Morning.
I’m terrified
of myself.
Last night
I dreamed again
of lead and steel
speaking truth to power,
speaking directly to its faces
and those visions
won’t leave my head
now that I’m awake.
I thought I’d forgotten
that language.
It’s so ancient, so
differently civilized.
It hurts my tongue
a little (although a little
less each
subsequent time I test
it against the edge
of the moment, even when
I can taste blood after).
I am remembering
how to use it
to call up those
ancestors long gone,
those once
so fluent in it
that while there must have been mornings
when they must have risen
to similar terror,
they still raised their voices
of lead and steel
and spoke
deadly truth to their
enemies
because to hold it back
was to die.
Morning.
I’m awake.
Afraid but compensating,
getting used to
forming thoughts
from dreams,
translating.
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