Monthly Archives: January 2022

So Shut Up

“Lose ten pounds now! In
your first week! You
deserve it!” screams the 
commercial that appears 
every seven minutes or so 
on this channel and everyone

or at least all the people who
deserve it can hear
the monetization of 
their fears and how
those ten pounds are
the ticket to their security and 

frankly humanity once they conform 
to the shape demanded by 
this joint so full of
screaming and insistence
In fact I’ve got ten pounds
sitting on my ass right now

that I will gladly keep
to myself thank you
along with my meager money
and my preference for 
allowing myself to decide
what I deserve so shut up


Bouquet

Originally written 2007.

1.

The brain
knows many things.
Some of them you know.
Some you do not.

2.

If the brain
is a flower,
you are
its scent.

3.

Perhaps the brain
is a flower,
starving for light, reaching out
through your eyes
for its sustenance.

4.

If you plucked
your brain
and held it to the light,
would you find the mind?

5.

The mind lives
in the brain and
hides in its petals.
The mind is the dark
among colors.

6.

When you sleep
the brain corrals
the mind. They talk all night,
pretending they are
you. In the morning
you are nearly deaf
from the echoes of their
conversation.

7.

It’s not part of the scheme
that you should understand
everything they were discussing.
There are things shoring up
the brain and mind
that would terrify you
if you knew them.

8.

The brain opens its bloom
long after you close your eyes.
The mind rises from its nooks and folds
to escape, moving past you,
playing in the meadows.

9.

The mind drifts back
in the hot late afternoon.
Your head grows heavy
with pollen. You open your mouth
and bees fly in
to take their fill while the mind
avoids being stung
by the danger in the commerce.

10.

When you sleep
the mind and brain bear ideas.
You pretend they are your own fruit.
The brain laughs at you. The mind
strokes you softly, saying,
“There, there…”

11.

You are the scent.
Something plucks your brain
and you die slowly. Maybe
another brain and another mind
recall you for a while, but
you’ll certainly fade.

12.

Anything
fed long enough
on vision, scent, touch,
sound, taste will double back
on its own surety. The brain
makes you sleepy. The mind
makes you frightened. You
make yourself believe
there are reasons for everything.

13.

A night blooming flower
holds its beauty
until first light, collapsing
at the first touch of your hand,
staining your memory
with a scent you can never name.


I’m Going To Tell You A Secret

Do not say how horrible
this world has become for you
without speaking as well of how horrible
it has always been to others.

If you are surprised to feel at last
its downward slant and how
you now struggle to walk anywhere
when every destination is now somehow uphill all the way,

imagine lifetimes of doing this; imagine
the millions now alive and millions now passed
who have needed to be ceaselessly wary,
clutching their hearts, guarding their footsteps.

I’m going to tell you a secret 
that’s really never been a secret:
your prior ease was grounded
in the uneasiness of those others. 

I’m going to tell you a secret
that’s really never been a secret:
your recognizing it today and calling it new
feels vaguely insulting to those vast crowds.

I’m going to tell you a secret
that’s really no secret at all:
some of what you wail about, what ails you
now, what hurts your back and strains your lungs?

Some of what feels so new to you
is age-old and so common
that your shock and anguish
look at least a little like a lie. 


A Failure Of The Imagination

Did you imagine any of this correctly
back when you lay in your room
before dawn and school and first love
and tried to foresee your life? If you did,
did you get the background right as well,
never mind the foreground and the bad business
offstage that clouded the formal dialogue 
and gave it a layer of unease you could taste —
if you did, if you got any or all of it right, why
are you here now trying to survive all of this?
Unless you thought it would fade by the time
you got here, or perhaps that you’d be among those
who would vanquish all the awfulness? Maybe you are
still at it, still making it better on center stage;
maybe you’re part of the problem; maybe
you never believed it would happen at all
and you trusted your childhood vision was going to be
wrong. Maybe you can’t even say why you pushed on
and persevered but now that you’re here 
and the decay and rot of the world is so evident,
you look back and imagine how it should have been
so clear, considering how far you’ve come from 
dawn and school and first love
and how none of any of that
came to be or stayed true.


To Restring A Guitar

To restring a guitar
on the morning of a snowstorm
is to convene a seminar 
on the joys of knowing very little.

To restring a guitar
is to open a familiar door
and find familiar things
have been moved to a new room.

To restring a guitar
is to pull the pushpins
from a bulletin board
and throw away the outdated notes.

To restring a guitar
is to understand nothing again
and find something else
has been made clear again. 

To restring a guitar 
when the weather is bad
is to declare that last night’s forecast
was incomplete. 


Superheroes

You lost your wonder
thinking of the closed side show
within your body,

a silent fun house
of reluctant superheroes
you can’t call on to save you any more.

It’s hard living in that bed. It’s hard to see
the empty feeder outside the window,
the subsequent absence of birds.

Before this, you might have asked
whether someone was slacking and if
someone could get it handled. 

Now you don’t even ask where the birds are.
You stay silent listening for wings and capes flying
to your rescue, but nothing’s coming, so you just sit.


Social Justice

Haul wood,
chop water.
Do the hard work of 
reversal.

How far
there is to go,
how futile the effort
seems to be.

The wood yet to be moved
doesn’t diminish.
The water refuses
to stay split. 

Maybe it’s best
to return to 
the desert where
there’s little of either.

Once there, though, visible
beyond the dry horizon
are the forests
and now and then, the rain.

Stand outside 
and go through
the motions: swinging,
preparing to clutch.

Become a readiness,
a consciousness: 
a hauler of weight,
a cleaver of flood. 


The Necessary Mirror

Did your bogeyman tell you
there was just one villain
to blame for all pain?
Did your bogeyman tell you
that everything wrong trailed 
from one leading edge?
Did your bogeyman sell you
a volume of such misdirections,
then eat your liver?

Put your bogeyman
in a capitalist hat.
Paint your bogeyman
as a white cat with perfect teeth.
Dress your bogeyman 
in an able bodied suit.
Cast your bogeyman
in a heterosexual play.
Mask your bogeyman
behind a bottle full of money.

I don’t believe your bogeyman
has stopped laughing at you yet.
I don’t believe your bogeyman
adds anything fresh to fear.
I don’t believe your bogeyman
can never show their face to you.
I don’t believe you own
the necessary mirror. 


The Dance

It has been more than a few days 
when I come back with some reluctance 
to the dance from the outer room, 
stopping for a moment
on the threshold to watch others
whirl around like teacups
on a theme park ride.

I stand there wondering
if it’s worth it to begin again,
to pay the fare and join in;

then I recall the joys 
of uncertainty, the worry
and the planning
for where things might go
if the ride breaks down 
at the height of the swirling;

I think of the dancers,
of the dance itself
leaping and careening
into a stomp from a waltz,
the orchestra shifting gears
from decorum to abandon.

How can I not join in
when it seems
that all I have resisted 
has begun to change
and who I am
and what I have been
will settle at last into
the music yet to come?


Unicorns (The Collapse of Western Civilization)

I believe that if you are riding a unicorn
and said unicorn bucks you off, 
you get yourself a plain old horse
and get back up. 

I believe you then ride after that unicorn,
lasso it, hold it still while you ask it
how it became so trendy and why
that whole virgin myth got started. 
I suspect it will shrug, if unicorns 
can indeed shrug. I suspect someone
started that cockamamie story as a way
to get virgins to sit out in the woods
for hours waiting for something to happen.

Meanwhile, perfectly good horses
sit lonely in their stalls back at the stable
and despite all the stories they play a role in
they’re considered too common
for the magical bandwagon these days. 
Everyone loves a unicorn, so much so
they don’t think enough about
the horses and narwhals
who made them happen. 
(Don’t get me started on narwhals.
I’ve roped a few in my time
and with that whole lack of shoulders
they shrug even less obviously
than unicorns do.)

You’re shaking your head
at all of this. After all,
you are currently riding a unicorn
that shits rainbows wherever you pass.
You live as if you’ve haven’t been
repeatedly betrayed 
by the rest of the mythology
which gave us unicorns
as it formed us.

It’s an apocalypse out there.

Soon enough
you’re going to need a horse
to get somewhere
because once the narwhals
go extinct, the slow forgetting
of unicorns shall begin
and the only thing to do then
will be to create
some new chimeras to ride. 

You might as well start now. After all,
none of us are virgins any more.