I’ll be posting at odd points today. I’ll just update this entry, so keep checking back.
This is a second draft.
DEPRESSION, OFFHAND
The worst part is the sheer offhandedness of it —
how it happens suddenly not in response
to something obvious like disaster or storm-clouds but as an accessory
to good times, as if a just-acquired bauble was weighing me down.
Then again, the worst part is the sheer offhandedness of it
in the sense of emotional dislocation,
as if I were compelled to use an off-hand
in place of the accustomed one – reaching for the doorknob left-
handed and not right. Of course,
the worst part is the sheer offhandedness of it
in the sense of severed hands, my red stumps thumping
cruelly against the outside door, or finding myself unable
to fasten a bracelet, my arms upraised and helpless,
brandishing the remnants of utility as if the memory of utility alone
was enough to hold onto something.
Off-hand,
I would say the worst part is
the way your grip slips,
regardless
of the hold you use.
Dark Matter 
August 30th, 2004 at 8:39 am
Huh. That’s an interesting point.
It goes against my bottom nature to not connect my metaphors to one another…a way of keeping order in the chaos, perhaps.
Well, they’re back in, I guess — but not the way they were. Horse out of the barn and all.
Thanks.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:39 am
Huh. That’s an interesting point.
It goes against my bottom nature to not connect my metaphors to one another…a way of keeping order in the chaos, perhaps.
Well, they’re back in, I guess — but not the way they were. Horse out of the barn and all.
Thanks.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:39 am
Huh. That’s an interesting point.
It goes against my bottom nature to not connect my metaphors to one another…a way of keeping order in the chaos, perhaps.
Well, they’re back in, I guess — but not the way they were. Horse out of the barn and all.
Thanks.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:39 am
Huh. That’s an interesting point.
It goes against my bottom nature to not connect my metaphors to one another…a way of keeping order in the chaos, perhaps.
Well, they’re back in, I guess — but not the way they were. Horse out of the barn and all.
Thanks.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:39 am
Huh. That’s an interesting point.
It goes against my bottom nature to not connect my metaphors to one another…a way of keeping order in the chaos, perhaps.
Well, they’re back in, I guess — but not the way they were. Horse out of the barn and all.
Thanks.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:39 am
Huh. That’s an interesting point.
It goes against my bottom nature to not connect my metaphors to one another…a way of keeping order in the chaos, perhaps.
Well, they’re back in, I guess — but not the way they were. Horse out of the barn and all.
Thanks.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:36 am
…but I like that they aren’t really supported elsewhere it’s what made me see how disconcerting (to use a mild word) it can be. Why try to make TOO MUCH sense out of an experience that generally doesn’t seem to make sense. I feel it more with those lines in there.
My two cents.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:36 am
…but I like that they aren’t really supported elsewhere it’s what made me see how disconcerting (to use a mild word) it can be. Why try to make TOO MUCH sense out of an experience that generally doesn’t seem to make sense. I feel it more with those lines in there.
My two cents.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:36 am
…but I like that they aren’t really supported elsewhere it’s what made me see how disconcerting (to use a mild word) it can be. Why try to make TOO MUCH sense out of an experience that generally doesn’t seem to make sense. I feel it more with those lines in there.
My two cents.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:36 am
…but I like that they aren’t really supported elsewhere it’s what made me see how disconcerting (to use a mild word) it can be. Why try to make TOO MUCH sense out of an experience that generally doesn’t seem to make sense. I feel it more with those lines in there.
My two cents.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:36 am
…but I like that they aren’t really supported elsewhere it’s what made me see how disconcerting (to use a mild word) it can be. Why try to make TOO MUCH sense out of an experience that generally doesn’t seem to make sense. I feel it more with those lines in there.
My two cents.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:36 am
…but I like that they aren’t really supported elsewhere it’s what made me see how disconcerting (to use a mild word) it can be. Why try to make TOO MUCH sense out of an experience that generally doesn’t seem to make sense. I feel it more with those lines in there.
My two cents.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:23 am
I guess I was trying to do a better job of uniting the metaphors — removing the teeth and the music when they weren’t supported elsewhere in the piece the way the doorknob and the jewelry imagery were.
May show up elsewhere, may come back in.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:23 am
I guess I was trying to do a better job of uniting the metaphors — removing the teeth and the music when they weren’t supported elsewhere in the piece the way the doorknob and the jewelry imagery were.
May show up elsewhere, may come back in.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:23 am
I guess I was trying to do a better job of uniting the metaphors — removing the teeth and the music when they weren’t supported elsewhere in the piece the way the doorknob and the jewelry imagery were.
May show up elsewhere, may come back in.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:23 am
I guess I was trying to do a better job of uniting the metaphors — removing the teeth and the music when they weren’t supported elsewhere in the piece the way the doorknob and the jewelry imagery were.
May show up elsewhere, may come back in.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:23 am
I guess I was trying to do a better job of uniting the metaphors — removing the teeth and the music when they weren’t supported elsewhere in the piece the way the doorknob and the jewelry imagery were.
May show up elsewhere, may come back in.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:23 am
I guess I was trying to do a better job of uniting the metaphors — removing the teeth and the music when they weren’t supported elsewhere in the piece the way the doorknob and the jewelry imagery were.
May show up elsewhere, may come back in.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:09 am
Overall, I like the first version better. What I like in the second version is how you went from “you” to “me”.
I like the line, “no good time was good unless chained to sorrow” and how you make the “sheer off-handedness” refrain it’s own separate stanza.
“brushing teeth backward, and melody and harmony changed about so nothing sounds as it should” that imagery is amazing and I really think you should keep it.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:09 am
Overall, I like the first version better. What I like in the second version is how you went from “you” to “me”.
I like the line, “no good time was good unless chained to sorrow” and how you make the “sheer off-handedness” refrain it’s own separate stanza.
“brushing teeth backward, and melody and harmony changed about so nothing sounds as it should” that imagery is amazing and I really think you should keep it.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:09 am
Overall, I like the first version better. What I like in the second version is how you went from “you” to “me”.
I like the line, “no good time was good unless chained to sorrow” and how you make the “sheer off-handedness” refrain it’s own separate stanza.
“brushing teeth backward, and melody and harmony changed about so nothing sounds as it should” that imagery is amazing and I really think you should keep it.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:09 am
Overall, I like the first version better. What I like in the second version is how you went from “you” to “me”.
I like the line, “no good time was good unless chained to sorrow” and how you make the “sheer off-handedness” refrain it’s own separate stanza.
“brushing teeth backward, and melody and harmony changed about so nothing sounds as it should” that imagery is amazing and I really think you should keep it.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:09 am
Overall, I like the first version better. What I like in the second version is how you went from “you” to “me”.
I like the line, “no good time was good unless chained to sorrow” and how you make the “sheer off-handedness” refrain it’s own separate stanza.
“brushing teeth backward, and melody and harmony changed about so nothing sounds as it should” that imagery is amazing and I really think you should keep it.
August 30th, 2004 at 8:09 am
Overall, I like the first version better. What I like in the second version is how you went from “you” to “me”.
I like the line, “no good time was good unless chained to sorrow” and how you make the “sheer off-handedness” refrain it’s own separate stanza.
“brushing teeth backward, and melody and harmony changed about so nothing sounds as it should” that imagery is amazing and I really think you should keep it.