Tag Archives: poetry

May 15, 2014

Global Village

By Tony Brown

Here’s the myth
of the new global village
exposed in a single fact:

if all you know of me
is what I post and
what part of that you see,

when I die in real life
and stop posting
anywhere

you might not notice
for a week or two,
you might twinge

just a bit at my absence,
maybe a bit more if you then learn
why I’m gone,

and then, I know
you’ll forget me
soon enough.

No memorial, no stone,
no tomb to keep me
vibrant for you for a long time —

oh, perhaps you’ll recall
a line or a picture,
a word or a comment,

but as for knowing my scent
or smile or touch — was I ever,
could I ever have been

real to you if you never saw
anything of me past
what I decided you should see?

How is this
different
from how it once was?

Forgetting each other
has become
as easy as

meeting each other
across oceans
and continents,

though knowing each other
is as hard
as it as always been.

Leave a comment | tags: meditations, poems, poetry, the hard stop | posted in poetry

May 14, 2014

Swinging Doors

By Tony Brown

A visionary
beyond the swinging Doors
signals to me
that from that side
he sees me
as I should be.

I tell myself it won’t be
a momentous occasion
at all to
walk through them
to meet him.
Without fanfare, without
ceremony, I step before him
and ask what it was he saw
back there before
I crossed over
to this space.

He explains
that it can’t possibly be
of any import now
for me to know that
since I’m on the side of the Doors
where the Angel Of Redefinition lives
and the nature of the passage
is that you are no longer who you were
before you came through.

When I demand to know anyway,
to have a complete explanation
for that past,
he shoos me back through
to wait my next turn.

Through fear
and a stubborn insistence
upon certainty
regarding my identity
I have lost
an opportunity to be
new,
and now I’m stuck here rueing
the desperation that drove me
to strand myself
in the muck of what
I’ve always been.

3 Comments | tags: meditations, poems, poetry, the hard stop | posted in poetry

May 13, 2014

Angry Again

By Tony Brown

Angry at old women
whispering their racist views
in the checkout line at the store.

Angry at myself
for putting my head in my hands
while listening to them.

Angry that I did nothing
because of bone fatigue
and a fear of my own harshness.

Angry again, switched to
default position: impotent
anger. I put my head

back into my hands and weep
that what I am, I despise
and what I despise most, I have become.

2 Comments | tags: meditations, poems, poetry, the hard stop | posted in poetry

May 12, 2014

Someday A Lullaby

By Tony Brown

in my throat
urgent profanity

my hands soaked with
imminent murder

in my chest
a blown up hammer

my feet itching to
run toward sea to cool me

to keep me from
ruining myself but

how can I live
with such feelings left unused

they are so
necessary to my blood

they set my blood singing
like nothing else

in this world that so often
elicits anger

anger is truth
to be lived

and when a sage
says otherwise

says anger is unnatural
understand

that sage is
a fool

who likely enjoys
a peace attained

by rolling over
and playing death

like some untuned harp
loosely twanging

anger being a key which
when turned adds tension

to such strings
as are needed to lend

a volume to songs
hymns to a longing

to shift ground underfoot
of those seeking

to turn this all to shit —
and so curses rise in me

and fingers curl
toward palms

and feet prepare
to lash out

because some songs
must be sung

in battle
if you want to stay alive

long enough to sing instead
someday a lullaby

Leave a comment | tags: meditations, poems, poetry, rage, the hard stop | posted in poetry

May 12, 2014

Cafe Gospel

By Tony Brown

Dropped into a
small coffee shop
run by good friends
to see what was up
that day…

there were two Gods
with no obvious gender
on a corner outside
working miracles
for small cash.

Another One
watched them
suspiciously — written
on His face this question:
how could any de-gendered
Deity be? He stayed miserable
inside his car.

Found inside
a holy set of patrons
and there among them
yet another miniature God
having a cup of Yrgacheffe.
I took a seat and
spied upon Her
as she set about
changing things
in this one tiny world
She controlled,

then when she’d paid and left
stood and applauded my friends
for building a Heaven,
a Home
so easily attained.

Easy enough to bring
a deity to believe in here,
they replied, if you leave
your doors open
at odd hours
and stop judging
who shows up
and what shape
they take — I mean,

just look at yourself,
they said.
Go ahead. It isn’t
blasphemous
to see yourself here,
belonging here.

It sounded
like what was needed,
like a Gospel,
like good,
good news.

I sat back down,
stayed a while longer.

2 Comments | tags: god, meditations, poems, poetry, the hard stop | posted in poetry

May 12, 2014

Stunted

By Tony Brown

If I’ve left anything unsaid
to anyone who wanted
certain words from me,
certain expressions
on my face,
certain raised eyebrows
or upturned lips,
I offer my sorrow for
those omissions;
my apologies

for having held back,
having depended
upon context to do
my duty for me, having been
paralyzed again and again
into a taciturn and morose
stick figure of a man, a thick
mistaken figure of a man;
my apologies

for not permitting
those small reserves
of joy I held within
to seep out,
to leak into my face
and tint my space
in this dim world
more often with you,
more freely among you;
my apologies

for this offering
which comes too little, too late
for some, I am certain,
I offer no excuse for it
or explain it other than to say
forgive me,

somewhere what I learned
of manhood
cloaked me in shadow
and now, at last,
I see how this
has stunted me
and held me apart
from too many
for too long.

2 Comments | tags: meditations, poems, poetry, the hard stop | posted in poetry

May 9, 2014

Class Warfare: Opening Shot

By Tony Brown

You drive your big car
up to your big house.
I look through the window
after you’re inside
and see
your mink’s
been tossed
onto the chair —
damn, a mink coat?
Such an archaic tell —
don’t you
understand cruelty,
don’t you hear
the people’s disapproval,
or are you just too rich
to feel?

You and yours
are a problem to solve.
I and mine
won’t solve a thing
if we don’t choose
a little war from the tool kit.

I hate you, if possible,
even more
than I did before I spied
that coat.

I shall box you,
bury you in filth, then
bury your coat
in clean soil.

I’m going to feel alright
afterward. A little right death
never costs that much

at first,

we’re just getting started,

and I’m sure that
unlike you,
we can stop anytime.

4 Comments | tags: meditations, poems, poetry | posted in poetry

May 8, 2014

The Darkness This Time

By Tony Brown

during a process
a mistake
a break in routine
a darkness falls again
into my life
a stone of pure gloom
I know well

as that rock strikes
it hurts to breathe
as always the air goes crisp
and sharp

I am no Stoic

if there’s something
to be learned
from the darkness
this time
I must plead
for it to be
soft learning this time
let it be
a gentle lesson
let there be
no pain
no pain
at all

Leave a comment | tags: meditations, poems, poetry | posted in poetry

May 8, 2014

Urge

By Tony Brown

As soon as I can
I’ll strike the tent,
douse the flames,
set out on the path.
With the moon’s slant light
through the trees
to walk by
and stream beds
to lead me down
from the hills,
I will not be lost
once on the way.

I will step out of the woods
to the edge of a place
I once left in rage.

What will come next?

I can’t help it —
I must find out.
When this is in me
I can’t help but move
the way moths
strike at a hot light;

this time
I may come
to the same end
as a moth,

but as I said,
it can’t be helped.

1 Comment | tags: meditations, poems, poetry | posted in poetry

May 6, 2014

The Divide

By Tony Brown

I want to go
to the top of that range
of mountains.

I want to look back
at my climb and be
satisfied, if not happy,
that I’ve gotten that far.

I want to look
along the crest
to the north and then the south,
to the mist at either extreme
where the peaks disappear
into distance.

I want to stare with longing
for a good while
at the other side
of the divide.

Above all I want the chance
to stand
upon the divide itself,

and to choose
whether to go
north, south,
back where I came from,
or into that far country
where I’ve never been.

Leave a comment | tags: meditations, poems, poetry | posted in poetry

May 5, 2014

More Than Full

By Tony Brown

I give my devotion
to an ecstasy induced
by observing how

the surface tension of water
poured carefully
into a small glass

allows the top of the water
to dome slightly
above the lip, thus

revealing itself as neither half full
nor half empty but
more than full

as physical law works wonders
without requiring a suspension
of all I know.

Here’s the fingerprint
of a God I can desire:
Gaia allowing for astonishing things

without regard for my particular
presence. My observation
and ecstasy are beside the point;

my place under Gaia’s skin
is not mine to decide. Whether I delight
in being here or not is irrelevant.

What matters is not
that my glass is more than full,
but that what allows it to be so

also allows the water beetles
and skippers to stand out there
on the pond like tiny Saviors

as if it were the most natural
thing in the world
to walk on water.

Leave a comment | tags: god, meditations, poems, poetry | posted in poetry

May 4, 2014

Product Placement

By Tony Brown

If I tell you
I’m sadly listening to
the music of
my favorite band,
is that enough
for you to see
all I’m driving at,
or must I
name them? If I do
will you then have
enough information
that I can avoid
the hard work of
writing this poem?

If I tell you
I wear nothing
with a logo unless
it’s second hand
but will talk all day
about the brands
of guitar and computer
I prefer, and do not
hide their logos
when using them in public,
does that explain
my corner of
our bubble well enough,
or do I have to name
the logos I won’t wear
and the logos I will embrace
in order for you to have
a peak experience
from my work?

If I lament
art based in
product placement
ironically enough,
am I sufficiently distant
from the practice
that you’ll allow me
to drop a name or two
as an anchor
to sink it? Or will I have to
write this all again
two years from now
in order to get the juicy nods
from those sage enough
to understand

that the calculation required
to rage this way against marketing
is in and of itself

a brand?

Leave a comment | tags: humor, poems, poems about poetry, poetry | posted in poetry

May 3, 2014

Nation

By Tony Brown

when in the course of human events
it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve
the marrow from their own bones

spooning it as filler into holes in the ground
perhaps sneaking a taste if properly prepared
spreading it to dry to dust in sunlight

when in the course of human events
it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve
those empty bones that cannot hold them upright

once hollowed and lessened those bones shatter
people then limp along accustomed paths
stagger and tumble
slipping upon melted pools of themselves

when in that course of events
we humans gather to share our fears
we always light a fire

last night we talked until late of our best intentions
rose as the fire burned down
tossed the last combustibles into the embers
watched them flare up and light green eyes
watching from the forest beyond the edge of the yard

we said

technically
those are our people too
better for us that they stay over there on the edge of the yard
beyond the edge of the light from the dying fire
when they’re over there we can make them into whatever we want
but when the fire dies they’ll be able to define themselves
we may not be included in their self-definition
for the sake of the nation and all that we call holy
let’s not let the fire die

when the fire died
we limped inside
on our splinted ankles
our self shattered bones
the taste of our marrow
on our own lips

we listened to the tumult in the dark
the sound of parade and carnival
and took one secret moment
to admit we were justly accused
and also glad
for the celebration outside
and the dawn it portended
even as we feared it
in what was left of
our porous bones

Leave a comment | tags: meditations, poems, poetry, politics | posted in poetry

May 1, 2014

First Time You Heard

By Tony Brown

did you fall before the strings
stopped humming? Did you fall
to your lowdown dirty knees and
cry while you were down there?
Did you wrap your arms around it
and beg for more?

Did you call that a prayer?
Did you call it a single hymn
or a whole hymnal’s worth
of a crawl toward glory?
Did you stop to think that blues
was as much a song of Paradise
as any grand chorus?

Did you start to
imagine that heaven wasn’t on high
but rooted in the rich soil? Did you ever
think that God is as deep
as Deep Ellum, carries us
like a freight train carries
secret travelers, can bend a note
like an ocean bends the shore,
and when the last note stops humming
you’re always going to fall on your knees,

for the blues isn’t really a devil’s method —

if it was how could it wake up your soul
again and again
one twelve bar run at a time?

1 Comment | tags: meditations, poems, poetry | posted in poetry

April 30, 2014