Ein Jeder Engel Ist Schrecklich (revised)

Ein Jeder Engel Ist Schrecklich

Every angel is terrifying.  — Rilke

Close a door, open a door, write a letter
or make a phone call: endings are easy,
as easy as beginnings.  Small stuff,
actions we take every day
when there’s no potency attached.

What matters, what makes it hard
to end or begin, is the Angel
of Possibility who hovers on the margin
of decision. Who could fly off with us
clutched in her brazen arms
if we choose a false path.

I know too much
of her scarred wings
and fruit-toned breath.
Too many meetings,
too many flights into
sun and stars. Each time
I’ve moved into or out of something,
I have flown with her,
and I am scared of the height
from which I might fall,
or might have fallen.

That any journey
leads to anywhere
is terrifying.
The Angel who carries us
is of little consequence,
but I stay perfectly
still while she floats
at the edge of vision, near the door,

as I pray for my feet
to remain on the ground.