Restaurant Review (draft, still — revised)

So, I did this last night at the Vernon (whichyou should have been at, by the way, as David Surrette gave an awesome feature) as a dual voice piece with Dave MacPherson.  (Yes, I wrote and performed a multi-voice piece.  multimediagrl , you may faint now.)  Based on how it went, I’ve made some extensive edits. 

I think it’s safe to say that seeing Danny Hoch at 13 earlier this month may be influencing me a bit.

"Hey, it’s me…you call?  Yeah, I’m outside…wait a sec, I’ll move and see if the reception’s better…how’s that?  Good….Lunch?  Sure, where do you want to go?…Homegrown Foods?  Ok, but if we’re gonna eat there, we gotta eat inside.  Yeah, I know it’s nice out…see, the other day I’m trying to ignore this homeless guy who’s ranting on the street while I’m sitting and trying  to eat my lunch on the patio there and he will not shut up…"

gimme gimme

gimme gimme jimmy gimme gimme

lift up your sheets for a minute
lift up your foil
lifted his aluminum dog tags
lift them up

listen
I’m not completely crazy
I know I’m not sane if you think about sane
the way you do

"and this guy is just going on and on about nothing, you know, like they do…"

who’s the new president?
al gore?
or is it barackbarack obamamamama
the old one was gimme gimme gimme gimme george
old or new
they didn’t know him
didn’t know
gimme gimme
jimmy
gimme jimmy stallings

listen
I used to know this guy with a red hat
gimme gimme jimmy
had a hand out all the time but who doesn’t
I used to be that guy’s best friend
he died
who doesn’t
no more gimme gimme jimmy

"and all I’m trying to do is have a fucking sandwich, y’know?"

I knew him
someone poorer than him kicked him to death
he died
on the sidewalk right there
stole his shoes his bag
I lifted his dog tags
I told everyone
keep telling everyone
gimme gimme jimmy gone
no one came to see when I told
I knew him
I’m just a howler they say
but it was true
even when no one came to see
gimme gimme jimmy
go

"and that’s just like completely screwed with my appetite…it used to be a nice place…yeah, i know, but how’re you gonna keep anything down with that in your ear…and he kept looking at me…"

bagged him without a tag
didn’t even ask me what happened
no gimme gimme the news about jimmy jimmy gimme gimme
what do you need to know the story for
it’s always bad somewhere
always a potter’s field for someone somewhere

"so I call the manager over and I say, can you do something here? and he’s all yes sir, yes, I’ll call someone…"

gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme
jimmy
yeah
I still have his dog tags —
lift them up and let them shine
listen
gimme gimme jimmy loved being a soldier
he said war’s not reasonable but we need it
it’s like god that way
rich people aren’t god
and this isn’t war
this is gimme gimme
they’re reasonable
when the rich get poorer
so do the poorer-than-them
that’s the way it is
sensible

"Yeah, so the manager calls the cops…and they come.  Takes them long enough…and all theydo is move him down the block and he keeps shouting back at me, I think…yeah, maybe not, but it seemed that way…"

one’s got
the other gives up
one’s angry
the other gets cut
one lives
the other gets buried alone
one gets unruly
the other makes a gun
one makes another kill another with a gun
take away the guns
melt them into forks
gimme gimme gimme a fork to shoot
forks are empty and who cares
can’t shoot anyone with a fork

"the guy never shuts up even while they’re driving him off.  At least they comped my meal, so it wasn’t a total loss…yeah, right.  You’re funny.  I’ll gladly pay for the meal if he’s not there…so we check the patio first, see if he’s there, then maybe we eat outside…"

gimme gimme gimme your hands
i’m so dirty
my hands are dirty
hands always get dirty in order
of how much dirt they’ve touched
the poor touch a lot of dirt
touch it before the rich do
but we’re all dirty sometimes
lots of digging to be done
if we need more guns to dig with
we’ll just melt down the forks and start over
how hard can it be

"But seriously — I’m cool with Homegrown.  What time?  Twelve thirty?  Yeah, that’s fine.  Who ever gets there first, they check out the patio, if he’s gone, we’ll meet there…look inside first though…ok, I’ll see you.  Let me know early if anything changes…"

who needs a fork anyway
who’s eating these days anyway
who’s eating
gimme gimme gimme gimme
jimmy
don’t need food now
I got his dog tags
I remember his name