I still love
every lover I’ve had
I swear
but a fog settles
on my blood
thinking of all of you
at this point you are
mostly mist
to me
I wish I still knew all your names
I wish I still recalled more than a moment
of what we were like together
I claimed to love you all
I claim to love you still
I can’t even see you well
there’s a shadow growing around me
as if a dam that holds back horror
has started to leak
can I truly be a man
if I never remember every one of you?
or I am just playing myself
like an old actor at career’s end
with too many speeches delivered
to recall any one in detail
I pray it’s true that actors are not
responsible
for their characters’ deeds
for if so then
I may be absolved —
and yet, there’s this:
who, exactly, am I then, this hack actor
without portfolio
standing here dreading night?
and who was that who was saying
he loved you? who was that holding you?
who was that man I was pretending to be?
Dark Matter 
February 10th, 2005 at 5:04 pm
quite possible
the most poignant poem from a man about an emotion
so intangible… thank you for giving me faith and
showing such honesty… it was immaculate
February 10th, 2005 at 5:04 pm
quite possible
the most poignant poem from a man about an emotion
so intangible… thank you for giving me faith and
showing such honesty… it was immaculate
February 10th, 2005 at 5:04 pm
quite possible
the most poignant poem from a man about an emotion
so intangible… thank you for giving me faith and
showing such honesty… it was immaculate
February 10th, 2005 at 5:04 pm
quite possible
the most poignant poem from a man about an emotion
so intangible… thank you for giving me faith and
showing such honesty… it was immaculate
February 10th, 2005 at 5:04 pm
quite possible
the most poignant poem from a man about an emotion
so intangible… thank you for giving me faith and
showing such honesty… it was immaculate
February 10th, 2005 at 5:04 pm
quite possible
the most poignant poem from a man about an emotion
so intangible… thank you for giving me faith and
showing such honesty… it was immaculate
February 10th, 2005 at 5:04 pm
quite possible
the most poignant poem from a man about an emotion
so intangible… thank you for giving me faith and
showing such honesty… it was immaculate
February 10th, 2005 at 5:04 pm
quite possible
the most poignant poem from a man about an emotion
so intangible… thank you for giving me faith and
showing such honesty… it was immaculate
February 9th, 2005 at 1:51 am
Loved this stanza in particular:
who, exactly, am I then, this hack actor
without portfolio
standing here dreading night?
February 9th, 2005 at 1:51 am
Loved this stanza in particular:
who, exactly, am I then, this hack actor
without portfolio
standing here dreading night?
February 9th, 2005 at 1:51 am
Loved this stanza in particular:
who, exactly, am I then, this hack actor
without portfolio
standing here dreading night?
February 9th, 2005 at 1:51 am
Loved this stanza in particular:
who, exactly, am I then, this hack actor
without portfolio
standing here dreading night?
February 9th, 2005 at 1:51 am
Loved this stanza in particular:
who, exactly, am I then, this hack actor
without portfolio
standing here dreading night?
February 9th, 2005 at 1:51 am
Loved this stanza in particular:
who, exactly, am I then, this hack actor
without portfolio
standing here dreading night?
February 9th, 2005 at 1:51 am
Loved this stanza in particular:
who, exactly, am I then, this hack actor
without portfolio
standing here dreading night?
February 9th, 2005 at 1:51 am
Loved this stanza in particular:
who, exactly, am I then, this hack actor
without portfolio
standing here dreading night?
February 8th, 2005 at 3:31 am
As if you aren’t busy enough.
Well, file it away. You’d love him, now I’m sure.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:31 am
As if you aren’t busy enough.
Well, file it away. You’d love him, now I’m sure.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:31 am
As if you aren’t busy enough.
Well, file it away. You’d love him, now I’m sure.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:31 am
As if you aren’t busy enough.
Well, file it away. You’d love him, now I’m sure.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:31 am
As if you aren’t busy enough.
Well, file it away. You’d love him, now I’m sure.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:31 am
As if you aren’t busy enough.
Well, file it away. You’d love him, now I’m sure.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:31 am
As if you aren’t busy enough.
Well, file it away. You’d love him, now I’m sure.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:31 am
As if you aren’t busy enough.
Well, file it away. You’d love him, now I’m sure.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:26 am
Thank you.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:26 am
Thank you.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:26 am
Thank you.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:26 am
Thank you.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:26 am
Thank you.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:26 am
Thank you.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:26 am
Thank you.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:26 am
Thank you.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:25 am
Re: Know your rights.
Thank you.
I have not read him. I actually don’t read much fiction these days. Poetry, essays, the occasional short story.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:25 am
Re: Know your rights.
Thank you.
I have not read him. I actually don’t read much fiction these days. Poetry, essays, the occasional short story.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:25 am
Re: Know your rights.
Thank you.
I have not read him. I actually don’t read much fiction these days. Poetry, essays, the occasional short story.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:25 am
Re: Know your rights.
Thank you.
I have not read him. I actually don’t read much fiction these days. Poetry, essays, the occasional short story.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:25 am
Re: Know your rights.
Thank you.
I have not read him. I actually don’t read much fiction these days. Poetry, essays, the occasional short story.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:25 am
Re: Know your rights.
Thank you.
I have not read him. I actually don’t read much fiction these days. Poetry, essays, the occasional short story.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:25 am
Re: Know your rights.
Thank you.
I have not read him. I actually don’t read much fiction these days. Poetry, essays, the occasional short story.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:25 am
Re: Know your rights.
Thank you.
I have not read him. I actually don’t read much fiction these days. Poetry, essays, the occasional short story.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:10 am
Know your rights.
Good, Tony. You seem to know what you’re talking about, and that makes me feel alright.
Have you read Haruki Murakami? I think he is just the best. Feeling you’d be fond of him too.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:10 am
Know your rights.
Good, Tony. You seem to know what you’re talking about, and that makes me feel alright.
Have you read Haruki Murakami? I think he is just the best. Feeling you’d be fond of him too.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:10 am
Know your rights.
Good, Tony. You seem to know what you’re talking about, and that makes me feel alright.
Have you read Haruki Murakami? I think he is just the best. Feeling you’d be fond of him too.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:10 am
Know your rights.
Good, Tony. You seem to know what you’re talking about, and that makes me feel alright.
Have you read Haruki Murakami? I think he is just the best. Feeling you’d be fond of him too.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:10 am
Know your rights.
Good, Tony. You seem to know what you’re talking about, and that makes me feel alright.
Have you read Haruki Murakami? I think he is just the best. Feeling you’d be fond of him too.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:10 am
Know your rights.
Good, Tony. You seem to know what you’re talking about, and that makes me feel alright.
Have you read Haruki Murakami? I think he is just the best. Feeling you’d be fond of him too.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:10 am
Know your rights.
Good, Tony. You seem to know what you’re talking about, and that makes me feel alright.
Have you read Haruki Murakami? I think he is just the best. Feeling you’d be fond of him too.
February 8th, 2005 at 3:10 am
Know your rights.
Good, Tony. You seem to know what you’re talking about, and that makes me feel alright.
Have you read Haruki Murakami? I think he is just the best. Feeling you’d be fond of him too.
February 8th, 2005 at 2:47 am
Re: Much to be said for the elegance.
I thought the same thing at first.
And then, I thought differently about it.
There are moments of self-loathing that come upon you as the result of a catalyzing moment, it’s true; they are even more prevalent, I suspect.
But sometimes, it’s much less. Sometimes, it’s the simple realization that you’ve betrayed your own self image. Something small triggers it.
I should point out, as always, that the speaker here isn’t me; but I have had moments like this. Maybe it’s just the bipolar condition. It doesn’t take much for me to slip into this kind of existential horror.
So I decided to have this guy stay there, in that sudden chasm, precisely because it’s not expected.
February 8th, 2005 at 2:47 am
Re: Much to be said for the elegance.
I thought the same thing at first.
And then, I thought differently about it.
There are moments of self-loathing that come upon you as the result of a catalyzing moment, it’s true; they are even more prevalent, I suspect.
But sometimes, it’s much less. Sometimes, it’s the simple realization that you’ve betrayed your own self image. Something small triggers it.
I should point out, as always, that the speaker here isn’t me; but I have had moments like this. Maybe it’s just the bipolar condition. It doesn’t take much for me to slip into this kind of existential horror.
So I decided to have this guy stay there, in that sudden chasm, precisely because it’s not expected.
February 8th, 2005 at 2:47 am
Re: Much to be said for the elegance.
I thought the same thing at first.
And then, I thought differently about it.
There are moments of self-loathing that come upon you as the result of a catalyzing moment, it’s true; they are even more prevalent, I suspect.
But sometimes, it’s much less. Sometimes, it’s the simple realization that you’ve betrayed your own self image. Something small triggers it.
I should point out, as always, that the speaker here isn’t me; but I have had moments like this. Maybe it’s just the bipolar condition. It doesn’t take much for me to slip into this kind of existential horror.
So I decided to have this guy stay there, in that sudden chasm, precisely because it’s not expected.
February 8th, 2005 at 2:47 am
Re: Much to be said for the elegance.
I thought the same thing at first.
And then, I thought differently about it.
There are moments of self-loathing that come upon you as the result of a catalyzing moment, it’s true; they are even more prevalent, I suspect.
But sometimes, it’s much less. Sometimes, it’s the simple realization that you’ve betrayed your own self image. Something small triggers it.
I should point out, as always, that the speaker here isn’t me; but I have had moments like this. Maybe it’s just the bipolar condition. It doesn’t take much for me to slip into this kind of existential horror.
So I decided to have this guy stay there, in that sudden chasm, precisely because it’s not expected.
February 8th, 2005 at 2:47 am
Re: Much to be said for the elegance.
I thought the same thing at first.
And then, I thought differently about it.
There are moments of self-loathing that come upon you as the result of a catalyzing moment, it’s true; they are even more prevalent, I suspect.
But sometimes, it’s much less. Sometimes, it’s the simple realization that you’ve betrayed your own self image. Something small triggers it.
I should point out, as always, that the speaker here isn’t me; but I have had moments like this. Maybe it’s just the bipolar condition. It doesn’t take much for me to slip into this kind of existential horror.
So I decided to have this guy stay there, in that sudden chasm, precisely because it’s not expected.
February 8th, 2005 at 2:47 am
Re: Much to be said for the elegance.
I thought the same thing at first.
And then, I thought differently about it.
There are moments of self-loathing that come upon you as the result of a catalyzing moment, it’s true; they are even more prevalent, I suspect.
But sometimes, it’s much less. Sometimes, it’s the simple realization that you’ve betrayed your own self image. Something small triggers it.
I should point out, as always, that the speaker here isn’t me; but I have had moments like this. Maybe it’s just the bipolar condition. It doesn’t take much for me to slip into this kind of existential horror.
So I decided to have this guy stay there, in that sudden chasm, precisely because it’s not expected.
February 8th, 2005 at 2:47 am
Re: Much to be said for the elegance.
I thought the same thing at first.
And then, I thought differently about it.
There are moments of self-loathing that come upon you as the result of a catalyzing moment, it’s true; they are even more prevalent, I suspect.
But sometimes, it’s much less. Sometimes, it’s the simple realization that you’ve betrayed your own self image. Something small triggers it.
I should point out, as always, that the speaker here isn’t me; but I have had moments like this. Maybe it’s just the bipolar condition. It doesn’t take much for me to slip into this kind of existential horror.
So I decided to have this guy stay there, in that sudden chasm, precisely because it’s not expected.
February 8th, 2005 at 2:47 am
Re: Much to be said for the elegance.
I thought the same thing at first.
And then, I thought differently about it.
There are moments of self-loathing that come upon you as the result of a catalyzing moment, it’s true; they are even more prevalent, I suspect.
But sometimes, it’s much less. Sometimes, it’s the simple realization that you’ve betrayed your own self image. Something small triggers it.
I should point out, as always, that the speaker here isn’t me; but I have had moments like this. Maybe it’s just the bipolar condition. It doesn’t take much for me to slip into this kind of existential horror.
So I decided to have this guy stay there, in that sudden chasm, precisely because it’s not expected.
February 8th, 2005 at 12:22 am
i REALLY enjoy this.
February 8th, 2005 at 12:22 am
i REALLY enjoy this.
February 8th, 2005 at 12:22 am
i REALLY enjoy this.
February 8th, 2005 at 12:22 am
i REALLY enjoy this.
February 8th, 2005 at 12:22 am
i REALLY enjoy this.
February 8th, 2005 at 12:22 am
i REALLY enjoy this.
February 8th, 2005 at 12:22 am
i REALLY enjoy this.
February 8th, 2005 at 12:22 am
i REALLY enjoy this.
February 7th, 2005 at 10:52 pm
Much to be said for the elegance.
It’s truly excellent up until can I truly be a man / if I never remember every one of you? That one took a while to figure out.
Past that point, I’m not sure I believe what’s happening to the character. This is a radical turn – beyond fleeting nostalgia – towards self-realization, or the realization of the absence of self? Call it what you will, I don’t see a sufficient catalyst for that kind of breakthrough.
February 7th, 2005 at 10:52 pm
Much to be said for the elegance.
It’s truly excellent up until can I truly be a man / if I never remember every one of you? That one took a while to figure out.
Past that point, I’m not sure I believe what’s happening to the character. This is a radical turn – beyond fleeting nostalgia – towards self-realization, or the realization of the absence of self? Call it what you will, I don’t see a sufficient catalyst for that kind of breakthrough.
February 7th, 2005 at 10:52 pm
Much to be said for the elegance.
It’s truly excellent up until can I truly be a man / if I never remember every one of you? That one took a while to figure out.
Past that point, I’m not sure I believe what’s happening to the character. This is a radical turn – beyond fleeting nostalgia – towards self-realization, or the realization of the absence of self? Call it what you will, I don’t see a sufficient catalyst for that kind of breakthrough.
February 7th, 2005 at 10:52 pm
Much to be said for the elegance.
It’s truly excellent up until can I truly be a man / if I never remember every one of you? That one took a while to figure out.
Past that point, I’m not sure I believe what’s happening to the character. This is a radical turn – beyond fleeting nostalgia – towards self-realization, or the realization of the absence of self? Call it what you will, I don’t see a sufficient catalyst for that kind of breakthrough.
February 7th, 2005 at 10:52 pm
Much to be said for the elegance.
It’s truly excellent up until can I truly be a man / if I never remember every one of you? That one took a while to figure out.
Past that point, I’m not sure I believe what’s happening to the character. This is a radical turn – beyond fleeting nostalgia – towards self-realization, or the realization of the absence of self? Call it what you will, I don’t see a sufficient catalyst for that kind of breakthrough.
February 7th, 2005 at 10:52 pm
Much to be said for the elegance.
It’s truly excellent up until can I truly be a man / if I never remember every one of you? That one took a while to figure out.
Past that point, I’m not sure I believe what’s happening to the character. This is a radical turn – beyond fleeting nostalgia – towards self-realization, or the realization of the absence of self? Call it what you will, I don’t see a sufficient catalyst for that kind of breakthrough.
February 7th, 2005 at 10:52 pm
Much to be said for the elegance.
It’s truly excellent up until can I truly be a man / if I never remember every one of you? That one took a while to figure out.
Past that point, I’m not sure I believe what’s happening to the character. This is a radical turn – beyond fleeting nostalgia – towards self-realization, or the realization of the absence of self? Call it what you will, I don’t see a sufficient catalyst for that kind of breakthrough.
February 7th, 2005 at 10:52 pm
Much to be said for the elegance.
It’s truly excellent up until can I truly be a man / if I never remember every one of you? That one took a while to figure out.
Past that point, I’m not sure I believe what’s happening to the character. This is a radical turn – beyond fleeting nostalgia – towards self-realization, or the realization of the absence of self? Call it what you will, I don’t see a sufficient catalyst for that kind of breakthrough.