i’ve only ever seen the first star wars movie.
i’ve never seen any of the x-men movies, and probably won’t.
only saw the first matrix movie.

don’t own a comic book. didn’t buy them as a kid.

don’t read fantasy or SF literature. don’t read much fiction at all, in truth.

have played D&D exactly once, and only long enough to know I wouldn’t be doing that again.

never been involved in any other kind of LARP.

don’t own any multisided dice.

i own one action figure and that’s of Sigmund Freud.

have never owned a video game console of any vintage.

do not currently own or intend to own any video games, or play any such games on my computer.

I was peripherally involved in an online RPG once, but only so I knew what the hell everyone around me was talking about.

never played lazer tag, paintball, killers/targets, etc.

never been to a rave, taken X, or completely understood the appeal of Daft Punk. (I suspect I’m not alone on that last one.)

don’t particularly like NIN.

have never downloaded music, legally or otherwise.

don’t own an iPod, don’t intend to (I detest headphones, earbuds, etc). I do have satellite radio, though.

all this is by way of saying that i am swiftly reaching a point in my life where i will no longer know what anyone around me is talking about.

then again, it’s not like they currently understand me, either.

It’s late, I’m sitting at the keyboard with a half-done poem, and the Smiths are on the radio.

If I wasn’t 46 years old, I’d swear I was 25 years old.

much later than I should be…

Spent a goodly portion of the day digging and planting flowers down at my folks’ house. i had to shlep a large amount of soil from my yard to their yard to do it, and I’m sore and tired as a result — you’d think I’d be sleepy, but no.

I need to put some heavy guitar time later today…a little behind on practice, plus I’ve got a bunch of songs for myainsel to rehearse.

More writing to be done as well — and I’m getting a little nervous because I haven’t got anyone to sign up for the online workshop yet. Lots of “interest” but no “action.” Since it starts on June 11, I’m concerned that I’ll have to cancel the class.

On the other hand, I do have two job interviews next week — one for a fulltime job in Boston that sounds interesting and involves working for a pretty cool company, and the other for a contract position (finally) here in Worcester. I’m psyched for the second and mildly intrigued by the first — still don’t want to go back into fulltime corporate life, but the position’s interesting enough that it might attract me anyway.

Other than all that…it’s same shit, different day. Uncertainty and fear coupled with a sense of possibility…story of my life.

high
low
skreek of alleged tone
wormhole of blank joy
silver charge of beat behind

(I was born too late for prophecy)

reach into shadow and draw from it
porphyry and gneiss
spanish moss from haunted trees

(I am unspent and not even close to power)

drill long liquids into dark
rockets singing on their path
snake of earth gobbling its tail
moorings hammered into atom space
god of war ahead bursting aloud
a blue science of filled vaccuum

(I am unworthy of this roiled air)

these challenge salted pagan revolutions
orbit on turn of equally circular breath

blessings on these children of explosion and fire
blessings on advent of free radicalism
blessings on an a yet unrung bell

(I am wider than I was)

By David Rothenberg, from the Summer 1997 issue of Parabola Magazine:

“The greatest and most enduring music sounds new and familiar at the same time. It should defy division into one thing or another. The whole song that you hear must be impossible to describe, a shadow of words, an outline of the truth.”

my evening of debauchery consisted of:

2 beers at Ralph’s, accompanied by the urge to stand up and yell at one of the bands, “YOU GUYS SOUND LIKE “LIVE” WITHOUT THE HARDCORE STREET CREDIBILITY!!!!” There were also WAY too many kids celebrating their college graduations. Grrr…

followed by —

2 beers at Vincent’s along with a reasonably competent blues band and unexpected conversation with a couple of old guitar buddies I hadn’t seen in years;

followed by —

breakfast at the Kenmore (the Irish Omelette — filled with cornbeef hash and cheese…mmmm…)

followed by —

um, sitting here at the Mac.

I came home aftr three hours out and I wasn’t even tired…I was just fucking BORED with everything. As I said earlier…Grr.

and yet, I’m antsy for something rowdy to do tonight. Which I’ll likely find and end up doing.

We must always remember that I have a serious mental illness, and am heavily medicated. This explains so much of my idiocy.

it’s 1:47 AM and i just checked NASCAR.com to see who has the pole for Saturday’s race.

(it’s Scott Riggs, in case you care.)

dear lord…i’ve become a NASCAR fan.

let’s swap icons. i’ll use your face, you use mine.

ought to confuse the hell out of a bunch of people come nationals.

Jeff Skilling and Ken Lay: guilty.