Put out the trash this AM

It took all my strength to do it
as it stunk and required two bags
plus a recycling bucket to be emptied
and the cat’s litter bucket to be emptied

I did it in light rain and felt OK at the end
though I’m two pounds lighter this AM
and feeling every ounce of my
(disability? sickness? chronic issue? curse?
what should I call this that won’t go away?)
I felt OK at the end

Put out the trash this AM

I am sitting now with a computer in my lap
trying to write down whatever I feel
trying to hone it down to perfect words
trying to ruthlessly weed out imperfect words
to weed out feelings I feel but won’t talk about
to rip out a blessing
to massage forth a curse
to put into correct terms
a concretion to be seen

after I stumble through that dark door to my apartment
after I collapse into a chair opposite the door
sit there for the longest time
am discovered shrieked over put away
released

as if that is similar to putting out the trash

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
onward,
T