if I remember anything clearly
about us it’s this:
we went stoned to a carnival once
we made love on a grass bed
and the neon behind your shoulders
made me think I was loving the moon
if I could say this
to your face now
I believe you would be
astonished at the comparison
for back then
you did not like poetics
and were as practical
as an assassination
I’m tired
after all these years of wishing for carnivals
after all the meat and dirt of boundary and stink
I say this:
I don’t want to keep dreaming of how
I once made love to the moon
I want to wake up and smell the midway
the fried dough and the sweat of teenagers
I want to slap the gun
from your hand
and run
Dark Matter 
May 31st, 2005 at 7:17 pm
I figured.
May 31st, 2005 at 7:17 pm
I figured.
May 31st, 2005 at 7:17 pm
I figured.
May 31st, 2005 at 7:17 pm
I figured.
May 31st, 2005 at 7:13 pm
Yes…mine too, sadly enough.
May 31st, 2005 at 7:13 pm
Yes…mine too, sadly enough.
May 31st, 2005 at 7:13 pm
Yes…mine too, sadly enough.
May 31st, 2005 at 7:13 pm
Yes…mine too, sadly enough.
May 31st, 2005 at 7:11 pm
I am happy to be reading this. It conjures a tragic history in my head.
May 31st, 2005 at 7:11 pm
I am happy to be reading this. It conjures a tragic history in my head.
May 31st, 2005 at 7:11 pm
I am happy to be reading this. It conjures a tragic history in my head.
May 31st, 2005 at 7:11 pm
I am happy to be reading this. It conjures a tragic history in my head.
May 29th, 2005 at 4:50 am
Re: fantastic
they do…
i must say though, i love that you post all the poetry you do. it makes me happy! i’m a fan.
May 29th, 2005 at 4:50 am
Re: fantastic
they do…
i must say though, i love that you post all the poetry you do. it makes me happy! i’m a fan.
May 29th, 2005 at 4:50 am
Re: fantastic
they do…
i must say though, i love that you post all the poetry you do. it makes me happy! i’m a fan.
May 29th, 2005 at 4:50 am
Re: fantastic
they do…
i must say though, i love that you post all the poetry you do. it makes me happy! i’m a fan.
May 28th, 2005 at 6:44 pm
Re: holy shit
thanks, G.
May 28th, 2005 at 6:44 pm
Re: holy shit
thanks, G.
May 28th, 2005 at 6:44 pm
Re: holy shit
thanks, G.
May 28th, 2005 at 6:44 pm
Re: holy shit
thanks, G.
May 28th, 2005 at 5:47 pm
holy shit
that’s GREAT.
May 28th, 2005 at 5:47 pm
holy shit
that’s GREAT.
May 28th, 2005 at 5:47 pm
holy shit
that’s GREAT.
May 28th, 2005 at 5:47 pm
holy shit
that’s GREAT.
May 28th, 2005 at 1:34 pm
No not at all…I misunderstood you!
As for what happened in between…well, I guess that’s another poem.
May 28th, 2005 at 1:34 pm
No not at all…I misunderstood you!
As for what happened in between…well, I guess that’s another poem.
May 28th, 2005 at 1:34 pm
No not at all…I misunderstood you!
As for what happened in between…well, I guess that’s another poem.
May 28th, 2005 at 1:34 pm
No not at all…I misunderstood you!
As for what happened in between…well, I guess that’s another poem.
May 28th, 2005 at 11:04 am
if I remember anything clearly
about us it’s this:
we went stoned to a carnival once
we made love on a grass bed
and the neon behind your shoulders
made me think I was loving the moon
************************
no, I ment if this is based on a real relationship…. I want to know the inbetween… not in the peom…
I LIKE the poem!
It make me want to know more about the what happened betwen that and the end… the wanting of the romantic stage.
Maybe I can’t express what i mean right.
May 28th, 2005 at 11:04 am
if I remember anything clearly
about us it’s this:
we went stoned to a carnival once
we made love on a grass bed
and the neon behind your shoulders
made me think I was loving the moon
************************
no, I ment if this is based on a real relationship…. I want to know the inbetween… not in the peom…
I LIKE the poem!
It make me want to know more about the what happened betwen that and the end… the wanting of the romantic stage.
Maybe I can’t express what i mean right.
May 28th, 2005 at 11:04 am
if I remember anything clearly
about us it’s this:
we went stoned to a carnival once
we made love on a grass bed
and the neon behind your shoulders
made me think I was loving the moon
************************
no, I ment if this is based on a real relationship…. I want to know the inbetween… not in the peom…
I LIKE the poem!
It make me want to know more about the what happened betwen that and the end… the wanting of the romantic stage.
Maybe I can’t express what i mean right.
May 28th, 2005 at 11:04 am
if I remember anything clearly
about us it’s this:
we went stoned to a carnival once
we made love on a grass bed
and the neon behind your shoulders
made me think I was loving the moon
************************
no, I ment if this is based on a real relationship…. I want to know the inbetween… not in the peom…
I LIKE the poem!
It make me want to know more about the what happened betwen that and the end… the wanting of the romantic stage.
Maybe I can’t express what i mean right.
May 28th, 2005 at 3:25 am
Re: interesting
Well, that’s kind of the point.
I see this poem as a comment about the end of a long burned out relationship, maybe even an abusive one. Lots happened, of course; but what happens after the gun-slap, if that even happened, is anyone’s guess.
May 28th, 2005 at 3:25 am
Re: interesting
Well, that’s kind of the point.
I see this poem as a comment about the end of a long burned out relationship, maybe even an abusive one. Lots happened, of course; but what happens after the gun-slap, if that even happened, is anyone’s guess.
May 28th, 2005 at 3:25 am
Re: interesting
Well, that’s kind of the point.
I see this poem as a comment about the end of a long burned out relationship, maybe even an abusive one. Lots happened, of course; but what happens after the gun-slap, if that even happened, is anyone’s guess.
May 28th, 2005 at 3:25 am
Re: interesting
Well, that’s kind of the point.
I see this poem as a comment about the end of a long burned out relationship, maybe even an abusive one. Lots happened, of course; but what happens after the gun-slap, if that even happened, is anyone’s guess.
May 28th, 2005 at 3:22 am
Re: interesting
not sure anything happened after the love in the green green grass?
Oooo that is….. oh, fuck, that’s too much like life and not poetic at all!
May 28th, 2005 at 3:22 am
Re: interesting
not sure anything happened after the love in the green green grass?
Oooo that is….. oh, fuck, that’s too much like life and not poetic at all!
May 28th, 2005 at 3:22 am
Re: interesting
not sure anything happened after the love in the green green grass?
Oooo that is….. oh, fuck, that’s too much like life and not poetic at all!
May 28th, 2005 at 3:22 am
Re: interesting
not sure anything happened after the love in the green green grass?
Oooo that is….. oh, fuck, that’s too much like life and not poetic at all!
May 28th, 2005 at 3:12 am
Re: interesting
i’m not sure anything happened after. seriously.
May 28th, 2005 at 3:12 am
Re: interesting
i’m not sure anything happened after. seriously.
May 28th, 2005 at 3:12 am
Re: interesting
i’m not sure anything happened after. seriously.
May 28th, 2005 at 3:12 am
Re: interesting
i’m not sure anything happened after. seriously.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:59 am
interesting
I don;t comment on your writing that much….
but….
does make me long for carnavels and makes me want to know more about what happened after.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:59 am
interesting
I don;t comment on your writing that much….
but….
does make me long for carnavels and makes me want to know more about what happened after.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:59 am
interesting
I don;t comment on your writing that much….
but….
does make me long for carnavels and makes me want to know more about what happened after.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:59 am
interesting
I don;t comment on your writing that much….
but….
does make me long for carnavels and makes me want to know more about what happened after.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:37 am
thanks, Rush. I miss you and the pedicab man.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:37 am
thanks, Rush. I miss you and the pedicab man.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:37 am
thanks, Rush. I miss you and the pedicab man.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:37 am
thanks, Rush. I miss you and the pedicab man.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:37 am
thanks…
May 28th, 2005 at 2:37 am
thanks…
May 28th, 2005 at 2:37 am
thanks…
May 28th, 2005 at 2:37 am
thanks…
May 28th, 2005 at 2:37 am
Thanks. I appreciate it when you comment.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:37 am
Thanks. I appreciate it when you comment.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:37 am
Thanks. I appreciate it when you comment.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:37 am
Thanks. I appreciate it when you comment.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:36 am
Re: fantastic
they always seem practical up front, don’t they?
thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:36 am
Re: fantastic
they always seem practical up front, don’t they?
thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:36 am
Re: fantastic
they always seem practical up front, don’t they?
thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:36 am
Re: fantastic
they always seem practical up front, don’t they?
thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:36 am
that’s one vote for the first, one for the last. thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:36 am
that’s one vote for the first, one for the last. thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:36 am
that’s one vote for the first, one for the last. thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:36 am
that’s one vote for the first, one for the last. thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:35 am
Wiseass. thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:35 am
Wiseass. thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:35 am
Wiseass. thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:35 am
Wiseass. thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:35 am
thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:35 am
thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:35 am
thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:35 am
thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:34 am
thank you.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:34 am
thank you.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:34 am
thank you.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:34 am
thank you.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:34 am
Re: me likeee!
A good thought. the gun in the last stanza carries it well enough.
you give great critique. 😀 thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:34 am
Re: me likeee!
A good thought. the gun in the last stanza carries it well enough.
you give great critique. 😀 thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:34 am
Re: me likeee!
A good thought. the gun in the last stanza carries it well enough.
you give great critique. 😀 thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:34 am
Re: me likeee!
A good thought. the gun in the last stanza carries it well enough.
you give great critique. 😀 thanks.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:24 am
me likeee!
This is fantastic. May a recommend a slight cut? I know you’re trying to build with the assassin theme, but I think “of throwing myself
in front of your bullets after all these years of kissing lead” is a bit too much. I think you could go from I’m tired -to- the line about carnivals. Otherwise I feel a little like I’m being hit over the head.
Just a thought.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:24 am
me likeee!
This is fantastic. May a recommend a slight cut? I know you’re trying to build with the assassin theme, but I think “of throwing myself
in front of your bullets after all these years of kissing lead” is a bit too much. I think you could go from I’m tired -to- the line about carnivals. Otherwise I feel a little like I’m being hit over the head.
Just a thought.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:24 am
me likeee!
This is fantastic. May a recommend a slight cut? I know you’re trying to build with the assassin theme, but I think “of throwing myself
in front of your bullets after all these years of kissing lead” is a bit too much. I think you could go from I’m tired -to- the line about carnivals. Otherwise I feel a little like I’m being hit over the head.
Just a thought.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:24 am
me likeee!
This is fantastic. May a recommend a slight cut? I know you’re trying to build with the assassin theme, but I think “of throwing myself
in front of your bullets after all these years of kissing lead” is a bit too much. I think you could go from I’m tired -to- the line about carnivals. Otherwise I feel a little like I’m being hit over the head.
Just a thought.
May 28th, 2005 at 2:05 am
yeah, what they said.
**hug**
May 28th, 2005 at 2:05 am
yeah, what they said.
**hug**
May 28th, 2005 at 2:05 am
yeah, what they said.
**hug**
May 28th, 2005 at 2:05 am
yeah, what they said.
**hug**
May 28th, 2005 at 12:12 am
I really love this.
May 28th, 2005 at 12:12 am
I really love this.
May 28th, 2005 at 12:12 am
I really love this.
May 28th, 2005 at 12:12 am
I really love this.
May 27th, 2005 at 10:52 pm
simply wonderful
May 27th, 2005 at 10:52 pm
simply wonderful
May 27th, 2005 at 10:52 pm
simply wonderful
May 27th, 2005 at 10:52 pm
simply wonderful
May 27th, 2005 at 8:30 pm
fantastic
“as practical as an assassination”
brilliant!
May 27th, 2005 at 8:30 pm
fantastic
“as practical as an assassination”
brilliant!
May 27th, 2005 at 8:30 pm
fantastic
“as practical as an assassination”
brilliant!
May 27th, 2005 at 8:30 pm
fantastic
“as practical as an assassination”
brilliant!
May 27th, 2005 at 8:19 pm
Great poem.
Love the last stanza. 🙂
May 27th, 2005 at 8:19 pm
Great poem.
Love the last stanza. 🙂
May 27th, 2005 at 8:19 pm
Great poem.
Love the last stanza. 🙂
May 27th, 2005 at 8:19 pm
Great poem.
Love the last stanza. 🙂
May 27th, 2005 at 8:12 pm
Did I ever tell you how much I am in awe of your writing skills?
No, well, some day I will. ;p
May 27th, 2005 at 8:12 pm
Did I ever tell you how much I am in awe of your writing skills?
No, well, some day I will. ;p
May 27th, 2005 at 8:12 pm
Did I ever tell you how much I am in awe of your writing skills?
No, well, some day I will. ;p
May 27th, 2005 at 8:12 pm
Did I ever tell you how much I am in awe of your writing skills?
No, well, some day I will. ;p
May 27th, 2005 at 8:12 pm
The first stanza is my fav, and I love it.
May 27th, 2005 at 8:12 pm
The first stanza is my fav, and I love it.
May 27th, 2005 at 8:12 pm
The first stanza is my fav, and I love it.
May 27th, 2005 at 8:12 pm
The first stanza is my fav, and I love it.
May 27th, 2005 at 8:10 pm
Excellent! Wow, the more I read this the more I like it. Well done.
May 27th, 2005 at 8:10 pm
Excellent! Wow, the more I read this the more I like it. Well done.
May 27th, 2005 at 8:10 pm
Excellent! Wow, the more I read this the more I like it. Well done.
May 27th, 2005 at 8:10 pm
Excellent! Wow, the more I read this the more I like it. Well done.
May 27th, 2005 at 6:54 pm
Ok. now I’m done. 😀
May 27th, 2005 at 6:54 pm
Ok. now I’m done. 😀
May 27th, 2005 at 6:54 pm
Ok. now I’m done. 😀
May 27th, 2005 at 6:54 pm
Ok. now I’m done. 😀
May 27th, 2005 at 6:45 pm
Jeez, tonie. You beat me to an edit.
May 27th, 2005 at 6:45 pm
Jeez, tonie. You beat me to an edit.
May 27th, 2005 at 6:45 pm
Jeez, tonie. You beat me to an edit.
May 27th, 2005 at 6:45 pm
Jeez, tonie. You beat me to an edit.
May 27th, 2005 at 6:44 pm
wow.
fuck.
wow.
May 27th, 2005 at 6:44 pm
wow.
fuck.
wow.
May 27th, 2005 at 6:44 pm
wow.
fuck.
wow.
May 27th, 2005 at 6:44 pm
wow.
fuck.
wow.