pills

every pill, no matter how
familiar, is a mystery until it is
consumed. i live within
a fence of such mysteries.
things change
often enough that surprises
still occur.

take tonight
when you were leaving
and i became sad. i never expected
a pill to make it all better, but still
there was a deluge in me
when your car pulled
away. i went back upstairs
and decided not to take another pill
until morning, letting the natural sadness
wash me.

it will be no surprise
in the morning when i wake up alone.
the next pill may ease that,
or it may not. i’ll only exhale again
when you return, either way.