Not Unexpected

there was a sudden problem
it was not unexpected
I was ready
I did not cry 

though flags flew half mast
over shopping malls
and hospitals
government buildings
and schools

a problem
neither obviously
surmountable nor
unexpected

I did not cry

though we walked about
for a long time after
heads down
not listening
glazed over in grief

a problem
neither unexpected
nor unique
to others
nor common
among us
still I did not cry

though it was 
immense in scope
wide and deep and tall
all at once
I did not cry

not unexpected

except for how long after its first appearance
it has lasted
how long its false solutions
have been cast as either/or
how stubbornly it clings
to tiny crevices in all things

I still do not cry
but only because
it appears 
that it has sealed my eyes
clogged me
dessicated me

how unexpected
to have been slowly murdered
by this lack of tears