I Would Have Stopped

If I had known what it would take
to come as far as this,
I would have stopped earlier,
for sure.

But as true as that might be now,
knowing what would come to pass,
would I indeed have stopped —
knowing the result of the traveling,
would I have indeed stopped? Aware
of what it meant, what issues
would have come up at journey’s end?

I know only this —
I would not be here now;
I’d be somewhere else.

Maybe far away,
maybe stationary but right here
still: a little to the left
or a little to the right.

I still would have come,
you know;
I still would be here.

Where else could I go
but here — sitting in a dark living room,
weary as hell but doing this, this
labor of mind over fingers
until no more labor can be borne?
Sitting in the dark and
waiting my turn to rest and
be done.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
onward,
T