Used to smoke cigarettes
Now I choose not to
Still like a drink of whisky
Don’t touch anything else
I choose not to now
Too many ways to go numb
I can only decide a few
that feel right and true
It’s a narrow path to heaven
Or whatever comes next
It’s not attempting to feel less lost
More a case of attempting to connect
More about paring down this ruin
I’m a sandcastle after all
The waves are close enough to damage
the firm-appearing walls
that will crumble right away upon
one touch of the bitter ocean
Its waves laugh and laugh
at the ease of my ease with the paranoia
So I sit on the sand and linger a bit
A smoke in my hand still unlit
I will break the sandcastle down one day
Futile gesture with the tide coming in
Glory coming with it
on the sunset’s back
A horse for the eternal need
to trample something
I will get on its back and light the cigarette
Crouch over the good horse’s neck and whisper “now”
because it does not much matter if it is now
Now is forever
We leap
to the task at hand
“““““““““““““““““““““
onward,
T

August 22nd, 2024 at 11:58 pm
I pictured the cigarette and the whiskey, the waves and the sand castle with the water nearby and finally the horse and its rider in motion and then had mixed feelings of sadness and victory or release.