August 3, 2004

OK — just have to say this.

By Tony Brown

Can I tell you, I’m scared to death to be reading tonight at this event?

Here I am, speaking, reading allegedly meaningful poetry to a group of September 11 family members united for peace.

And I can’t even read a Sept. 11 poem in NYC, three years after the event, because it makes me so insanely upset.

What do I choose? The pieces written in the year following, that speak to the pain and anger? I don’t think so.

Yet the more recent stuff seems wrong for this event.

And the political stuff is just flat out wrong, as they want the event to be decidedly non-partisan.

It’s not just about material choice — it’s also about my state of mind.

I’m not worthy to be there, is the main thing I’m thinking.

Who would be, is the answer I keep getting back.

About Tony Brown

Unknown's avatar
A poet with a history in slam, lots of publications; my personal poetry and a little bit of daily life and opinions. Read the page called "About..." for the details. View all posts by Tony Brown
This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004 at 12:28 pm and posted in uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

45 responses to “OK — just have to say this.”

  • lordrexfear
    August 3rd, 2004 at 12:38 pm

    I’m trying to capture the words proper to propel you. You seem to be fine, but you know how in the quick time I’ve know you how I’ve come to respect and appreciate you so much.

    I am positive you will be amazing and wonderful tonight and do what needs to be done for these folks.

    Reply
  • lordrexfear
    August 3rd, 2004 at 12:38 pm

    I’m trying to capture the words proper to propel you. You seem to be fine, but you know how in the quick time I’ve know you how I’ve come to respect and appreciate you so much.

    I am positive you will be amazing and wonderful tonight and do what needs to be done for these folks.

    Reply
  • lordrexfear
    August 3rd, 2004 at 12:38 pm

    I’m trying to capture the words proper to propel you. You seem to be fine, but you know how in the quick time I’ve know you how I’ve come to respect and appreciate you so much.

    I am positive you will be amazing and wonderful tonight and do what needs to be done for these folks.

    Reply
  • lordrexfear
    August 3rd, 2004 at 12:38 pm

    I’m trying to capture the words proper to propel you. You seem to be fine, but you know how in the quick time I’ve know you how I’ve come to respect and appreciate you so much.

    I am positive you will be amazing and wonderful tonight and do what needs to be done for these folks.

    Reply
  • lordrexfear
    August 3rd, 2004 at 12:38 pm

    I’m trying to capture the words proper to propel you. You seem to be fine, but you know how in the quick time I’ve know you how I’ve come to respect and appreciate you so much.

    I am positive you will be amazing and wonderful tonight and do what needs to be done for these folks.

    Reply
  • radioactiveart
    August 3rd, 2004 at 10:46 am

    I was just explaining that to someone here at work — that every poem I’ve written since then has some of the day embedded in it.

    It’s not a lack of material…it’s more my own commitment to deliver the pieces effectively, without succumbing to my own emotional stuff.

    I think I’ve settled, anyway…something by Sandra McClusky, from the 100 Poets Against the War anthology; Dispatch From the Homefront as suggested by Beverly; and one other, currently untitled. And unfinished, for that matter.

    Thanks, Jeremy.

    Reply
  • radioactiveart
    August 3rd, 2004 at 10:46 am

    I was just explaining that to someone here at work — that every poem I’ve written since then has some of the day embedded in it.

    It’s not a lack of material…it’s more my own commitment to deliver the pieces effectively, without succumbing to my own emotional stuff.

    I think I’ve settled, anyway…something by Sandra McClusky, from the 100 Poets Against the War anthology; Dispatch From the Homefront as suggested by Beverly; and one other, currently untitled. And unfinished, for that matter.

    Thanks, Jeremy.

    Reply
  • radioactiveart
    August 3rd, 2004 at 10:46 am

    I was just explaining that to someone here at work — that every poem I’ve written since then has some of the day embedded in it.

    It’s not a lack of material…it’s more my own commitment to deliver the pieces effectively, without succumbing to my own emotional stuff.

    I think I’ve settled, anyway…something by Sandra McClusky, from the 100 Poets Against the War anthology; Dispatch From the Homefront as suggested by Beverly; and one other, currently untitled. And unfinished, for that matter.

    Thanks, Jeremy.

    Reply
  • radioactiveart
    August 3rd, 2004 at 10:46 am

    I was just explaining that to someone here at work — that every poem I’ve written since then has some of the day embedded in it.

    It’s not a lack of material…it’s more my own commitment to deliver the pieces effectively, without succumbing to my own emotional stuff.

    I think I’ve settled, anyway…something by Sandra McClusky, from the 100 Poets Against the War anthology; Dispatch From the Homefront as suggested by Beverly; and one other, currently untitled. And unfinished, for that matter.

    Thanks, Jeremy.

    Reply
  • radioactiveart
    August 3rd, 2004 at 10:46 am

    I was just explaining that to someone here at work — that every poem I’ve written since then has some of the day embedded in it.

    It’s not a lack of material…it’s more my own commitment to deliver the pieces effectively, without succumbing to my own emotional stuff.

    I think I’ve settled, anyway…something by Sandra McClusky, from the 100 Poets Against the War anthology; Dispatch From the Homefront as suggested by Beverly; and one other, currently untitled. And unfinished, for that matter.

    Thanks, Jeremy.

    Reply
  • jeremyrichards
    August 3rd, 2004 at 10:41 am

    Billy Collins had an astute observation that every poem addresses 9/11 as much as every poem is an affirmation. Still, he says, the subject is like walking into a wave–we can’t approach it directly or it will knock us over.

    With that, Tony, I’d say bring the material that is closest to you, most immediate and affirming, and it will be more powerful than anything partisan or too direct and overwhelmed by its task.

    Reply
  • jeremyrichards
    August 3rd, 2004 at 10:41 am

    Billy Collins had an astute observation that every poem addresses 9/11 as much as every poem is an affirmation. Still, he says, the subject is like walking into a wave–we can’t approach it directly or it will knock us over.

    With that, Tony, I’d say bring the material that is closest to you, most immediate and affirming, and it will be more powerful than anything partisan or too direct and overwhelmed by its task.

    Reply
  • jeremyrichards
    August 3rd, 2004 at 10:41 am

    Billy Collins had an astute observation that every poem addresses 9/11 as much as every poem is an affirmation. Still, he says, the subject is like walking into a wave–we can’t approach it directly or it will knock us over.

    With that, Tony, I’d say bring the material that is closest to you, most immediate and affirming, and it will be more powerful than anything partisan or too direct and overwhelmed by its task.

    Reply
  • jeremyrichards
    August 3rd, 2004 at 10:41 am

    Billy Collins had an astute observation that every poem addresses 9/11 as much as every poem is an affirmation. Still, he says, the subject is like walking into a wave–we can’t approach it directly or it will knock us over.

    With that, Tony, I’d say bring the material that is closest to you, most immediate and affirming, and it will be more powerful than anything partisan or too direct and overwhelmed by its task.

    Reply
  • jeremyrichards
    August 3rd, 2004 at 10:41 am

    Billy Collins had an astute observation that every poem addresses 9/11 as much as every poem is an affirmation. Still, he says, the subject is like walking into a wave–we can’t approach it directly or it will knock us over.

    With that, Tony, I’d say bring the material that is closest to you, most immediate and affirming, and it will be more powerful than anything partisan or too direct and overwhelmed by its task.

    Reply
  • azureoceanlight
    August 3rd, 2004 at 10:20 am

    worthy

    Tony,

    You are absolutely worthy to be there.
    Go with your gut on what to read – I’ve seen
    you many times and for me, I can’t even imagine
    an occasion where your instinct would lead you off course.
    You can do it. And if there’s a fear of losing control of
    your emotions – (and part of me can’t believe that I’M
    saying this) don’t let that hold you back.
    Hope what I’m saying makes sense.

    Reply
  • azureoceanlight
    August 3rd, 2004 at 10:20 am

    worthy

    Tony,

    You are absolutely worthy to be there.
    Go with your gut on what to read – I’ve seen
    you many times and for me, I can’t even imagine
    an occasion where your instinct would lead you off course.
    You can do it. And if there’s a fear of losing control of
    your emotions – (and part of me can’t believe that I’M
    saying this) don’t let that hold you back.
    Hope what I’m saying makes sense.

    Reply
  • azureoceanlight
    August 3rd, 2004 at 10:20 am

    worthy

    Tony,

    You are absolutely worthy to be there.
    Go with your gut on what to read – I’ve seen
    you many times and for me, I can’t even imagine
    an occasion where your instinct would lead you off course.
    You can do it. And if there’s a fear of losing control of
    your emotions – (and part of me can’t believe that I’M
    saying this) don’t let that hold you back.
    Hope what I’m saying makes sense.

    Reply
  • azureoceanlight
    August 3rd, 2004 at 10:20 am

    worthy

    Tony,

    You are absolutely worthy to be there.
    Go with your gut on what to read – I’ve seen
    you many times and for me, I can’t even imagine
    an occasion where your instinct would lead you off course.
    You can do it. And if there’s a fear of losing control of
    your emotions – (and part of me can’t believe that I’M
    saying this) don’t let that hold you back.
    Hope what I’m saying makes sense.

    Reply
  • azureoceanlight
    August 3rd, 2004 at 10:20 am

    worthy

    Tony,

    You are absolutely worthy to be there.
    Go with your gut on what to read – I’ve seen
    you many times and for me, I can’t even imagine
    an occasion where your instinct would lead you off course.
    You can do it. And if there’s a fear of losing control of
    your emotions – (and part of me can’t believe that I’M
    saying this) don’t let that hold you back.
    Hope what I’m saying makes sense.

    Reply
  • radioactiveart
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:55 am

    I don’t know if I can get through it.

    Reply
  • radioactiveart
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:55 am

    I don’t know if I can get through it.

    Reply
  • radioactiveart
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:55 am

    I don’t know if I can get through it.

    Reply
  • radioactiveart
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:55 am

    I don’t know if I can get through it.

    Reply
  • radioactiveart
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:55 am

    I don’t know if I can get through it.

    Reply
  • loudpoet
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:26 am

    Amen.

    If there’s anyone that should be reading at an event like this, I’d say you’re one of a very short list.

    I suspect this is one of those times where your “set list” comes from the gut and in the moment.

    Reply
  • loudpoet
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:26 am

    Amen.

    If there’s anyone that should be reading at an event like this, I’d say you’re one of a very short list.

    I suspect this is one of those times where your “set list” comes from the gut and in the moment.

    Reply
  • loudpoet
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:26 am

    Amen.

    If there’s anyone that should be reading at an event like this, I’d say you’re one of a very short list.

    I suspect this is one of those times where your “set list” comes from the gut and in the moment.

    Reply
  • loudpoet
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:26 am

    Amen.

    If there’s anyone that should be reading at an event like this, I’d say you’re one of a very short list.

    I suspect this is one of those times where your “set list” comes from the gut and in the moment.

    Reply
  • loudpoet
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:26 am

    Amen.

    If there’s anyone that should be reading at an event like this, I’d say you’re one of a very short list.

    I suspect this is one of those times where your “set list” comes from the gut and in the moment.

    Reply
  • brags2bitches
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:26 am

    Dispatch From the Home Front: Halloween 2001

    Reply
  • brags2bitches
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:26 am

    Dispatch From the Home Front: Halloween 2001

    Reply
  • brags2bitches
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:26 am

    Dispatch From the Home Front: Halloween 2001

    Reply
  • brags2bitches
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:26 am

    Dispatch From the Home Front: Halloween 2001

    Reply
  • brags2bitches
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:26 am

    Dispatch From the Home Front: Halloween 2001

    Reply
  • marced4life
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:13 am

    This right here…

    speaks volumes to me about just how worthy you are to do something like this. May it be an evening of gifts given and gifts received.

    Reply
  • marced4life
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:13 am

    This right here…

    speaks volumes to me about just how worthy you are to do something like this. May it be an evening of gifts given and gifts received.

    Reply
  • marced4life
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:13 am

    This right here…

    speaks volumes to me about just how worthy you are to do something like this. May it be an evening of gifts given and gifts received.

    Reply
  • marced4life
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:13 am

    This right here…

    speaks volumes to me about just how worthy you are to do something like this. May it be an evening of gifts given and gifts received.

    Reply
  • marced4life
    August 3rd, 2004 at 9:13 am

    This right here…

    speaks volumes to me about just how worthy you are to do something like this. May it be an evening of gifts given and gifts received.

    Reply
  • sapience
    August 3rd, 2004 at 8:39 am

    Come, they told me
    pa rum pum pum pum
    A newborn king to see
    pa rum pum pum pum
    Our finest gifts we bring
    pa rum pum pum pum
    To lay before our king
    pa rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum

    So to honor him
    pa rum pum pum pum
    When we come

    Little baby
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I am a poor boy, too
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I have no gift to bring
    pa rum pum pum pum
    That’s fit to give a king
    pa rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum

    Shall I play for you
    pa rum pum pum pum
    On my drum?

    Mary nodded
    pa rum pum pum pum
    The ox and lamb kept time
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I played my drum for him
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I played my best for him
    pa rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum

    Then he smiled at me
    pa rum pum pum pum
    Me and my drum

    Bring them a moment of joy, Tony. Your songs are worthy.

    Reply
  • sapience
    August 3rd, 2004 at 8:39 am

    Come, they told me
    pa rum pum pum pum
    A newborn king to see
    pa rum pum pum pum
    Our finest gifts we bring
    pa rum pum pum pum
    To lay before our king
    pa rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum

    So to honor him
    pa rum pum pum pum
    When we come

    Little baby
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I am a poor boy, too
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I have no gift to bring
    pa rum pum pum pum
    That’s fit to give a king
    pa rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum

    Shall I play for you
    pa rum pum pum pum
    On my drum?

    Mary nodded
    pa rum pum pum pum
    The ox and lamb kept time
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I played my drum for him
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I played my best for him
    pa rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum

    Then he smiled at me
    pa rum pum pum pum
    Me and my drum

    Bring them a moment of joy, Tony. Your songs are worthy.

    Reply
  • sapience
    August 3rd, 2004 at 8:39 am

    Come, they told me
    pa rum pum pum pum
    A newborn king to see
    pa rum pum pum pum
    Our finest gifts we bring
    pa rum pum pum pum
    To lay before our king
    pa rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum

    So to honor him
    pa rum pum pum pum
    When we come

    Little baby
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I am a poor boy, too
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I have no gift to bring
    pa rum pum pum pum
    That’s fit to give a king
    pa rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum

    Shall I play for you
    pa rum pum pum pum
    On my drum?

    Mary nodded
    pa rum pum pum pum
    The ox and lamb kept time
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I played my drum for him
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I played my best for him
    pa rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum

    Then he smiled at me
    pa rum pum pum pum
    Me and my drum

    Bring them a moment of joy, Tony. Your songs are worthy.

    Reply
  • sapience
    August 3rd, 2004 at 8:39 am

    Come, they told me
    pa rum pum pum pum
    A newborn king to see
    pa rum pum pum pum
    Our finest gifts we bring
    pa rum pum pum pum
    To lay before our king
    pa rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum

    So to honor him
    pa rum pum pum pum
    When we come

    Little baby
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I am a poor boy, too
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I have no gift to bring
    pa rum pum pum pum
    That’s fit to give a king
    pa rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum

    Shall I play for you
    pa rum pum pum pum
    On my drum?

    Mary nodded
    pa rum pum pum pum
    The ox and lamb kept time
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I played my drum for him
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I played my best for him
    pa rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum

    Then he smiled at me
    pa rum pum pum pum
    Me and my drum

    Bring them a moment of joy, Tony. Your songs are worthy.

    Reply
  • sapience
    August 3rd, 2004 at 8:39 am

    Come, they told me
    pa rum pum pum pum
    A newborn king to see
    pa rum pum pum pum
    Our finest gifts we bring
    pa rum pum pum pum
    To lay before our king
    pa rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum

    So to honor him
    pa rum pum pum pum
    When we come

    Little baby
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I am a poor boy, too
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I have no gift to bring
    pa rum pum pum pum
    That’s fit to give a king
    pa rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum

    Shall I play for you
    pa rum pum pum pum
    On my drum?

    Mary nodded
    pa rum pum pum pum
    The ox and lamb kept time
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I played my drum for him
    pa rum pum pum pum
    I played my best for him
    pa rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum
    rum pum pum pum

    Then he smiled at me
    pa rum pum pum pum
    Me and my drum

    Bring them a moment of joy, Tony. Your songs are worthy.

    Reply

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