To Not Be Me

In one of my last decades now
(do not contradict, I know
where I am on the Path)
and still waiting to grow up.
What does that mean?

I’ve felt the same more or less
since late in the second decade.

They say it to everyone
and maybe it’s specious and
we never do, or we were already
but it scared someone
and so we were told,
over and over, that we were not
yet grown. That we still had
work to do, and we do, and we did,
but nothing really shifted.

I know I’ve walked the Path I was set upon early
and I’ve been much the same
for the whole time I’ve been walking
and I’m still ungrown,
still unseasoned into much
that is different.

So then, into
the last decades, still waiting to say
oh, I see now; I see
what they’ve always wanted from me
(do not contradict, I see clearly now):
to not be me.

About Tony Brown

A poet with a history in slam, lots of publications; my personal poetry and a little bit of daily life and opinions. Read the page called "About..." for the details. View all posts by Tony Brown

2 responses to “To Not Be Me

  • Eileen

    We all want other people to “get” us. But few do, Because most are too busy trying to appear to be what they think others admire. I’ve found mostly the only way I’ve changed is getting freer to be the mix that I am. But, for me that is a major accomplishment. I was always a chameleon….quite good at reflecting the people I was relating to at the time. A friend who is quite intellectual said in front of another friend, “But, Eileen, you’re an intellectual.’ The other friend, a very practical person, immediately snapped back almost angrily, “NO! She isn’t!” They were both right. 🙂

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