For everyone who finds spring less than completely hopeful.
DIALOGUE
I tell her,
late winter and early spring can
really take a toll on your
optimism and belief in sweat equity: you survived
this long by expecting you’ll get relief
for making it through
the dark months. that’s
arrogant, she says; all you can
hope for is that you’ll
keep breathing
until the wind turns
lukewarm.
I respond that days like this
can hurt worse than february’s worst
knife. just as the crocus starts to pierce through,
you give up and admit that you long for bloodshed,
a drunken fight in a dive bar,
or a sudden burst of deadly lust
that carries you into a strange bed through a broken
window and from there into oblivion; every bad impulse
to self-immolation breaks out as if you were
a ruptured pod. but
it’s not self-pity, she says,
to describe a heart as broken
if it is broken, a fallen hope as
fallen if it has yet to hit the
ground; what you don’t get to do, she says,
is marinate
in the description until
you’re tender.
I want to reach for her
and explain something
I don’t fully understand: that I think we are
not that far apart. all that bloodlust in me
is just a way of acting the same thing she is saying —
but
there are shadows among my fingers
that leave me cold. there are bones
hidden in my flesh that I’ve never noticed.
I’m afraid the sun
won’t ever break through to warm them.
if I try to touch her,
I may shatter.
Dark Matter 
March 30th, 2004 at 10:30 am
Re: Thanks.
Nope. Gotta taste and hear it first.
But thank you.
March 30th, 2004 at 10:30 am
Re: Thanks.
Nope. Gotta taste and hear it first.
But thank you.
March 30th, 2004 at 9:51 am
for me the poem really picks up steam as we enter the second paragraph…”just as the crocus starts to pierce through you give up and admit you long for bloodshed…”
i was slow to become involved with the first paragraph. after that you have me all the way. and i agree about the last line. a preference for something specific that shatters rather than just “something else”
i really like it though. it has a blood warmth to it. digging in the dirt, that newly loosened soil as it were.
rcw
March 30th, 2004 at 9:51 am
for me the poem really picks up steam as we enter the second paragraph…”just as the crocus starts to pierce through you give up and admit you long for bloodshed…”
i was slow to become involved with the first paragraph. after that you have me all the way. and i agree about the last line. a preference for something specific that shatters rather than just “something else”
i really like it though. it has a blood warmth to it. digging in the dirt, that newly loosened soil as it were.
rcw
March 30th, 2004 at 5:29 am
Re: wow
That’s all I can say as well…’WOW’
(Bowing at Tony’s feet)
March 30th, 2004 at 5:29 am
Re: wow
That’s all I can say as well…’WOW’
(Bowing at Tony’s feet)
March 29th, 2004 at 7:14 pm
the self-immolation/pod passage
is startlingly good…rather than counter-punching against spring imagery you’re using judo logic! that is, spring is the time of things bursting forth, and so using its own energy and momentum to counter the lockstep conformity view of spring = happiness is wonderful!
saw this post earlier and thought well, i’ll wait till i’m home and settled in and the kids are crashed and i can read it and let it sink in, and now i’m glad i did. beautiful.
March 29th, 2004 at 7:14 pm
the self-immolation/pod passage
is startlingly good…rather than counter-punching against spring imagery you’re using judo logic! that is, spring is the time of things bursting forth, and so using its own energy and momentum to counter the lockstep conformity view of spring = happiness is wonderful!
saw this post earlier and thought well, i’ll wait till i’m home and settled in and the kids are crashed and i can read it and let it sink in, and now i’m glad i did. beautiful.
March 29th, 2004 at 3:44 pm
oh, Tony – you understand me too well.
thank you
March 29th, 2004 at 3:44 pm
oh, Tony – you understand me too well.
thank you
March 29th, 2004 at 2:31 pm
Re: Thanks.
You just got on a “stage” and tested it, and it works.
Just trying to point obvious.
March 29th, 2004 at 2:31 pm
Re: Thanks.
You just got on a “stage” and tested it, and it works.
Just trying to point obvious.
March 29th, 2004 at 2:30 pm
work on imagery, Tony.
You have a true raw power at the end, but iwonder
1) how it would work if you throw in something concrete there (instead of “something else will shatter”); I’m not sure it’s a good idea, but I would try it to see how it works
2) also, see whether you could build in more imagery at the beginning, you have a pretty general (abstract) dialog going on there but maybe you could throw in more imagery there, show something that really is dying at Spring and create a frame with the ending.
March 29th, 2004 at 2:30 pm
work on imagery, Tony.
You have a true raw power at the end, but iwonder
1) how it would work if you throw in something concrete there (instead of “something else will shatter”); I’m not sure it’s a good idea, but I would try it to see how it works
2) also, see whether you could build in more imagery at the beginning, you have a pretty general (abstract) dialog going on there but maybe you could throw in more imagery there, show something that really is dying at Spring and create a frame with the ending.
March 29th, 2004 at 2:11 pm
wow
this is awesome!
March 29th, 2004 at 2:11 pm
wow
this is awesome!
March 29th, 2004 at 2:02 pm
Thanks.
I need to tweak it a bit, sharpen the imagery and get on stage with it in order to test it, but I do like it so far.
March 29th, 2004 at 2:02 pm
Thanks.
I need to tweak it a bit, sharpen the imagery and get on stage with it in order to test it, but I do like it so far.
March 29th, 2004 at 1:54 pm
Ooooooooh I love this!!!!!!
March 29th, 2004 at 1:54 pm
Ooooooooh I love this!!!!!!