Just got the mail.
There is an ad in Utne Reader this month for a school that is offering an online course in animal massage.
My friends, the floor is yours. You may begin at any time.
June 18, 2005
Huh???
About Tony Brown
Just got the mail.
There is an ad in Utne Reader this month for a school that is offering an online course in animal massage.
My friends, the floor is yours. You may begin at any time.
Dark Matter 
June 20th, 2005 at 12:22 am
This thread
Rocked my world.
June 20th, 2005 at 12:22 am
This thread
Rocked my world.
June 20th, 2005 at 12:21 am
Re: Posible Course Titles
I want to have your babies. (it hurts to laugh this much)
June 20th, 2005 at 12:21 am
Re: Posible Course Titles
I want to have your babies. (it hurts to laugh this much)
June 19th, 2005 at 11:03 pm
I laughed out loud while reading this and I had food in my mouth. I am;istill giglging hence the inabiltity to type or spell.
June 19th, 2005 at 11:03 pm
I laughed out loud while reading this and I had food in my mouth. I am;istill giglging hence the inabiltity to type or spell.
June 18th, 2005 at 9:48 pm
A weasel? The law, naturally.
June 18th, 2005 at 9:48 pm
A weasel? The law, naturally.
June 18th, 2005 at 9:36 pm
…wow
June 18th, 2005 at 9:36 pm
…wow
June 18th, 2005 at 9:13 pm
What do you think he’d be qualified for?
June 18th, 2005 at 9:13 pm
What do you think he’d be qualified for?
June 18th, 2005 at 9:06 pm
I would massage my ferret, but really, the last thing he needs is to be MORE relaxed. Dang weasel sleeps 20 hours a day, minimum. I start massaging him and he’ll never get up and get a job.
June 18th, 2005 at 9:06 pm
I would massage my ferret, but really, the last thing he needs is to be MORE relaxed. Dang weasel sleeps 20 hours a day, minimum. I start massaging him and he’ll never get up and get a job.
June 18th, 2005 at 8:46 pm
*And the ice water goes splurty all over the screen!*
June 18th, 2005 at 8:46 pm
*And the ice water goes splurty all over the screen!*
June 18th, 2005 at 8:46 pm
*And the ice water goes splurty all over the screen!*
June 18th, 2005 at 8:43 pm
Re: Pets I would not want to massage:
Tarantulas (unless whacking it with a shovel could be considered “massage”)***Spiders are lucky if that’s the toughest love they get. I think you’re being too lenient with them. Shovel? I was thinking more “Low-yield Nuclear Device”***
Ant farm***True. Ants aside, the only way to pet the farm is to buy the farm. You’re too young to buy the farm.***
Japanese fighting fish***Or stonefish, baracuda, great white shark, sea snake, etc…***
Parrot***Tastes just like chicken.***
Chihuahua in heat***Chihuahuas period.***
Rock***There’s a dirty joke here somewhere….***
Hedgehog***See coments re: Chihuahuas…***
Siamese cat***Ehh…I had one once (part-siamese, I guess) that was all black and lacked the obnoxious cry. Shea was the sweetest cat I ever lived with. I miss her.***
Hermit crab***Crab nothing, I don’t want to massage a hermit either…***
Box turtle***More pointless than unpleasant. Snappers however…***
Sea monkeys***SEA MONKEYS ARE NOT PRIMATES, DAMNIT!!!!!!!***
June 18th, 2005 at 8:43 pm
Re: Pets I would not want to massage:
Tarantulas (unless whacking it with a shovel could be considered “massage”)***Spiders are lucky if that’s the toughest love they get. I think you’re being too lenient with them. Shovel? I was thinking more “Low-yield Nuclear Device”***
Ant farm***True. Ants aside, the only way to pet the farm is to buy the farm. You’re too young to buy the farm.***
Japanese fighting fish***Or stonefish, baracuda, great white shark, sea snake, etc…***
Parrot***Tastes just like chicken.***
Chihuahua in heat***Chihuahuas period.***
Rock***There’s a dirty joke here somewhere….***
Hedgehog***See coments re: Chihuahuas…***
Siamese cat***Ehh…I had one once (part-siamese, I guess) that was all black and lacked the obnoxious cry. Shea was the sweetest cat I ever lived with. I miss her.***
Hermit crab***Crab nothing, I don’t want to massage a hermit either…***
Box turtle***More pointless than unpleasant. Snappers however…***
Sea monkeys***SEA MONKEYS ARE NOT PRIMATES, DAMNIT!!!!!!!***
June 18th, 2005 at 8:43 pm
Re: Pets I would not want to massage:
Tarantulas (unless whacking it with a shovel could be considered “massage”)***Spiders are lucky if that’s the toughest love they get. I think you’re being too lenient with them. Shovel? I was thinking more “Low-yield Nuclear Device”***
Ant farm***True. Ants aside, the only way to pet the farm is to buy the farm. You’re too young to buy the farm.***
Japanese fighting fish***Or stonefish, baracuda, great white shark, sea snake, etc…***
Parrot***Tastes just like chicken.***
Chihuahua in heat***Chihuahuas period.***
Rock***There’s a dirty joke here somewhere….***
Hedgehog***See coments re: Chihuahuas…***
Siamese cat***Ehh…I had one once (part-siamese, I guess) that was all black and lacked the obnoxious cry. Shea was the sweetest cat I ever lived with. I miss her.***
Hermit crab***Crab nothing, I don’t want to massage a hermit either…***
Box turtle***More pointless than unpleasant. Snappers however…***
Sea monkeys***SEA MONKEYS ARE NOT PRIMATES, DAMNIT!!!!!!!***
June 18th, 2005 at 7:49 pm
Meow!
A message from the shady kitty cats down at the fish pier…
“Massage my belly! Massage my belly! Massage my belly…so I can bite you!…
Okay, now STOP!”
June 18th, 2005 at 7:49 pm
Meow!
A message from the shady kitty cats down at the fish pier…
“Massage my belly! Massage my belly! Massage my belly…so I can bite you!…
Okay, now STOP!”
June 18th, 2005 at 7:49 pm
Meow!
A message from the shady kitty cats down at the fish pier…
“Massage my belly! Massage my belly! Massage my belly…so I can bite you!…
Okay, now STOP!”
June 18th, 2005 at 7:41 pm
I suppose if I flunked out of online animal massage school I could always get work at one of those shady ‘animal massage parlors’ in the Red Hydrant District down by the fish piers…
June 18th, 2005 at 7:41 pm
I suppose if I flunked out of online animal massage school I could always get work at one of those shady ‘animal massage parlors’ in the Red Hydrant District down by the fish piers…
June 18th, 2005 at 7:41 pm
I suppose if I flunked out of online animal massage school I could always get work at one of those shady ‘animal massage parlors’ in the Red Hydrant District down by the fish piers…
June 18th, 2005 at 7:21 pm
well there it is. it was clearly devised by high-ranking scientologists.
June 18th, 2005 at 7:21 pm
well there it is. it was clearly devised by high-ranking scientologists.
June 18th, 2005 at 7:21 pm
well there it is. it was clearly devised by high-ranking scientologists.
June 18th, 2005 at 7:20 pm
Pets I would not want to massage:
Tarantulas (unless whacking it with a shovel could be considered “massage”)
Ant farm
Japanese fighting fish
Parrot
Chihuahua in heat
Rock
Hedgehog
Siamese cat
Hermit crab
Box turtle
Sea monkeys
June 18th, 2005 at 7:20 pm
Pets I would not want to massage:
Tarantulas (unless whacking it with a shovel could be considered “massage”)
Ant farm
Japanese fighting fish
Parrot
Chihuahua in heat
Rock
Hedgehog
Siamese cat
Hermit crab
Box turtle
Sea monkeys
June 18th, 2005 at 7:20 pm
Pets I would not want to massage:
Tarantulas (unless whacking it with a shovel could be considered “massage”)
Ant farm
Japanese fighting fish
Parrot
Chihuahua in heat
Rock
Hedgehog
Siamese cat
Hermit crab
Box turtle
Sea monkeys
June 18th, 2005 at 6:36 pm
Naughty!
June 18th, 2005 at 6:36 pm
Naughty!
June 18th, 2005 at 6:36 pm
Naughty!
June 18th, 2005 at 6:25 pm
You’re a natural. Sign here.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:25 pm
You’re a natural. Sign here.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:25 pm
You’re a natural. Sign here.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:25 pm
Posible Course Titles
“Stroking The Weasel”
“Clients Who Want Bare-Naked Massage: Should You Panda To Them?”
“When I Asked You To Massage My Pussy, Why Did You Ask Me To Move My Cat?”
“Is That Your Python, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?”
“When Morris Said “Furry”, What He Meant Was….”
Other Animals Heal, But T-Rex”
Do You Know About Beastiality?
No….But If You Humm A Few Bars…”
“Tony’s Tigers Sez ‘GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!!!!!!’ “
June 18th, 2005 at 6:25 pm
Posible Course Titles
“Stroking The Weasel”
“Clients Who Want Bare-Naked Massage: Should You Panda To Them?”
“When I Asked You To Massage My Pussy, Why Did You Ask Me To Move My Cat?”
“Is That Your Python, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?”
“When Morris Said “Furry”, What He Meant Was….”
Other Animals Heal, But T-Rex”
Do You Know About Beastiality?
No….But If You Humm A Few Bars…”
“Tony’s Tigers Sez ‘GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!!!!!!’ “
June 18th, 2005 at 6:25 pm
Posible Course Titles
“Stroking The Weasel”
“Clients Who Want Bare-Naked Massage: Should You Panda To Them?”
“When I Asked You To Massage My Pussy, Why Did You Ask Me To Move My Cat?”
“Is That Your Python, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?”
“When Morris Said “Furry”, What He Meant Was….”
Other Animals Heal, But T-Rex”
Do You Know About Beastiality?
No….But If You Humm A Few Bars…”
“Tony’s Tigers Sez ‘GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!!!!!!’ “
June 18th, 2005 at 6:25 pm
Shiatsu Weasel Technique!!!!
There’s a band name.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:25 pm
Shiatsu Weasel Technique!!!!
There’s a band name.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:25 pm
Shiatsu Weasel Technique!!!!
There’s a band name.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:24 pm
That’s what gets me. The validity of the massage thing not withstanding, the ONLINE piece kills me.
It’s also 1500 bucks.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:24 pm
Ouch, my brain
I’m going to spend the rest of my day thinking about this.
You?
June 18th, 2005 at 6:24 pm
That’s what gets me. The validity of the massage thing not withstanding, the ONLINE piece kills me.
It’s also 1500 bucks.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:24 pm
Ouch, my brain
I’m going to spend the rest of my day thinking about this.
You?
June 18th, 2005 at 6:24 pm
That’s what gets me. The validity of the massage thing not withstanding, the ONLINE piece kills me.
It’s also 1500 bucks.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:24 pm
Ouch, my brain
I’m going to spend the rest of my day thinking about this.
You?
June 18th, 2005 at 6:23 pm
Oh, it’s not the massage part that gets me.
It’s the fact that it’s ONLINE.
Whatdya do…”Rub the cat for five minutes. When you are done rubbing the cat, click here.“
June 18th, 2005 at 6:23 pm
Oh, it’s not the massage part that gets me.
It’s the fact that it’s ONLINE.
Whatdya do…”Rub the cat for five minutes. When you are done rubbing the cat, click here.“
June 18th, 2005 at 6:23 pm
Oh, it’s not the massage part that gets me.
It’s the fact that it’s ONLINE.
Whatdya do…”Rub the cat for five minutes. When you are done rubbing the cat, click here.“
June 18th, 2005 at 6:22 pm
Is there really a living to be made at animal massage? I’ve studied it for years, but I’ve always referred to it as “petting my cat.”
June 18th, 2005 at 6:22 pm
Is there really a living to be made at animal massage? I’ve studied it for years, but I’ve always referred to it as “petting my cat.”
June 18th, 2005 at 6:22 pm
Is there really a living to be made at animal massage? I’ve studied it for years, but I’ve always referred to it as “petting my cat.”
June 18th, 2005 at 6:22 pm
I would also like to point out the ridiculousness of an online course in massage, animals or no animals.
Call me a progressive educator, but there are some things I think should definitely be hands-on learning.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:22 pm
I would also like to point out the ridiculousness of an online course in massage, animals or no animals.
Call me a progressive educator, but there are some things I think should definitely be hands-on learning.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:22 pm
I would also like to point out the ridiculousness of an online course in massage, animals or no animals.
Call me a progressive educator, but there are some things I think should definitely be hands-on learning.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:21 pm
Yum. Hey, do you suppose we’re reading this wrong? Perhaps they teach animals to massage us!
“Ow! Ow! Not so much claw!”
“A little hoof right on my lower… ahh, that’s right.”
Or maybe they teach you how to massage people using animals. Like Shiatzu Weasel Technique or Hot Armadillo or Porcupine Acupuncture.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:21 pm
Yum. Hey, do you suppose we’re reading this wrong? Perhaps they teach animals to massage us!
“Ow! Ow! Not so much claw!”
“A little hoof right on my lower… ahh, that’s right.”
Or maybe they teach you how to massage people using animals. Like Shiatzu Weasel Technique or Hot Armadillo or Porcupine Acupuncture.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:21 pm
Yum. Hey, do you suppose we’re reading this wrong? Perhaps they teach animals to massage us!
“Ow! Ow! Not so much claw!”
“A little hoof right on my lower… ahh, that’s right.”
Or maybe they teach you how to massage people using animals. Like Shiatzu Weasel Technique or Hot Armadillo or Porcupine Acupuncture.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:17 pm
Concept boggles the mind, doesn’t it?
I feel bad for the puppies in the practicum.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:17 pm
Concept boggles the mind, doesn’t it?
I feel bad for the puppies in the practicum.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:17 pm
Concept boggles the mind, doesn’t it?
I feel bad for the puppies in the practicum.
June 18th, 2005 at 6:16 pm
Well, I would call it “tenderizing.”
June 18th, 2005 at 6:16 pm
Well, I would call it “tenderizing.”
June 18th, 2005 at 6:16 pm
Well, I would call it “tenderizing.”