Red Shade

Close my eyes
and once again
rolling gun-metal gray
spheres intersect seamlessly
rolling through each other
like a sea-surface
on a background of red shade

No meaning in the dream —
how welcome
that always is

Upon waking
though
the spheres become gun barrels
and the first thing I do
in the moment before full awareness
is shove them into my mouth

and again at random times during the day
it happens

unbidden, they appear
and I shove them into my mouth

I am exhausted from the effort
of pushing them away

but to close my eyes and try to rest
is just to begin once again

I do not keep a gun in the house
for this reason

but I’m thinking about it