Originally posted 1/21/2010.

This is how I learned it

On the one hand
Big Shiny Jesus
Sweetness
Little-children-come-unto-me cuddly

On the other
Scary Bloody Jesus
Big wounds
Three days give or take two thousand year stare
Just-got-in-from-Hell-and-boy-are-my-arms-tired

On my own I figured out
that if there had been a third hand
Jesus could have built his own crucifix
Nailed himself there with a rueful smile

so
whatever I wanted most after that
I called on Jesus to give me

I sang out
Lay me like a babe in the arms of Papa Jesus
so he can toss me backwards over his thorny head
in a salty ritual against the enticements of Satan

Let me grab hold of the ammo belt
of Soldier Jesus and bring him
into my trench before he’s cut down

I loved the Jesus of the moment
whoever he was
like a mirror

until one day
Loc’d Jesus
in the blue grime rags of the alley
wouldn’t take my pity dollars
Then Righteous Jesus went through a phase
where he’d only listen to Rise Against
and bemoan my bad taste
and Dice Thrower Jesus
laughed like Einstein
whenever I chewed my nails
over bills and lack of work

I’m not a fan anymore but
because of how I learned

I keep looking over my shoulder
for whatever Jesus
I might have overlooked