Again upon rising I do the simple math
of how many steps I will need today
to get by and through without
drawing the wrong attention
from the right people.
I don’t care about them much as individuals
but I allow their gaze potency,
even when I can only imagine
what of me it brings to their minds.
It was a good sleep, a good dreamless night,
then I woke to this fear as I often do.
I woke to the notion that I am a mistake,
and that this day will pile on
affirmations of that fact
until I fall again into the dark
and manage to forget
who I think I am.