Originally written 1999.
I want to climb to you
as if you were living in a tree house
and from there look out at the world
from your level
Even though I’m afraid of heights
and would be paralyzed
and clinging like a rug to the floor up there
I would give up safety
to try and see things your way
Pinned down like that
I might have enough time
to learn you
If I could stick a pin into myself
and use it to hold my form intact until the final stitch
or set one pin in place to hold my bones tight
or use one to make holes in my skin
to receive ink for primal tattoos
that would last crudely forever and speak of things
that I will later wish were clearer and sharper
If I could feel the sharpness
of all the pins that could hold me in one place
and through these pains begin to feel things your way
I would
I would fall off a ladder
by slipping on a banana peel
I would open the door
on a cartoon cliff and stand abashed
for just a second
in a canyon of white space
like a temporary Coyote
watching your Roadrunner dust
I would even do impressions of myself
until last call at an empty comedy club —
stop me if you’ve heard this one before
What I want is for you to become a season
(I vote for late spring
so I can anticipate a full summer’s heat whenever you approach)
What I want is to open my eyes in the morning
and immediately adore what I see
(when what I see is you)
What I want is to see your own desire come toward me
and split open a fresh box of white candles
then set them all to burning
What I want has a name
(your name
the only name)
Sometimes when I hear your name
I feel like I’m passing a church on Christmas Eve
and I want to be there
walking with a censer
among the faithful
chanting your name
the only name
your name