A certain level of danger is necessary
for a healthy heart. We’ll start with diet:
consider the threatening flavor of butter cookies,
of carpaccio and capers biting the tongue.
Think of the whine of a bullet aimed away from you,
of the first time that wave of sound
cracked back across you
and made you feel strong. (It’s true,
you see, that the one that hits you is almost
always unheard. If you could hear that, it would both
kill you and make you stronger.) Hold a hollow ground
knife to your nose and smell its keen ozone;
you’ll understand everything about the warmth of the body
and where it comes from. You will know how to access it,
if you have need of it — and the knife will remind you of the razor
and the smell will remind you of King Cocaine,
and from the body’s warmth you will descend to a memory of the body’s
cold, cold ways; the stink of sweat and your eyes closing in the corner
of the club, the band yelling the time and the doorman walking toward you…
this is what you did it all for: the chance to prove yourself
against the largest ape in town. The woman you’re with drags you off him,
out to the car, off to a three-decker bedroom with a scarf over the lamp and
posters on the walls. You can still smell her, and all the while your heart
cranks up and lifts you sailing because a little danger is healthy for the heart.
Now you are forty-five, you are tired, there’s a mortgage and a car loan
and a two hour daily commute;
you try to recall the scent of her but she’s gone to someone else,
or died, or changed her name again.
But of course, she is incidental. Some night you think you’ll use her
as an excuse to run. You’ve got the good car now, the money and the means.
You could do it this time without all the danger.
You could fail. You could die. But it’s not likely.
Instead you’ll stay at the desk. You’ll eat like a man, drink like a man,
maybe hit a strip joint on the way home. Toss handfuls of all you’ve got
at your memory. Watch the monster doorman
from the corners of your eyes, your heart not really racing at all.
Dark Matter 
October 12th, 2004 at 6:23 am
Wow…I mean…WOW
You often say that much of your poetry does not necessarily reflect your own life. In this particular case it would appear that this poem could reflect anyone’s life.
You’ve drawn the picture of how youth has allowed us the luxury of indulging in danger so easily. I can feel the parallels in my own life of the “trade-offs” we make as we get older. I think it is inherent in every soul to long for our younger days where having less to lose always seemed to give us more courage.
Bravo, darlin’….wonderful.
October 12th, 2004 at 6:23 am
Wow…I mean…WOW
You often say that much of your poetry does not necessarily reflect your own life. In this particular case it would appear that this poem could reflect anyone’s life.
You’ve drawn the picture of how youth has allowed us the luxury of indulging in danger so easily. I can feel the parallels in my own life of the “trade-offs” we make as we get older. I think it is inherent in every soul to long for our younger days where having less to lose always seemed to give us more courage.
Bravo, darlin’….wonderful.
October 12th, 2004 at 6:23 am
Wow…I mean…WOW
You often say that much of your poetry does not necessarily reflect your own life. In this particular case it would appear that this poem could reflect anyone’s life.
You’ve drawn the picture of how youth has allowed us the luxury of indulging in danger so easily. I can feel the parallels in my own life of the “trade-offs” we make as we get older. I think it is inherent in every soul to long for our younger days where having less to lose always seemed to give us more courage.
Bravo, darlin’….wonderful.
October 12th, 2004 at 6:23 am
Wow…I mean…WOW
You often say that much of your poetry does not necessarily reflect your own life. In this particular case it would appear that this poem could reflect anyone’s life.
You’ve drawn the picture of how youth has allowed us the luxury of indulging in danger so easily. I can feel the parallels in my own life of the “trade-offs” we make as we get older. I think it is inherent in every soul to long for our younger days where having less to lose always seemed to give us more courage.
Bravo, darlin’….wonderful.
October 12th, 2004 at 6:23 am
Wow…I mean…WOW
You often say that much of your poetry does not necessarily reflect your own life. In this particular case it would appear that this poem could reflect anyone’s life.
You’ve drawn the picture of how youth has allowed us the luxury of indulging in danger so easily. I can feel the parallels in my own life of the “trade-offs” we make as we get older. I think it is inherent in every soul to long for our younger days where having less to lose always seemed to give us more courage.
Bravo, darlin’….wonderful.
October 12th, 2004 at 6:23 am
Wow…I mean…WOW
You often say that much of your poetry does not necessarily reflect your own life. In this particular case it would appear that this poem could reflect anyone’s life.
You’ve drawn the picture of how youth has allowed us the luxury of indulging in danger so easily. I can feel the parallels in my own life of the “trade-offs” we make as we get older. I think it is inherent in every soul to long for our younger days where having less to lose always seemed to give us more courage.
Bravo, darlin’….wonderful.
October 12th, 2004 at 6:23 am
Wow…I mean…WOW
You often say that much of your poetry does not necessarily reflect your own life. In this particular case it would appear that this poem could reflect anyone’s life.
You’ve drawn the picture of how youth has allowed us the luxury of indulging in danger so easily. I can feel the parallels in my own life of the “trade-offs” we make as we get older. I think it is inherent in every soul to long for our younger days where having less to lose always seemed to give us more courage.
Bravo, darlin’….wonderful.
October 11th, 2004 at 9:41 pm
Maybe you need a different brand of imagery at the beginning.
E.g., I was sacred of jumping from the roof of my garage
and climbing on a top tree
and that my teacher and parents discover I have no knowledge of mat and geometry
and that my friends will hate me . . .
and those (and other such) things are closer connected to running, escaping, hiding, a woman who is gone.
a woman who is gone — that may be just it
or, maybe, something about thie relation / or her is gone, like her scents are gone from your home and no one yells at yee when you live the toilet set up (this may be too humorous, but think about it as a form of braistorming).
October 11th, 2004 at 9:41 pm
Maybe you need a different brand of imagery at the beginning.
E.g., I was sacred of jumping from the roof of my garage
and climbing on a top tree
and that my teacher and parents discover I have no knowledge of mat and geometry
and that my friends will hate me . . .
and those (and other such) things are closer connected to running, escaping, hiding, a woman who is gone.
a woman who is gone — that may be just it
or, maybe, something about thie relation / or her is gone, like her scents are gone from your home and no one yells at yee when you live the toilet set up (this may be too humorous, but think about it as a form of braistorming).
October 11th, 2004 at 9:41 pm
Maybe you need a different brand of imagery at the beginning.
E.g., I was sacred of jumping from the roof of my garage
and climbing on a top tree
and that my teacher and parents discover I have no knowledge of mat and geometry
and that my friends will hate me . . .
and those (and other such) things are closer connected to running, escaping, hiding, a woman who is gone.
a woman who is gone — that may be just it
or, maybe, something about thie relation / or her is gone, like her scents are gone from your home and no one yells at yee when you live the toilet set up (this may be too humorous, but think about it as a form of braistorming).
October 11th, 2004 at 9:41 pm
Maybe you need a different brand of imagery at the beginning.
E.g., I was sacred of jumping from the roof of my garage
and climbing on a top tree
and that my teacher and parents discover I have no knowledge of mat and geometry
and that my friends will hate me . . .
and those (and other such) things are closer connected to running, escaping, hiding, a woman who is gone.
a woman who is gone — that may be just it
or, maybe, something about thie relation / or her is gone, like her scents are gone from your home and no one yells at yee when you live the toilet set up (this may be too humorous, but think about it as a form of braistorming).
October 11th, 2004 at 9:41 pm
Maybe you need a different brand of imagery at the beginning.
E.g., I was sacred of jumping from the roof of my garage
and climbing on a top tree
and that my teacher and parents discover I have no knowledge of mat and geometry
and that my friends will hate me . . .
and those (and other such) things are closer connected to running, escaping, hiding, a woman who is gone.
a woman who is gone — that may be just it
or, maybe, something about thie relation / or her is gone, like her scents are gone from your home and no one yells at yee when you live the toilet set up (this may be too humorous, but think about it as a form of braistorming).
October 11th, 2004 at 9:41 pm
Maybe you need a different brand of imagery at the beginning.
E.g., I was sacred of jumping from the roof of my garage
and climbing on a top tree
and that my teacher and parents discover I have no knowledge of mat and geometry
and that my friends will hate me . . .
and those (and other such) things are closer connected to running, escaping, hiding, a woman who is gone.
a woman who is gone — that may be just it
or, maybe, something about thie relation / or her is gone, like her scents are gone from your home and no one yells at yee when you live the toilet set up (this may be too humorous, but think about it as a form of braistorming).
October 11th, 2004 at 9:41 pm
Maybe you need a different brand of imagery at the beginning.
E.g., I was sacred of jumping from the roof of my garage
and climbing on a top tree
and that my teacher and parents discover I have no knowledge of mat and geometry
and that my friends will hate me . . .
and those (and other such) things are closer connected to running, escaping, hiding, a woman who is gone.
a woman who is gone — that may be just it
or, maybe, something about thie relation / or her is gone, like her scents are gone from your home and no one yells at yee when you live the toilet set up (this may be too humorous, but think about it as a form of braistorming).
October 11th, 2004 at 9:32 pm
I agree, that’s the operative line.
but in the poem I moved, deliberately, from relatively mild stuff toward more risky behaviors. what I don’t think I did well was make that movement explicit enough; what I call “the line” of the poem is unclear, muddy — I think you can make a poem go anywhere if you make the right connections, and they don’t have to be explict, but they do have to resonate. and I need to work on the resonance.
October 11th, 2004 at 9:32 pm
I agree, that’s the operative line.
but in the poem I moved, deliberately, from relatively mild stuff toward more risky behaviors. what I don’t think I did well was make that movement explicit enough; what I call “the line” of the poem is unclear, muddy — I think you can make a poem go anywhere if you make the right connections, and they don’t have to be explict, but they do have to resonate. and I need to work on the resonance.
October 11th, 2004 at 9:32 pm
I agree, that’s the operative line.
but in the poem I moved, deliberately, from relatively mild stuff toward more risky behaviors. what I don’t think I did well was make that movement explicit enough; what I call “the line” of the poem is unclear, muddy — I think you can make a poem go anywhere if you make the right connections, and they don’t have to be explict, but they do have to resonate. and I need to work on the resonance.
October 11th, 2004 at 9:32 pm
I agree, that’s the operative line.
but in the poem I moved, deliberately, from relatively mild stuff toward more risky behaviors. what I don’t think I did well was make that movement explicit enough; what I call “the line” of the poem is unclear, muddy — I think you can make a poem go anywhere if you make the right connections, and they don’t have to be explict, but they do have to resonate. and I need to work on the resonance.
October 11th, 2004 at 9:32 pm
I agree, that’s the operative line.
but in the poem I moved, deliberately, from relatively mild stuff toward more risky behaviors. what I don’t think I did well was make that movement explicit enough; what I call “the line” of the poem is unclear, muddy — I think you can make a poem go anywhere if you make the right connections, and they don’t have to be explict, but they do have to resonate. and I need to work on the resonance.
October 11th, 2004 at 9:32 pm
I agree, that’s the operative line.
but in the poem I moved, deliberately, from relatively mild stuff toward more risky behaviors. what I don’t think I did well was make that movement explicit enough; what I call “the line” of the poem is unclear, muddy — I think you can make a poem go anywhere if you make the right connections, and they don’t have to be explict, but they do have to resonate. and I need to work on the resonance.
October 11th, 2004 at 9:32 pm
I agree, that’s the operative line.
but in the poem I moved, deliberately, from relatively mild stuff toward more risky behaviors. what I don’t think I did well was make that movement explicit enough; what I call “the line” of the poem is unclear, muddy — I think you can make a poem go anywhere if you make the right connections, and they don’t have to be explict, but they do have to resonate. and I need to work on the resonance.
October 11th, 2004 at 9:24 pm
Thank’s for a vote of confidence. I work very slowly, cause I am very critical about my own stuff, but not fast at all in figuring out how to get to the essence, and in a more poetic way. So, sometimes it takes tens of years (in one case about 30) before I am more or less satisfied.
Re beginning. I’m not sure it’s weakest, cookies and other stuff create some contrast with the rest, so this may be good. But, IMHO, the essence (and all the poem really needs) is this:
Danger is necessary
for a healthy heart:
October 11th, 2004 at 9:24 pm
Thank’s for a vote of confidence. I work very slowly, cause I am very critical about my own stuff, but not fast at all in figuring out how to get to the essence, and in a more poetic way. So, sometimes it takes tens of years (in one case about 30) before I am more or less satisfied.
Re beginning. I’m not sure it’s weakest, cookies and other stuff create some contrast with the rest, so this may be good. But, IMHO, the essence (and all the poem really needs) is this:
Danger is necessary
for a healthy heart:
October 11th, 2004 at 9:24 pm
Thank’s for a vote of confidence. I work very slowly, cause I am very critical about my own stuff, but not fast at all in figuring out how to get to the essence, and in a more poetic way. So, sometimes it takes tens of years (in one case about 30) before I am more or less satisfied.
Re beginning. I’m not sure it’s weakest, cookies and other stuff create some contrast with the rest, so this may be good. But, IMHO, the essence (and all the poem really needs) is this:
Danger is necessary
for a healthy heart:
October 11th, 2004 at 9:24 pm
Thank’s for a vote of confidence. I work very slowly, cause I am very critical about my own stuff, but not fast at all in figuring out how to get to the essence, and in a more poetic way. So, sometimes it takes tens of years (in one case about 30) before I am more or less satisfied.
Re beginning. I’m not sure it’s weakest, cookies and other stuff create some contrast with the rest, so this may be good. But, IMHO, the essence (and all the poem really needs) is this:
Danger is necessary
for a healthy heart:
October 11th, 2004 at 9:24 pm
Thank’s for a vote of confidence. I work very slowly, cause I am very critical about my own stuff, but not fast at all in figuring out how to get to the essence, and in a more poetic way. So, sometimes it takes tens of years (in one case about 30) before I am more or less satisfied.
Re beginning. I’m not sure it’s weakest, cookies and other stuff create some contrast with the rest, so this may be good. But, IMHO, the essence (and all the poem really needs) is this:
Danger is necessary
for a healthy heart:
October 11th, 2004 at 9:24 pm
Thank’s for a vote of confidence. I work very slowly, cause I am very critical about my own stuff, but not fast at all in figuring out how to get to the essence, and in a more poetic way. So, sometimes it takes tens of years (in one case about 30) before I am more or less satisfied.
Re beginning. I’m not sure it’s weakest, cookies and other stuff create some contrast with the rest, so this may be good. But, IMHO, the essence (and all the poem really needs) is this:
Danger is necessary
for a healthy heart:
October 11th, 2004 at 9:24 pm
Thank’s for a vote of confidence. I work very slowly, cause I am very critical about my own stuff, but not fast at all in figuring out how to get to the essence, and in a more poetic way. So, sometimes it takes tens of years (in one case about 30) before I am more or less satisfied.
Re beginning. I’m not sure it’s weakest, cookies and other stuff create some contrast with the rest, so this may be good. But, IMHO, the essence (and all the poem really needs) is this:
Danger is necessary
for a healthy heart:
October 11th, 2004 at 9:02 pm
Stefan, I love when you critique stuff…we seem so different sometimes. I truly appreciate it.
My own feeling is that the poem’s weakest section is the opening!!!! I’d pretty much leave the ending as is, and do a better job linking the abstract opening to the more concrete ending.
October 11th, 2004 at 9:02 pm
Stefan, I love when you critique stuff…we seem so different sometimes. I truly appreciate it.
My own feeling is that the poem’s weakest section is the opening!!!! I’d pretty much leave the ending as is, and do a better job linking the abstract opening to the more concrete ending.
October 11th, 2004 at 9:02 pm
Stefan, I love when you critique stuff…we seem so different sometimes. I truly appreciate it.
My own feeling is that the poem’s weakest section is the opening!!!! I’d pretty much leave the ending as is, and do a better job linking the abstract opening to the more concrete ending.
October 11th, 2004 at 9:02 pm
Stefan, I love when you critique stuff…we seem so different sometimes. I truly appreciate it.
My own feeling is that the poem’s weakest section is the opening!!!! I’d pretty much leave the ending as is, and do a better job linking the abstract opening to the more concrete ending.
October 11th, 2004 at 9:02 pm
Stefan, I love when you critique stuff…we seem so different sometimes. I truly appreciate it.
My own feeling is that the poem’s weakest section is the opening!!!! I’d pretty much leave the ending as is, and do a better job linking the abstract opening to the more concrete ending.
October 11th, 2004 at 9:02 pm
Stefan, I love when you critique stuff…we seem so different sometimes. I truly appreciate it.
My own feeling is that the poem’s weakest section is the opening!!!! I’d pretty much leave the ending as is, and do a better job linking the abstract opening to the more concrete ending.
October 11th, 2004 at 9:02 pm
Stefan, I love when you critique stuff…we seem so different sometimes. I truly appreciate it.
My own feeling is that the poem’s weakest section is the opening!!!! I’d pretty much leave the ending as is, and do a better job linking the abstract opening to the more concrete ending.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:57 pm
I like this:
“If you could hear that, it would both
kill you and make you stronger.)”
This is too abstract —
“you try to recall the scent of her but she’s gone to someone else,
or died, or changed her name again.”
I think a strong image would work better and include all those possibilities.
I think the poem becomes a bit lux towords the end. I think it loses some of it’s energy, so I would focus on the last two/three stanzas.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:57 pm
I like this:
“If you could hear that, it would both
kill you and make you stronger.)”
This is too abstract —
“you try to recall the scent of her but she’s gone to someone else,
or died, or changed her name again.”
I think a strong image would work better and include all those possibilities.
I think the poem becomes a bit lux towords the end. I think it loses some of it’s energy, so I would focus on the last two/three stanzas.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:57 pm
I like this:
“If you could hear that, it would both
kill you and make you stronger.)”
This is too abstract —
“you try to recall the scent of her but she’s gone to someone else,
or died, or changed her name again.”
I think a strong image would work better and include all those possibilities.
I think the poem becomes a bit lux towords the end. I think it loses some of it’s energy, so I would focus on the last two/three stanzas.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:57 pm
I like this:
“If you could hear that, it would both
kill you and make you stronger.)”
This is too abstract —
“you try to recall the scent of her but she’s gone to someone else,
or died, or changed her name again.”
I think a strong image would work better and include all those possibilities.
I think the poem becomes a bit lux towords the end. I think it loses some of it’s energy, so I would focus on the last two/three stanzas.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:57 pm
I like this:
“If you could hear that, it would both
kill you and make you stronger.)”
This is too abstract —
“you try to recall the scent of her but she’s gone to someone else,
or died, or changed her name again.”
I think a strong image would work better and include all those possibilities.
I think the poem becomes a bit lux towords the end. I think it loses some of it’s energy, so I would focus on the last two/three stanzas.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:57 pm
I like this:
“If you could hear that, it would both
kill you and make you stronger.)”
This is too abstract —
“you try to recall the scent of her but she’s gone to someone else,
or died, or changed her name again.”
I think a strong image would work better and include all those possibilities.
I think the poem becomes a bit lux towords the end. I think it loses some of it’s energy, so I would focus on the last two/three stanzas.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:57 pm
I like this:
“If you could hear that, it would both
kill you and make you stronger.)”
This is too abstract —
“you try to recall the scent of her but she’s gone to someone else,
or died, or changed her name again.”
I think a strong image would work better and include all those possibilities.
I think the poem becomes a bit lux towords the end. I think it loses some of it’s energy, so I would focus on the last two/three stanzas.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:19 pm
Re: love it!
Cool analogy. Have to think about that.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:19 pm
Re: love it!
Cool analogy. Have to think about that.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:19 pm
Re: love it!
Cool analogy. Have to think about that.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:19 pm
Re: love it!
Cool analogy. Have to think about that.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:19 pm
Re: love it!
Cool analogy. Have to think about that.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:19 pm
Re: love it!
Cool analogy. Have to think about that.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:19 pm
Re: love it!
Cool analogy. Have to think about that.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:14 pm
Re: love it!
there’s a very updike arguing with springsteen vibe to it. this comibination is unexpectedly satisfying.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:14 pm
Re: love it!
there’s a very updike arguing with springsteen vibe to it. this comibination is unexpectedly satisfying.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:14 pm
Re: love it!
there’s a very updike arguing with springsteen vibe to it. this comibination is unexpectedly satisfying.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:14 pm
Re: love it!
there’s a very updike arguing with springsteen vibe to it. this comibination is unexpectedly satisfying.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:14 pm
Re: love it!
there’s a very updike arguing with springsteen vibe to it. this comibination is unexpectedly satisfying.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:14 pm
Re: love it!
there’s a very updike arguing with springsteen vibe to it. this comibination is unexpectedly satisfying.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:14 pm
Re: love it!
there’s a very updike arguing with springsteen vibe to it. this comibination is unexpectedly satisfying.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:12 pm
Re: love it!
Thanks. Still got some tightening to do.
I’ve got to admit, this recent spurt’s been something to behold for me…not sure what’s driving it, but I’m riding it for all
I’ve got.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:12 pm
Re: love it!
Thanks. Still got some tightening to do.
I’ve got to admit, this recent spurt’s been something to behold for me…not sure what’s driving it, but I’m riding it for all
I’ve got.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:12 pm
Re: love it!
Thanks. Still got some tightening to do.
I’ve got to admit, this recent spurt’s been something to behold for me…not sure what’s driving it, but I’m riding it for all
I’ve got.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:12 pm
Re: love it!
Thanks. Still got some tightening to do.
I’ve got to admit, this recent spurt’s been something to behold for me…not sure what’s driving it, but I’m riding it for all
I’ve got.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:12 pm
Re: love it!
Thanks. Still got some tightening to do.
I’ve got to admit, this recent spurt’s been something to behold for me…not sure what’s driving it, but I’m riding it for all
I’ve got.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:12 pm
Re: love it!
Thanks. Still got some tightening to do.
I’ve got to admit, this recent spurt’s been something to behold for me…not sure what’s driving it, but I’m riding it for all
I’ve got.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:12 pm
Re: love it!
Thanks. Still got some tightening to do.
I’ve got to admit, this recent spurt’s been something to behold for me…not sure what’s driving it, but I’m riding it for all
I’ve got.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:10 pm
love it!
r.e. “You’ve got the good car now”–this is a brilliant and darkly comic line about aging, my friend.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:10 pm
love it!
r.e. “You’ve got the good car now”–this is a brilliant and darkly comic line about aging, my friend.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:10 pm
love it!
r.e. “You’ve got the good car now”–this is a brilliant and darkly comic line about aging, my friend.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:10 pm
love it!
r.e. “You’ve got the good car now”–this is a brilliant and darkly comic line about aging, my friend.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:10 pm
love it!
r.e. “You’ve got the good car now”–this is a brilliant and darkly comic line about aging, my friend.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:10 pm
love it!
r.e. “You’ve got the good car now”–this is a brilliant and darkly comic line about aging, my friend.
October 11th, 2004 at 8:10 pm
love it!
r.e. “You’ve got the good car now”–this is a brilliant and darkly comic line about aging, my friend.