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Flashback Friday

fengi has this idea of reposting old posts on Friday to look back on where he’s been. I like it, and i’m going to do it too, as often as I can remember to do it…

so here’s the first post I ever made here…at least, the first substantial one. I posted 5 times on June 30, 2003; the first four were little techie comments like “Ok, now this one’s from the mail client, kinda cool” and stuff like that.

Here’s the actual first post with any content to it…

So.

Why am I doing this? I mean, hell, I’ve got a weekly column where I sound off regularly on matters poetic, right? Isn’t that enough?

I guess I’m just tired of being on the edge of the national scene…Because I tour so little, and have stepped away from slam as my way of getting out there, I feel like folks “out there” don’t know me all that well.

And I am frankly sad about that. I feel like I’m aging away from performance poetry; not so much from the practice of it, but more from the audience for it. I’m not sexy enough (not in the physically attractive sense, although I don’t fit there much either) to really make my impact from the the opening bell; I’ve got a more measured approach, and that ain’t slam — at least, not anymore.

Selfishly, I want a larger audience for my work…and I’m not getting it through the column, by reading in Worcester with the occasional NYC/NJ/DC appearances, or by going out to CA once every couple of years…and I’m casting about for ways to create it.

Last but not least? Lots of people I respect and care about are here. I want to stay in touch with them.

So, I want to find a way for those of us who are disenchanted with slam (or, more appropriately, those whom slam has become disenchanted with) to continue reaching the audience for performance poetry; and to create a larger one from its periphery.

This is why I’m focusing on things like the smalltown reading I’ve started in my hometown. I someday envision a whole network of them; slowly creating an audience for this work beyond the urban centers; bringing oral performance back into civic life and social ritual from its place as a now fairly commonplace thread in the fabric of modern city life.

That’s why I’m here; that and the occasional fart joke.

Come say hi.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s amazing how little has changed. The column was retired and then came back as a monthly; SPEAK, the small town reading I referred to in the post above, eventually shut down late last year, three years after I gave it up; but all the rest, including the ridiculous angst, is still operative and valid.

Indicating that I am, pretty much, a failure on all counts.

I can’t recall my old Diaryland name or anything, but looking at this means I’m coming up on my fifth anniversary of LJ blogging after 3-4 years of Diaryland blogging. Nearly a decade of blather…and I’m still blathering. You’d think I’d have learned by now to just shut up and fade away.

However, there’s one thing that’s hopeful…the first commenter ever on my LJ was mstegosaurus, and he was followed in rapid succession by insafemode, lowhumcrush, campana, and loudpoet . Some of the usernames have changed, but the people are are still here and still dear. Not sure I’d still be here, in all senses of the word, without these and so many other people.

I guess that’s not a failure of anything at all. Score one, anyway.


Note to friends:

I will be here tomorrow at least some of the time. Feel free to drop me a line.


It’ll be interesting to see

the next poll, after Obama’s speech really sinks in.

http://www.reuters.com/article/politicsNews/idUSN2037834020080320

I suspect Clinton’s lead will grow.

Why?

Because I never underestimate the ability of the American public to run blindly from hard truth. It’s the reason so few people with any power to do something have ever come directly out and said that the Iraq war wasn’t about “misreading intelligence,” or to give up the bullshit about “I’d have done it differently if I knew then what I know now…” No one involved, no one, will just come out and say the truth: that Bush, Cheney, et al, are treasonous liars who knew exactly what they were doing from the beginning and a whole bunch of powerful people bought it wholesale because they wanted to shed a lot more blood in revenge for 9/11.

If this country would just admit to its desire to be all powerful and get away with as much murder and oppression as is needed to keep the majority of us fat and happy, we’d maybe be able to fight that tendency effectively.


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Got Poetry Live tonight…

off the hook, the chain, and the sinker too if there is one anywhere.

New readers. Old readers. Full house. Great feature (Bobby Miller).

Let’s keep this up, shall we?


GotPoetry Live tonight!!!!

We’ve got our second anniversary.

We’ve got Bobby Miller as our feature.

And if you can make it, we’ll have you too.


Observation

Pop culture references in a poem too often serve the need of both the poet and the audience not to have to think too hard.


redemption

most common
among our
shared dreams
is redemption,
one shot at a do-over.

some imagine
it will come through magic,
seeking the hand raised above the hat
where the rabbit waits
for spring and applause.

some refuse to admit it,
but they expect to spy it first
coming hard on the heels of torture.
(too much time spent staring at a cross
can do that.)

some hunt for it
in others,
make their plays for its attention
from a stage or a bed,
reject themselves by projection.

reading, writing, speaking out.
washing dirty laundry in public, or
endlessly chanting sins in private for a fee.
dancing on coals, peering into stones,
swallowing sharp-crusted bread for hunger’s sake;

longing for enough when nothing can be enough.
the past has passed. our arms,
our hands, our mouths will all stop bleeding
eventually, through clot or scar,
or through our lives leading us

to the only honest chance we have:
ashes and dust, reforming into the next body
that will struggle as we have again,
fantasizing that it is
itself it struggles for.

think of that. hear it in yourself:
a call to tenderness.
imagine your self again, and do the simple
purification of not choosing
your own legacy. it will come in its own time.


Storytellers tonight

was a lot of fun. Good food and lots of good poetry and prose on the subject of food.

I read “A Lemon” by Pablo Neruda, and a nasty and lovely little poem about bad poetry (comparing it to shit after a big meal of steamed rice and meat) by the nineteenth/early twentieth century Vietnamese poet Tran Te Xuong. I’ve been reading a lot of older world poetry lately just for kicks.

I also wrote this for the evening — just a little ditty; accompanied it with some guitar. It’s been a LONG time since I wrote something light and relentlessly positive and I wasn’t sure I could do it. I may do more with this at some point, but for now this is enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angel Food

the random backfire
one block away
means nothing for once

and the neighbor’s reggaeton
ripping a hole in saturday afternoon
means even less

when there’s angel food cake
on the coffee table
for yolanda’s birthday

daddy’s home for once
instead of serving someone else’s chicken
to someone else’s guests

mama’s not looking as tired
as she usually does
after a week on the Wendy’s register

the whole family’s here
bearing hot dishes and foil pans
full of what they’ve made for each other

someone drops some mac and cheese
in a corner
the dog gets to work on the pile

while everyone laughs and yolanda claps
her smile’s more delicious than usual
with that smidge of frosting on her chin

yolanda has a love for angels
and seven years worth of joy bubbles up today
with all these angels bearing heaping trays

of cookies and wings and old recipes
they just call “grandma’s favorite”
there’s white bread and stewed tomatoes

but yolanda’s got no business there
when there’s sweet sugar frosting
clinging to the white crumbs on her plate

outside this room
there may be people addicted to devil’s food
and the darkness on their lips may be rich enough

but in here yolanda’s having a birthday
with her yellow dress sweetened by more
than the smear of angel food that her mother

rushes to clean away before that dog
starts licking it off her
(even though

yolanda
would probably
beat him to it if she let her)

and when she’s done
she turns to her sister
and says

I’ll never taste
an angel food cake again
without thinking of yolanda

and the beating of wings
covers
the break in her voice


Coming up at Gotpoetry Live next week (bumped for edit)

Something special. Make your arrangements now! AND: It’s our SECOND ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!

ABOUT BOBBY MILLER

Bobby Miller is a performance poet, actor and photographer. He is the author of three books of poetry; “Benestrific Blonde”, “Mouth Of Jane” and “Rigamarole”. He has been published in many magazines and periodicals including Verbal Abuse, Vice Magazine, UHF Magazine and the Village Voice. He is included in The 1995 American Book Award- winning “Aloud: Voices From The Nuyorican Poets Cafe” ,”Verses That Hurt; Pleasure And Pain From The Poemfone Poets” and “ The Outlaw Bible Of American Poetry”, listed on the top ten Poetry National Bestseller List. Mr. Miller’s book, “Fabulous! A Photographic Diary Of Studio 54” 144 black and white photographs with text was published by St. Martin’s Press in September 1998 is now out of print.

He has collaborated with recording artist DJ Dymetry of the band Dee-Lite on a recording of My Life As I Remember It and can also be heard on Epic Records CD Home Alive with Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Joan Jett, and others.
He has performed his original material at Alice Tully Hall at Lincoln Center, The Whitney Museum, The Smithsonian Institute, New York University, Westminster College, The Rhode Island School of Design, Bennington College, The American Crafts Museum, The New York Historical Society, The Nuyorican Poets Cafe, The 1993, 1995 & 1996 CMJ Music Festivals, Jackie 60/Mother/ NYC, ARO.SPACE/Seattle, The Kitchen, LaMama etc., Dixon Place, P.S.122, Fez, and the 1995, 1996 and 1998 Downtown Arts Festivals in lower Manhattan. He was also in The 1996 National Poetry Slam as a member of The Nuyorican Poets and has performed internationally with poet John Giorno and alone at venues including The Tabernacle, The Battersee Arts Center and The ICA in London and The Glasgow Center For The Arts in Glasgow, Scotland.

He has been seen on television on the PBS program City Arts and the BBC/PBS produced program The Clive James Hour. Mr. Miller also curated and hosted several reading series in NYC including Verbal Abuse, a spoken word evening, the first Sunday of each month at Jackie 60 /Mother: The Nightclub in New York City. Mr. Miller is also the recipient of a Lifetime Achievement Award, four Jackie 60 Awards and a NYC Glamie Award in 1999.
As an actor he has been seen in Forty Deuce and Theatre Couture’s The Bad Weed ’73 and The Final Feast Of Lucrezia Borgia. He is also the author and star of his one man show Bobby Miller, Bobby Miller with two successful runs during Gay Pride month at Here Arts Center/ NYC1998, 1999 and a 2000 run in Provincetown Massachusetts at The UU Theater.

Mr. Miller makes his home in Provincetown, Ma.
Mr. Miller is currently at work on three new books to be released in 2008.

This is going to be fun. Please come out and see this!

GotPoetry Live, March 18, 2008, 7:30 PM
Reflections Cafe/8 Governor Street, Providence, RI
Open mic/2.00 cover!


I knew there was a reason I always liked her best…

Gilligan’s Island star caught with Marijuana

Maybe THAT’s why the ship ran aground…

You gotta love that mugshot.


EXHAUSTED

The class I’m teaching is a group of sharp, funny, and challenging folks. I like that, but I’m beat beyond all imagining. Tonight’s agenda: nap, food, prep for tomorrow, sleep.


Did I mention that I’m in Delaware?

I’m in Delaware. Tonight and tomorrow, coming home late Wednesday. Another couple of days without a lot of socializing, I’m afraid, as I’m prepping for a class tonight. But I’m in Delaware.


Question for the writers:

Do any of you have a literary executor? Is it a legal agreement or just a person you’ve chosen and identified to act on you behalf in regards to your work should you be unable to do it?


Just a note re my poetry

Over the last few years, and more so in the last few months, I’ve been slowly creating an online archive of my favorite original poems over on Gotpoetry.com.

Some are the more popular poems I’ve put out in chapbooks, and/or that have been published and antholgized; a lot of my old slam pieces are there, and some are just pieces I like a lot. I’ll continuing adding to the archive, of course, but there’s a goodly amount of them already.

The link is:

http://www.gotpoetry.com/Poems/l_op=Showpoet/poet=Tony.html

If that doesn’t work for some reason, just search the site’s users under “Tony” and you should find them easily, along with over 20,000 other poems submitted there over the years.

This is my legacy. For me as much as for others.

Visit, or not, as you see fit. Thanks in advance for any attention you may give them, now or in the future.