Daily Archives: February 14, 2021

Night-Quiet

The disappearance of light this evening
was a comfort. I’ve fallen out
with the need for engagement, lying here
on the couch with nothing to do
but note every sign of aging
and disabling, no need to hide dismay
or fear. Strangely, I felt none;
it is accounting time. 
For once, no feeling other than
a dispassionate summing up.

Outside the feeders have gone night-quiet.
The usual flocks are somewhere
doing the same slow rebuilding
as I am before the light dares us all
to come back into daytime
where every weakness shall be exposed.
Until then? The couch, the thinking,
the steeling of my own wings
for tomorrow’s flight.


Restoration

how swiftly
untouched
becomes
apparently untouchable
and unloved becomes
utterly unlovable
in our heads and
cores

how easily
another’s invalidation shatters
our own experience of
our own validity

how often
them breaking a window
to escape from us
as if we were on fire
translates into us thinking
what we see in the broken glass —
shards, blood, scraps caught
on the points — is an accurate
mirror for who we are

we must close our eyes
to all that
and chant ourselves back

repeat:
I am not
their wreckage
neither toxic
nor shattered
neither invalid
nor in flames

open your eyes