die.


Wordplay

Originally posted 3/1/2010.

You create a new word
right after dinner
and send it out to play.

It begins with a “C” and starts out strong
but soon trips over its own round foot
and falls down the stairs. . 

You bend to pick it up
and cradle it to your bosom,
rocking it while it weeps.

You change it into something
that begins with “E.”
And at once it’s all better.

Isn’t this fun? Creating new words
that mean nothing, do nothing
until you give them voice?

You can’t even pronounce these things.
Still, they’re alive because you breathed them.

It’s a nice power to have.

You can do this as well, you know,
with those you claim to love —
say their names as if you were in charge,

re-spell everything that has hurt them,
change the names themselves
if they carry too much weight.


If the only safety you can offer
is to give them new names

in a language you don’t know 

you learn that tongue as fast as you can,
practicing the words
when no one can hear you,

because love
is language 
invented
and held in secret


until you know
with whom
you are meant to speak.


Wider

Originally posted 2/26/2011.  

Most experiences make you deeper.  This one makes you wider.  — from the original liner notes of “Are You Experienced?”

The world broke
into songs
of falling pieces

played loud, tuned
to fragmentation
and eventual reassembly.

“This one makes
you wider,”
said the liner notes.

There still hasn’t been
enough Hendrix
in the air.

We still
lie on our floors,
listening,

certain the next time 
it’ll happen.
This isn’t nostalgia

but re-creation, a second chance
at getting it right
the first time.

Maybe only his world
expanded?  We’re going
to have to listen again

to his boundaries
and our memories
to decide if maybe

we can hear there
a new dawn
rising.

 


Sitting Around

Originally posted 12/13/2012.

No one wants to admit that we peaked at Lascaux.  
No one wants to admit that we were pretty much at our apex
right before the first grain was planted,
before the first lamb was tamed.

It started to fail with the first surveyor
who confidently said
“this plot’s yours, and this plot’s not.”  

No one wants to admit
that we were OK about the God thing
right up to the moment we shook God loose
from a particular geography,
the one outside the hut door.  
Get up every morning, step outside, yawn, stretch…
oh, hello, God.  
Turn another direction, there’s another God.  
Say hi to that one, too.  
That’s how we kept them small enough to manage.

No one wants to admit 
we knew something back then we don’t know now, 
and we don’t even know what it is that we knew.   

No one wants to admit
that it all began to slide
the first time someone paid someone else
to keep Others off their property
and slung one of the names of their God around
as a good excuse for all that spilled blood. 

There are people I know who are activists.   
They think they’re doing something.  They think
they can stop it from coming.
I like them because they keep moving 
now that everyone’s mostly sitting.  
But do they do what’s needed?  

No one can do what’s needed now.  
Not on anything but a small scale,
no matter how grandly we practice.  

When it comes, it won’t be much different than it is now —
miles of abandoned houses,
a lot of rootless people
who left home when their wallets betrayed them.
They’ll leave looking for work.
They’ll leave looking for food and water.

The lawns they leave behind
will remember themselves
and swallow the houses,
making jungly noises as they do.

Soon enough the only thing left will be
a handful of concrete walls
adorned with strange paint
that our distant descendants
will finally have the sense
to adore.

We ought to be moving now
because it is coming,
though it won’t come as tsunami or war,
not at first…no.

It will be as it is now. 


Overpass Banners

Originally posted 7/31/2009.

Overpass banners
in red white and blue lettering
flapping above the commuter traffic:

Welcome home,
Sgt. Orozsco,
Private Kenney,
Major Dent.

Love you,
Corporal Bronson.

Thanks, 
PFC Rodriguez.

I pass under them
almost daily
without much thought.

But then,
one this weekend

with black letters
and black borders
simply said

Sgt. Conroy,

and when I close my eyes
I can still see
how it was fastened tightly
by each corner
to the fence
and did not move at all.