in this morning’s breaking
of daylight, everything
is the same as last seen:

my light is the same, my
blood is the same, my
trash smells the same

as it did the last time
I took it out in the freeze
of a morning’s light; after,

breakfast will be the same,
and lunch will be the same;
I will have the same cravings,

the same longings all day;
everything, everything will be
the same, everything the same,

every thing, every thing…same,
and all I wanted, lifelong,
was difference, an inexorable

change from one moment
to the next. excitement,
not this steady glow that feels

like a fade. slowly, a wide open
fade across myself begins
and I can’t stop thinking about it.

I can’t stop thinking, feeling
some kind of way about it.
it’s like crossing a divide,

a continental divide; snatches
of old songs overhead. my ears
turned to their comfort, tuned anew.

they are different, yet the same,
the same as before. I push on.
no going back into it. no more

of that. of the same wind, the same
safe tunings and progressions. I turn
from them; shoulders squared, I press on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
onward,
T