If I’m ever given another name,
if they ever do fix the world,
I’ll be “Tony Wow-I-Got-That-Wrong.”
(I hope I get that one.)
If the activists ever make a difference,
“Tony Sad Old Bitterface.” If they don’t,
“Tony I-Wish-I-Didn’t-Have-To-Say-It-
But-I-Told-You-So.”
I am “Tony Do-You-Think-I-Asked-
For-This-Role?” I am assigned to
the dark chatter;
every people needs one. I am also
“Tony Longs To Fit In.”
I’m not happy to have to be this,
but it’s what I was given. It’s
“Tony Afraid Of Smiling,” “Tony
Fucking Grump,” “Tony
Not With The Program.”
In fact, I’m “Tony Contrary.”
I don’t care what you say, I’m
officially, sacredly, not that. The popular response,
of course, is to pull optimism
close and keep it away from me.
Good, because that’s the nature
of the job. You like to say
hey, we’re all responsible for our own
happiness, we’re all allowed that,
a negative attitude is its own punishment —
wrong. That’s just wrong.
I’m responsible for your happiness
and my negative attitude is your reward.
Everyone needs the dark chatter,
though no one will acknowledge it…Long ago
I had the dream of the thunderbird
and the clap of his stone wings
has muffled my ears to the brightness.
Carried this name, “Tony-Not-Ready-To-Agree,”
ever since…You go ahead and critique this,
you pursuit of happiness junkies, you perpetual
chasers of the perfect wave; it’s not like
I don’t understand or even want to be like you —
I do. That’s part of the role; you yearn for a new name
even as you’re living up to your own.
I’m your backside to the mirror, call me
“Tony Blockhead,” “Tony Virus,”
“Tony Everything-You-Don’t-Want-To-Hear.”
It doesn’t matter what is and is not true.
Someone has to say these things. Someone
has to test the rule.
Dark Matter 