Between Us

pretended indifference
to what the tree sheds on my car.
in truth, rage as comprehensive

as any felt toward evil
or avoidable tragedy, which
is the same.  no filter

for fault.  it’s all my fault —
parking the car there, my fault
because I can’t afford a garage.

my fault the weather that kills
and floods and refuses to quench thirst.
my fault darfur.  something will pay

and it’ll likely be me.  my fault too,
that: self-destruction a sin, an incurred cost
of doing my business.  those maple wings

aren’t going anywhere except
between me and my hairshirt.  same with
words regretted, actions untaken that led

to trouble — between itch and rash
they go and when i keep quiet in spite of
the insane sensation i know it shows

on my face and my fingers
and the twitching of my cheek. pretended
indifference fooling only me. everyone else

knows i’m bugging and all because
nature and i are at war because
i can’t tell the difference between us.