weird one

These memes of late seem more intense, somehow…

Mark the ones true for you with an “x”.

(_) I never have been drunk
( ) I never have smoked pot
(_) I never have kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) I never have kissed a member of the same sex
(X) I never crashed a friend’s car
(X) I never have been to Japan
(_) I never ridden in a taxi
(_) I never had anal sex
(_) I never have been in love
( ) I never had sex
( ) I never have had sex in public
(_) I never have been dumped
(_) I never shoplifted
(X) I never have been fired
(_) I never have been in a fistfight
(X) I never had a threesome
(_) I never snuck out of my parents’ house
(X) I never have been tied up
(X) I never have been caught masturbating
(_) I never pissed on myself
(X) I never pissed on someone else
(X) I never had sex with a member of the same sex
(_) I never have been arrested
(_) I never made out with a stranger
(X) I never stole something from my job
(X) I never celebrated New Year’s in Times Square
(_) I never went on a blind date
(_) I never lied to a friend
(X) I never had a crush on a teacher
(X) I never celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans
( ) I never have been to Europe
(_) I never skipped school
( ) I never slept with a co-worker
( ) I never cut myself on purpose
( ) I never had sex at the office
( ) I’ve never been married
(x) I’ve never been divorced (well…that’s complicated…)
( ) I never had sex with more than one person within the same week
(X) I never have posed nude (cough)
(x) I never got someone drunk just to have sex with them
(_) I never cheated on a significant other (ehhh, it’s a toss up)
(X) I never had sex with my boss
(X) I never have eaten snake meat
(X) I never jumped out of an airplane
(X) I have never been to a nudist event
( ) I never had a permanent residence outside of the state I was born in
(_) I never have ridden an elephant
(_) I have never made out with someone whose name I did not know at the time
(_) I have never had intercourse (anal or vaginal) without a condom.
( ) I never have smoked weed out of a beer can
(X) I never left someone at the altar
(x) I’ve never stalked someone.
(X) I never tried to blind someone
(_) I have never stripped someone against their will and thrown them out into public. (Long story.)
( ) I’ve never done a substance stronger than alchohol or weed
(_) I’ve never killed an animal or person on purpose.
(X) I’ve never had phone sex.
(X) I’v never been naked hot tubbing
(x) I’ve Never had sex with a horse!
(X) I’ve never watched cartoon porn
(_) I’ve never eaten a squirrel
(x) I’ve never been to africa
(_) I have never shaved my head
(_) I have never opened a keg before
(_) I have never vomitted with a distance of about 6 feet.
(X) I have never cussed out my boss, thrown my badge on the ground and stormed out screaming “I quit!”
(_) I have never eaten cat food.
(_) I have never used heroin.
—
(X) = You’ve never.
(_) = You have.
Add one of your own at the end.