How To Be Their “Indian, I Mean Native American” Colleague

Originally posted 1/19/2013.

Accessorize!
Hang a dreamcatcher
near your monitor.

Tell them your uncle
is an avowed shaman
at plumbing.

Hang no pictures of your parents;
stoically hint at a “plight”
when you mention them at all.

Squint, shade your eyes, and nod
to support the notion
that “the past is past.”

Smile wryly and often
when choking down
bile.

When faced with the questions
about surviving in the wild,
cryptically suggest “you know a few tricks.”

Pat their shoulders, firmly but gently,
when they cringe mightily before you
about rooting for the Redskins.

Always dress as a ghost might dress,
or how you think a ghost would dress
for becoming trapped between worlds.

Stifle your screams when you hear the words
“Cherokee grandmother, great-grandmother, oh,
somewhere back there somewhere there’s Cherokee…”

Turn down the offer
to join the gang
for drinks after work.

Get in the car and put your head down.
Be yourself for a minute
while they aren’t looking.