Author Archives: Tony Brown

About Tony Brown

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A poet with a history in slam, lots of publications; my personal poetry and a little bit of daily life and opinions. Read the page called "About..." for the details.

Walker

so far so good
along the path.

brambles and
broken glass.

enough sting
to the stroll.

enough blood
on my ankles.

no view yet
of another end.

still, so far
so narrow.

wrong steps
are part of this.

falling
is de rigeur.

crawling’s
fashionable. 

drunk on nettles
and crowns,

I move along
now close to blind

from thorns
at my eyes.

still, so far.
good has little

to do with passage now.
it’s stubbornness.

I want to see
what destination’s

worth this.
worth scrabbling this long

and this far.  what good
comes of it.  what’s good

about it.
what it is. 


Not This Year

not this year
no
I will let go
I will face planes and towers falling
say
yes to friends lost there
and no to
being told
ordered
compelled to recall
every damn detail
in service to
overwrought agendas

how many houses
in how many countries have fallen
and no one remembers them

how many terrors are there
to tame

how many names unspoken
on bitter tongues

no exceptions

mourn the dead long enough
you mourn yourself into the holes
left behind
it’s a long climb out

I am climbing

damn the demand for excruciating recall
I want to forget everything
except how my friends smiled
and that all over the world
for far longer than ten years
everyone else has always known
death makes no exceptions
for the flags people die under


Waiting For The Fall

The livestock
and pets
won’t rest,  
and I can’t sleep myself.

Got no mail again today —
it’s like there’s no one left
who cares to write
or even to try and sell me stuff.

It’s a beautiful world, but it feels 
like it’s ready to drown —
something in the sky
wants to come down.

I can’t help but think about  
what Lucifer must have looked like when he fell —
from the right, ruined and hideous;
from the left, resembled an angel still.

What’s so obvious to look at now?
I don’t trust my eyes.
Two sides to every story: good side,
bad side, and both are becoming lies.

 


The Only Useful Indian Is A Dead One

There’s a body
in this lovely spiritual book,
pressed flat between
pages 138 and
139.

From the clothing
it’s old news.
From the color
of the face,
it’s no one worthy of
investigation. 

An old murder, then,
long forgotten.  The author
must have needed
credibility and then
abandoned the deceased.
It’s likely
no one
was meant to discover it.
Instead, it was likely
a source to be
concealed.  Stupidly,
an assumption was made

that the text itself
would render it invisible.
After all, reading the book
reveals that whatever
the dead told the author
was changed
for marketing purposes
and stripped of 
context.

If you pick up
enough books on
our histories and 
cultures, you’ll find
a lot of these corpses.
Par for the course,
business as usual,
the way of the world —
kill ’em all,
let the consumers
sort them out,
hope they don’t notice
the stink
and the stained pages.
Any mourning
is left to us —

the ones
who learned how to live
less obviously.  Who just
live.  Who aren’t compressed
and dried and mere
bookmarks in dishonest
funeral guestbooks.  Who still breathe
rage and spit memory of
how many of us
ended up
like this, and how few readers
will pause
between pages 138 and 139
to notice
the body
when its shadow
crosses their minds.

 


The Church Of Small Engine Repair

No narrative
makes a difference
when you are repairing an engine
and reach the One Nut
that will not budge.  No wrench,
no socket, no logic or physical law
makes sense then —

here is the need
for the Sublime in your life 
condensed to sweat and
bloody knuckles.

What you need to happen
is obvious, no known tool
will make it happen,  
and all you can do is sit
and supplicate
for holy intervention. 

Is it funny?
Is it tragic? Does it require
beer and momentary
abandonment of your good sense
to face it?  Nothing’s

off limits
now
that what is supposed to happen
doesn’t.  Thank
something for the chance

and sit back down in front of the engine
until some wizardry arrives. 


Poem For A Moralist To Reject

Willingly un-inspired
by the morning, I’m
not above sleeping it out
entirely,

hoping for a damn fine
afternoon once the day’s
early fumblings have resovled
into something more defined;

who needs the worms
those efficient birds work for,
anyway?  I’ve seen worms
at all hours of the day

and night, and the competition
falls off dramatically
later on, once all the obvious ones
are taken.   

The full round of the day
is too often neglected.
I prize it all, and do my best work
when there are not millions

with whom to contend.  So I sleep in,
sometimes alone, sometimes not,
and seem to do perfectly well.
If I am missing something,

it is nothing I feel I am missing. 


Why Art Sometimes Is Suspect

An artist was asked,

if your next work
was guaranteed
to save the world
but would also mean
that you could produce
no more,
would you stop?

The reply:

Let it go
to hell.  
They’ll need me

more
in the aftermath. 


Shuffle

Apparently,
I exploded
overnight.
My hands cling to
opposite walls
of the bedroom.
My eyes are so far apart,
everything’s in focus
at once on the back screen
of my far-flung brain
which I think is in
a neighbor’s kitchen.
My torso’s still
inert in my bed, though.
I’m afraid to try
my legs on the floor
when I can’t see or feel them —
they may be elsewhere
in the house or in
an adjacent yard,
out of range for the moment.
Strangely I feel no pain
and can’t recall a thing
of how this happened — 
last I knew I was sleeping
to music — qawaali or flamenco
or a Brooklyn based band
with delicate senses
cased in Marshall stacks —
I don’t know, some random mix
sent by stream-gods who
just put it on shuffle and left
for new pastures.
I’m coming awake now
parsing my luck,
trying to understand
how I’ve become at once piecemeal
and sanely whole
in a land that just wants
clean streets and no parts
strewn about 
to make the citizens uneasy
in their current orientation. 

 


Mad Skills

Put the same old notes
in a new order
and you’ll have
mad rock and roll skills.

Pile the same old notes
in a tall stack, then give it
enough of a shove
that it almost falls over
and you’ll have
mad jazz skills.

But put some notes no one knows
in either a stack or an order
and they’ll call you mad,
though you may not feel that way.

Or find one note
and sing it, play it,
hum with it, live in it —
yes, madness, yes,
you won’t even know you’re mad
unless you agree with them.

Don’t agree with anyone.
Maybe you found the note
all those skittering guitar hands
were seeking.  Maybe you blew
the note that none of the horns
ever blew.  Maybe you’re not
mad enough yet
to be called skilled —
maybe it’s all too new
for it to be known how you did it
yet,

but don’t agree with them.
Instead, blow mad, pick mad.
Hum like a lobotomy saw
and see what happens,
see who starts humming with you.
Mad skills, you see,
take their time in fruiting.

 


AK-47

You can find it
on album covers, gang-scare
TV shows, and woven into the pattern
of rugs from Central Asia.

It hovers in flocks, always,
over the heads
of media-blast images
of happy revolutionaries.

Shall we say someday — perhaps today —
that it appears to be
more ubiquitous than doves,
or as holy to some

as the tongues of
Pentecostal flames?
It’s
a gun, after all;

a deadly weapon.  A simple,
easy, nearly unjammable,
swiftly reproducible
weapon.  As common,

it seems, as any
means necessary;
as useful, it seems,
as any other work of our hands.

 


Dogs

Ahroooo…
can you deny 
the wolf in you
speaks of car chases
and torn hair in the windshield glass?
That it longs for the  flavor
of heart-meat?

Grrr…
How lively to be
the ravening horde.  
How chastened
some dogs are in their pens
by the existence of wolves,
who howl as if to say 

this is at once what you were
and might have been.  

Woof…
Don’t shrink back from it —
is there no taste for blood in you?

Lapdogs remember, why don’t you?
American dogs, why don’t you?  In deserts
and old capitals, they bark wilder than you
and you’re not even ashamed…

ahrooooooo… 

 


Dark Dance

I may be
dark dance,
but I do
somewhat move.

I might be
sick with trance,
but I am
not altogether unmoved —

even muscles stiff as this
have memory
of twitching and start
pulsing, so slowly

that to see them
one might think of corpse
or perhaps coma. But
they’re not —

can’t explain
how they think
of these things:
my brain isn’t theirs,

but they do.  And thus
my back against this wall,
tarantella-charged.
I am not unmoved,

merely sunk in, dark dance 
wallflower before ordinary
ecstasies of quotidian
minuet.  It’s just this:

I seek frenzy again
as I once knew it,
and this, I see,
is not. 


Moving The Body

Here is rigor mortis
of tendon — see
how much board there is now
in the planked body.

How
much rod,
how little child here.
Years of the cane
have tricked out
this hide. All 
the old
is showing.

The dull-brassy,
wear-beaten
body of life’s work
is stretched
here on the blank of bed,
waiting for the attendants
to arrive.

Words knotted
tight in every throat
as family watches
progress of the last care:
the One stripped,
cleaned, gurneyed out to 
black hearse on black asphalt
waiting to black out across
black-rained roads to parlor
and prep.

She was too young for this,
they say.
But not in fact:  after all,
death just means
it’s time.  And her time before
this death
was hard. 

After, all linger.
Won’t move just yet,
in deference
to stiffness witnessed
shortly ago.  

When they leave, at last
the old house
built of good wood
is again empty.

 


That Found Key

That found key
argues
for a missing lock.

There is the whole
of knowledge:
that any one thing
leads to another.

When they are
put together, 
a secret is exposed
or at the least, 
something’s learned.

Put the key
in your pocket
and shut up about
whether’s it’s junk or
treasure: you may not know
which it is for a long time,
maybe not ever.  But

if you honor
the world, you’ll
hold on to it
and keep looking
until there’s nowhere
left to look,
or you are unable to continue —

and when you’re gone,
if you go without knowing,
some heir will pick up the key

and begin,
because it argues for
a lock, and the lock argues
for a door,
and the door argues
for passage. 

 


Driving Song

Linger for hours
in swelter and sweat.
Minute to minute,
how much can I stand?
I talk to myself nonstop.
Long drives bring
the cheerleader out in me:
Another hundred, fifty,
twenty-five. Ten, five,
rest stop. Stuck to the seat,
find myself

peeled.  Pisscall,
hot dog. Then,
two hundred,
hunnert-seventy-five…

end in sight? Not in sight:
in scent.  Ocean, oil,
bed in the mix. 

Driving’s about 
tension on a rope
pulled from home.
Love that burn
on my hands from the wheel.
Love that cooling off
once I get out.
Love how I long
for it to return
once I stop.